


The Way You Say I Love You

by Demonqueen21



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Again, Alcohol, Amusement Park, Angst, Anniversary, Anxiety, Beer, Bets, Blood, Body Pillows, Bondage, Breakfast, Breathing Exercises, Character's Name Spelled as Victor for one chapter (27), Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Chores, Christmas, Christmas Tree, Coffee, Crying Yuuri, Depression, Dishes, Domestic Fluff, Drinking, Falling Out of Love, Flowers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forced Kissing, Forced Sex, Forced touching, Hospital, Ice Skating, Kisses, Light Bondage, Lots of Oneshots, M/M, Makkachin - Freeform, Makkachin comforting him, Makkachin kisses, Milk, More teasing, Music, Panic Attacks, Phone Calls, Pole Dancing, Possessive Viktor, Power Outage, Puppy Kisses, Rape, Russia, Self-Doubt, Sex, Shower Sex, Snow Storm, Suffering, Suicide, Suicide Letters, Teasing, Train Ride, Unconditional Love, Valentine's, Viktor Crying, Viktor being extra, Viktor doesn't know what to do, Viktor gets lost, Viktor is a literal man-child, Viktor loving Yuuri, Viktor misinterpreting things, Viktor overhears, Viktor saving Yuuri, Viktor's not an idiot for once, World's, Yandere Viktor, Yuuri cooks, Yuuri finds him, Yuuri leaving him, Yuuri practicing how he's going to confess, Yuuri says I love you, accident on ice, beach, breaking world records, broken ornaments, but not for competition, cheap suits, competitive teasing, ease dropping, expensive watches, fucking freezing, headache, implied suicide, it's Makkachin's fault, katsudon, mostly sober, nendoroids, oneshots, performing, posters, ruining cheap suits, scared Yuuri, sex in cheap suits, sober pole dancing, viktor is a terrible cook
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 02:10:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 30
Words: 43,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9413102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demonqueen21/pseuds/Demonqueen21
Summary: 35 prompt challenge http://trash-by-vouge.tumblr.com/post/132858041745/the-way-you-said-i-love-youEach prompt will be a chapter. Most chapters will be unrelated to each other. 35 ways to say I love you. Some fluff, some angst, some rape, some happy sex, some death, some suicides, some terrible cooking, some drinking, some domestic fluff. Featuring Viktuuri.





	1. As A Hello

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Victuuri  
Rating: K+  
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything  
Warnings: Gay dads and angry adopted son

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 1: As a Hello

“How much longer are you going to be moping, Pork Cutlet Bowl?” Yurio spat as he landed a triple Salchow. He was working through a warm-up routine while the other Yuuri lifelessly scooted in a circle around the ice. God, watching that fat pig slink on the ice is pissing him off! He couldn’t take it any more, he grabbed Yuuri by the collar and dragged him off the ice. He threw him on a bench and slapped him. Yuuri only stared at him in shock.

“Why the hell are you even here if you’re not going to skate, pig?! Just because Viktor isn’t here doesn’t mean you can act like a child! Go cry in the bathroom again for all I care, just don’t take up space on my ice!” With that, Yurio spun around to angrily go back to his jumps while Yuuri simply stared at him. The routine Yurio was doing was what Viktor had shown him.

Yuuri missed Viktor so much.

He couldn’t help but place his head in his hands and cry. He missed Viktor so much. The tears just kept coming and coming, flowing down his face. His chest hurt to breathe and his heart was ripping in two.

“SHUT THE HELL UP YOU DAMN PORK CUTLET BOWL AND LOOK IN FRONT OF YOU!” He hear Yurio scream and the scratch of ice as he landed another jump. He looked up to see a flash of silver as arms quickly wrapped around him. Full body weight forced him off the bench, and Viktors weight was crushing, yet, the weight was so comfortable.

“Viktor! You’re back already?!” Yuuri ran his hands through those silver locks he loved so much.

“Yuuri, I love you,” he leaned down and gently placed his lips over his younger lover’s. “I just couldn’t wait to see you again. I had to come back,” He kissed Yuuri’s lips and his cheeks, his neck and ears, his forehead, everywhere he could possibly reach.

“Viktor. Viktor. Viktor, I love you, too,” was all he could mumble with tears dripping down his face, but this time, they were happy.

“GET A ROOM YOU FAT PIGS! LET ME SKATE IN PEACE!”


	2. With A Hoarse Voice, Under The Blankets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk Viktor makes Yuuri scream.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: M  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything  
Warnings: smut tease, no actual sex in this story. Sorry. I planned to...and then this happened

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 2: With A Hoarse Voice, Under The Blankets

Yuuri had been screaming. All night. It was just after the Cup of China, and his coach and him had returned to their shared hotel room to spend one last night before flying to Russia. Of course, Viktor took him out to celebrate with lots of drinks.  
Lots. Of. Drinks.

Yuuri had quickly learned that as Viktor got progressively more drunk, he also got progressively less clothed. And last night, Viktor was very drunk. Yuuri tried his best not to drink too much, knowing fully well he would have to have his own senses to put Viktor's clothes back on and get him back to the hotel room.

“C’mon Yuuri! Drink vit me! Vaitor, oone musk round of shojts puhleesh!” he had drunkenly slurred while Yuuri looked under the table to find his coach’s shirt.

“No! Waiter, it's fine. Just the check, please. Come on, Viktor. Let's put our shirt back on now,” he tried to coax the fabric over the silver locks, only for Viktor to giggle and slide his hands under Yuuri’s shirt.

“If mine goes bake on, den Yuuuuri’s musk come off,” Viktor slurred in his ear.

“Viktor! No! Stop! DO NOT TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF!” Yuuri reluctantly gave up on trying to get Viktor's shirt back on and only focused on dragging him out of the restaurant.

“Yuuri~ Ish cold outside,” he heard his coach coo in his ear. His arm draped over Yuuri’s shoulder tightened, and his free arm came up to hug the smaller man.

“Well, who's fault do you think that is? You could put your shirt on,” Yuuri said as he helped the very drunk and very shirtless Viktor walk towards their hotel room.

“Yuuuuuuri~ Ishk coooold~” Viktor whined as his arms tightened around his shoulders.

“I don't want to hear you complaining until AFTER you have your shirt back on,” Yuuri firmly said as he continued to drag Viktor along the streets.

“But if I put my sjirt om, I'm zat musk father away from Yoori,” Viktor mumbled as he tilted his head into Yuuri’s neck, which elicited a nice, red blush from the younger skater.

“Viktor, I doubt one layer of cloth makes that big of a difference,”

“It's da difference between skex or dry humping,” Viktor moaned as his wet tongue slid along the back of Yuuri’s ear.

“VIKTOR!” he couldn't help but cry out as his face turned a deeper shade of red. He saw a few heads turn to stare. Flustered, he quickly ran off half dragging Viktor along with him. “VIKTOR, STOP LICKING ME!” he half screamed, half whispered as to not draw any more attention to himself. Which was very hard as Viktor was still very shirtless and clinging onto him.

Eventually, they got back to their shared room, and Yuuri happily dropped him off on the bed. Viktor was as red as a tomato and drunk off his ass. Yuuri only sighed as he stood up to go shower. Until he felt a tight grip on his sleeve.

“Yuuri~ Let's get naked~”

“W-What?! Viktor, no. NO!” his cries fell upon too drunk to care ears as Viktor pulled the smaller boy into his lap. Yuuri struggled and screamed while Viktor's nimble fingers slid under his shirt. His cold fingertips sent shivers down his spine.

“VIKTOR! STOP! WE HAVE A FLIGHT TOMORROW!”

“Well, then Yoouri better get owt ov your clojes n relaaaax~” he coyly cooed in Yuuri’s ear as he slid his shirt up above the young skater’s chest.

“VIKTOR! VIKTOR STOP! VIKTOOOOOOR!!!!”

And that was how Yuuri wound up underneath the duvet of their shared hotel bed, naked as can be, pressed up against an equally naked Viktor.

“Yuuri~ It’s time to wake up~” Viktor tried to pull up the covers, but Yuuri only huddled underneath them. “Oh? Come on, Yuuri. You can’t still be mad after last night, I don’t even remember what I did~”

“You stripped me and then yourself despite all my screaming protests and then fell asleep after kissing me…” was all Yuuri could hoarsely mumble from underneath the blanket.

“Oh Yuuri, you sound terrible. I’m sorry. If you come out now I won’t fall asleep after a kiss~” Viktor smiled as the covers perked up a little to show Yuuri’s eyes peeking up. Viktor leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead and smiled.

“You’re lucky I love you, Viktor,” Yuuri croaked out from underneath his cover. The silver haired beast only chuckled and kissed him again.

“I love you, too, Yuuri,” he placed a hand on the younger boy’s head and gently stroked his hair as the two of them laid in the bed for a little longer.


	3. A Scream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri angst. Viktor fucked up.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: T because language and licks  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything  
Warnings: It’s just a neck lick, don’t get too excited. Angsty. I regret a lot. (I’m sorry Viktor)

The Way You Say “I Love You”

Ch 3: A Scream

“Yuuri~ I love you!” The silver fox called out. The two had returned back to Yuuri’s room in his family’s inn after training at the rink with Yurio. Yuuri’s bright red face was charmingly adorable to Viktor. He just couldn’t help but tease the younger boy.

“V-Viktor? What are you saying?” was all he could stammer out.

“What do you think I’m saying? You should be able to understand my English just fine. I LOVE you, Yuuri,” he caressed his cheek and leaned in. Yuuri was fidgeting in his seat.

“I understand what you’re saying just fine, Viktor! Please let go of me!” he cried out while Viktor snaked his arms around his neck. His warm breath tickled Yuuri’s ear.

“If you understand, then why are you questioning me? I love you, Yuuri. Will you say it back?” he nuzzled into his neck and squeezed. He could feel Yuuri’s blush spreading all the way down his neck.

“V-Viktor… please let me go. Are you drunk?” he was stuttering and gently trying to push Viktor off. No way that was going to work. Viktor forced his body weight forward causing Yuuri to fall on his back. He hovered over the younger man with a glint in his eyes.

“Yuuri, I love you. Do you love me, too?” he was eyeing the very red man squirming beneath him.

“Of course I do! Now please get off me!” He tried to sit up, but Viktor was having none of that.

“Of course you what? I want to hear you say it, Yuuri~” he leaned down and slowly licked his neck. His only reply was a high-pitched squeak. Shocked, he looked at Yuuri to find his hand covering his mouth, and his blush an even darker shade of red (if that was possible). “Did you just squeak?”

“Sh-Shut up! This is your fault!” he quickly hid his face behind his hands, and Viktor couldn’t help but giggle at how adorable his little student was.

“If you want me to stop, all you have to do is say three little words~” Viktor continued to slowly lick up and down his neck. Yuuri was squirming underneath trying to push him off.

“Please...Viktor. Stop,”

“Or would you prefer to say it in Japanese? Hm?”

“Wha-”

“Come on, whisper it in my ear. Ai shiteru yo~” Viktor gently nibbled on his neck causing a gasp from the younger man. Whether that gasp was from his bite or from his Japanese, Viktor didn’t know. “Tell me you love me, Yuuri~” He looked up expecting to see a blushing, quivering mess, but to Viktor’s surprise, all he saw was tears. Shocked, he completely froze staring at this crying boy beneath him.

“Y-Yuuri-”

“Why are you doing this?” he whimpered out between his heavy breaths. His hands went up to his face wiping away tears. “Why are you doing this to me? Viktor,”

Viktor was dumbfounded. He only wanted to watch him blush and squirm ever so cutely. He never expected him to cry like this. What had he done to set it off? Did he bite too hard? Did he upset Yuuri because he’s never had a lover before? Did his Japanese not mean “I love you?”

“Yuuri...I never meant to make you cry,”

“Then why? What do you expect me to think when you’re doing these things to me? I’m just a joke to you,” he pushed Viktor off of him, and this time, Viktor let him. Yuuri sat up and was still crying and wiping away his tears. “You can’t just say “ai shiteru yo” to me like it’s nothing. All you ever do is tease me and treat me like a toy. Why are you even here? What did you see in me? Someone to mess with? Someone to tease? I can’t take this anymore, Viktor,” he was sobbing. His eyes were burning and the tears just kept falling and falling no matter how much he wiped them away. His chest hurt, like his heart was ripping in two. It wouldn’t surprise him to find out it actually did rip in two. The man he’d admired, the man who traveled to Japan to see him, the man who quit skating to be his coach, was just fucking with him.

“Yuuri. That’s not- I didn’t- I mean-” Viktor was flustered. He’d never been particularly good at dealing with people crying, especially when it was his fault. “I’m sorry, Yuuri,”

“It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters to you. I don’t matter to you,” he placed his head in his hands and cried and cried and cried.

“That’s not true, Yuuri! You do-” Viktor started before he was cut off.

“You do matter to me?! Is that what you want to say? After all of this? After you treat me like some play toy?!” Yuuri was screaming, his tears falling down his face. “Are you serious, Viktor?! After all of this, you want to say I actually mean anything to you?!”

Viktor could only stare in shock. Yuuri had only yelled at him once before after he had forgotten he’s never had a lover before.

“You just don’t get it, do you?! You don’t do this shit to someone you love! This isn’t what love is! You don’t love me! I mean nothing to you while you mean everything to me! Fuck you and your shallow “I love you!” You are everything to me, Viktor!” Yuuri was hysterical and screaming and crying, and Viktor could only watch him shake with rage and fear and tears.

“Yuuri,”

“I FUCKING LOVE YOU, VIKTOR!” he screamed. Viktor was frozen, and Yuuri slumped down, hugging his knees. “I love you, Viktor,” he mumbled as his body started to shake. He rested his head against his knees and wept.

“Yuuri,” Viktor gently placed a hand on his soft, black hair before being slapped away. His eyes widened as Yuuri huddled into a smaller ball. What had he done? He never meant for this to happen. “I’m sorry, Yuuri.”

Viktor stood up and quietly slid the door shut behind him. It was only after he got back to his own room did he let the tears fall.

He messed up big this time.

***********  
Note: Ai shiteru yo is a very, very intimate way of saying “I love you” in Japanese. It is not something you normally say to a boy/girlfriend. It is something you only say once you are very intimate with the other person. This is why Yuuri takes it so harshly because Viktor uses it so lightly, not fully realizing the implications behind his word choice.


	4. Over A Cup of Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a continuation of last chapter. Things get better?

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice   
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: K+   
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: Don’t forget to drink your tea, or it will go cold. Bittersweet ending? 

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 4: Over A Cup of Tea

Viktor couldn't find Yuuri. He wasn't in his room or at the ice rink. He had even checked out Minako’s ballet studio with no luck. Yuuri had vanished. Yuuri had vanished, and it was all Viktor's fault.   
How could he have been so stupid?  
Viktor returned to the inn and went to Yuuri’s mother asking if he had returned yet.   
“I'm sorry, dear. I haven't seen him since dinner last night,” she sadly shook her head.  
“Ah. All right. Thank you,” Viktor sat at one of the little tables in front of the TV and rested his head in his arms. Where could he have gone? Viktor had to apologize. He had to tell Yuuri the truth. He had to fix this whole mess he started. A soft clink made him pick his head up to see a ceramic cup with steam wafting up out of it.  
“I don't mean to pry, but what exactly happened between you two? It's not uncommon for Yuuri to run off, but it's not like him to completely isolate himself,” his mother gently sat down across from the little table to look at Viktor. A pang of guilt shot through his stomach.   
“I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I said something to him, and he got very upset,” Viktor cupped the hot tea in his hands and watched the steam slowly drift up.   
“Well, he is a very sensitive child. What did you say exactly? If you don’t mind me asking, that is,” she smiled and waited patiently as Viktor stared at his drink.   
“I told him “ai shiteru yo,” and he started crying. I thought it meant “I love you,” but I guess it didn’t…” Viktor slowly mumbled the words still staring down at the cup.   
“Oh my. Viktor, you didn’t,” the woman gasped as the placed a hand over her mouth. He looked up to see her eyes wide.   
“What does it mean? What did I say to him?” he asked, his voice cracking a bit from panic thinking he threw away the love of his life because of a bad translation website.   
“Viktor...Do you really love my son?” She placed her hand on her cheek and gave him a careful smile. Viktor didn’t want to lie.   
“Yes. I do love him. I’ve never felt this close with anyone before, and I don’t want to lose him,” he held eye contact with her hoping to convey his feelings to her. He wasn’t joking, and he wasn’t fooling around. Yuuri meant everything to him.  
“Viktor, sweetie. I’m very happy for you, and I’m sure Yuuri is happy, too. But let me tell you something very bad that you did,”  
“Please. I have to make this right again,”  
“‘Ai shiteru yo’ does mean ‘I love you,’ but it’s not something you casually say. It is a very cultural thing, but that phrase is reserved for when you’re very intimate with someone. It’s not a thing to be said lightly,” Viktor stared at her with his eyes wide. He had fucked up. He covered his face with his hands reliving the events of last night. He was joking and teasing Yuuri. He said this significant phrase so lightly and made him cry. He was a monster.   
“Oh my God, I’m an idiot. I was joking around saying it thinking Yuuri would be more relaxed if we weren’t so serious. I never meant to hurt him like that, I was only trying…” Viktor trailed off. He placed his head on the table, not able to look at the mother of the man he broke. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.   
“Daisuki da yo,” she said, placing a hand over his. “That is a more casual phrase to say what you mean,” Viktor looked up at her, and saw her smiling. “Yuuri has never been in a relationship or confessed before, but he has always idolized you. You have meant everything to him since he first saw you skate. You’re actually the reason he chose to skate,” she gave off a light chuckle and squeezed his hand.   
Viktor could only stare in shock. Yuuri had never told him any of that before. He was his coach, and he had never even thought to ask why he started skating. He was really messing up in every aspect of this.   
“Don’t worry too much about that boy. He may be hiding now, but he always comes home eventually. Go relax in the onsen and think about what you’ll say to him when he comes back,” she stood up and slowly walked away. Viktor was left alone again, and he simply placed his head on the table watching the steam still rising from his cup.   
“Daisuki da yo,” he whispered, feeling the way the syllables rolled off his tongue. “I’m sorry, Yuuri.”  
It was not until 2 a.m. when Yuuri finally returned home. He had hoped everyone would be asleep by then and could avoid talking to anyone. He had spent most of the day avoiding talking to anyone and was not going to change that now. He slowly crept past the common area and quietly slipped into his room. The door shut silently behind him, and he lied on his bed. He let out a heavy sigh.   
He had really done it now. He screamed at Viktor. He cursed Viktor. He slapped Viktor. But worst of all, he confessed to Viktor. What was he going to do now? Things were going so well, but he had ruined everything.   
He messed up big this time.   
A quiet knock pulled him out of his thoughts. He sat up not wanting to see or speak to anyone. He watched the door hoping whoever it was would leave if he didn’t answer.   
“Yuuri. I’m coming in,” he immediately recognized Viktor’s voice. Of course it had to be Viktor. For once, Yuuri didn’t want to see him. He slid open the door and walked in closing it behind him. He was carrying a little tray with two steaming cups on it. “For you. Your mother told me this was your favorite tea,” Viktor smiled and held a cup out to Yuuri. He grabbed it with a small thanks and stared at the steam rising from the cup.   
Viktor took a seat next to Yuuri’s legs, resting his back against the bed frame. This way they were close, but not facing each other. Viktor was scared of looking at Yuuri. He didn’t want to see his expressions. He didn’t want to see the hurt and hatred he caused.   
Yuuri liked it, too. This way, he wouldn’t have to see Viktor’s disgust over Yuuri’s confession. This way, he could hide his tears when Viktor told him he was going to leave. This way, he wouldn’t have to face the man he loved so much walk away. He felt all these feelings bubbling up, wanting to spill out. He swallowed and took a small sip of the tea.   
“I’m so sorry, Yuuri,” Viktor said, looking down at his own cup of steam. “I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t know the implication of what I said to you. I know that’s no excuse, but I hope you can forgive me,”  
Yuuri relaxed a little bit. He was almost certain Viktor was going to tell him he was resigning as his coach. The fact he didn’t comforted Yuuri.  
“It’s okay, Viktor. I’m sorry I yelled at you. I shouldn’t hav-”  
“You most definitely should have,” Viktor’s interjection finally made Yuuri look at him. Viktor was still staring into his cup, but Yuuri watched him speak with wide eyes. “You have every right to be mad at me. I was so cruel to you. I thought...I thought if I confessed as a joke, you’d be more willing to accept it. I never meant to hurt you, and I never meant to make you cry. I love you, Yuuri. That was never a lie,” Viktor finally broke eye contact with his tea and looked into Yuuri’s chocolate eyes. He reached a hand out to cup Yuuri’s face and gently smiled. “Daisuki da yo,” he slowly said each syllable, careful not to mess it up.   
Yuuri could only stare at Viktor with wide eyes. This was everything he could have ever dreamed of. His idol, his hero, his coach, his love, was right there, telling him he loved him. Not as a joke, not as friends, but as something more. Yuuri felt his eyes sting and his vision started to blur around the edges. He gave out a weak smile and a little laugh as all his fears and doubts trailed down his cheeks.   
“Y-Yuuri! I’m sorry, please don’t cry. I’m sorry,” Viktor’s voice was wavering with concern. Why couldn’t he do this right?   
Yuuri kneeled on the ground next to Viktor and wrapped his arms around his neck. Shocked, Viktor could only place a hand around his back while his other hand set his cup of tea down. Yuuri was so warm against his chest, and he could feel the salty tears dripping on his collarbone. He gently started to stroke his soft, charcoal hair with his other hand and held him while he cried.   
“Daisuki da yo,” Yuuri whispered against Viktor’s neck. That was all he needed to hear to know these were tears of happiness, and not sorrow like before. Viktor tightened his hold around the smaller man, and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.   
“Daisuki da yo,” he whispered with a smile. His own tears now slowly making their way down his cheek.


	5. Over A Beer Bottle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not canonly drunk Yuuri, but still drunk Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention that I started this project on FFN before the end of the series, so not everything within these chapters are canon. This is one example of it. Sorry.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: T because of alcohol  
Disclaimer: I own nothing  
Warnings: CUP OF CHINA WINNER SPOILERS! (I believe this is Ep 7-8), Not canonly drunk Yuuri, but I don't want to rewrite this shit (EP 10 spoilers?) and also not technically over the beer bottle, but whatever. 

The Way You Said “I Love You”  
Ch 5: Over A Beer Bottle

Viktor liked to drink. That was no secret or surprise. But tonight, Viktor was determined not to get drunk. The reason being Japan’s choice skater: Yuuri Katsuki. See, Viktor always drinks with Yuuri, but Viktor also drinks much more than Yuuri, so he has never actually seen the man drunk. He was determined to see this little skater drunk.   
They had just gotten the results from the Cup of China with Yuuri bagging a nice silver medal, so of course, being the good coach he is, Viktor took Yuuri out to celebrate! With lots of drinks. Especially lots of drinks for the skater in question.   
“Come on, Yuuri! One more! You should learn to relax every once in awhile~” he cooed while sliding another glass over to the younger man.   
“Ah, Viktor I can’t. My head is already feeling hot. I don’t think I’ve ever drank this much before,” Yuuri pushed the glass away and was met with a very sad look from his coach.   
“But Yuuri! You’ve never won this big before! A big win calls for a big celebration!” he gave his skater a wide smile and draped an arm around his shoulders. He grabbed the glass and held it up to Yuuri’s lips.  
“Ah, careful! You’re going to spill!” Yuuri quickly placed his lips on the glass and took a big gulp. The cool liquid felt good on his throat as it slid down. He was never into hard liquor because the burning sensation was usually too much, but a nice glass of beer was always refreshing.   
“Good boy! Can we get another round over her for the silver medalist!” Viktor called out. Normally Yuuri would be hiding his head in embarrassment, but he was too drunk to have such inhibitions. A cute waitress winked at them while dishing out another two glasses of beer. Yuuri grabbed his and smiled.   
“I guess you’re right, Viktor. Maybe it is good to relax every now and then,” he laughed a bit before taking a sip.   
“That’s right! Listen to your coach! Here, you can even have mine, too,” he passed the glass to Yuuri, who happily took it this time.   
“Thanks,” the night went on with this repeating. Viktor was surprised with how much Yuuri could actually drink. He had thought that all Japanese were lightweights when it came to alcohol, but Yuuri was on his eighth glass and still not even slurring. Granted, his face was redder than Viktor’s Russian jersey.   
When his glasses were empty once again, Yuuri rested his head on his coach’s shoulder. Surprised, Viktor placed an arm around the younger man so naturally.   
“Are you enjoying yourself, Yuuri?” He asked.  
“I need to lay down,” was the faint reply Viktor got. Slightly disappointed, Viktor sighed and smiled. He called the waitress over and paid the bill before helping his very, very drunk skater walk to their hotel room.   
And by walk, he means carry. Viktor soon realized that Yuuri was not like him. Drunk Viktor was wild and had no concerns or control. He had assumed Yuuri would be similar, which is why he wanted to see him drunk so bad. Instead, Yuuri skipped over the fun, party drunk and went right into the “I can’t feel my legs and my head is too fuzzy to see” drunk. In the end, Viktor carried Yuuri piggy-back style to the hotel room with Yuuri mumbling about blurry fuzz and fuzzy blurs.   
It was sort of endearing.   
But also very disappointing.   
Eventually, Viktor laid Yuuri in the hotel bed and covered him up. He looked like he was already asleep, so Viktor was very surprised when he felt a hot hand over his.   
“Viktor...thank you...for...carrying me…” Yuuri mumbled out as he struggled to keep his eyes open and focused. “What...happened? You’re so...blurry,” he was squinting to see the details of the silver blob in front of him.   
“Yuuri, I’m blurry because you’re not wearing your glasses,” Viktor couldn’t help but chuckle at this adorable guy. He wasn’t rambunctious and stripping like Viktor had hoped, but this almost seemed just as good.   
“Oh...that makes...sense...I think?” Yuuri squeezed Viktor’s hand, and Viktor moved to interlock their fingers. “Hey Vicchan, want to know...a secret?” he was grinning from ear to ear like a little child. God, he was so adorable drunk like this. Viktor smiled thinking of the next time he could convince Yuuri to drink like this again.   
“Tell me a secret, Yuuri,” he said back. Yuuri pulled their hands up to his face and whispered against the back of Viktor’s hand.   
“You can’t...tell Viktor...It’s a secret, shhhh,” he smiled, barely brushing his lips against Viktor’s hand.   
“I won’t tell Viktor,” Oh man, this was going to be so good. Viktor couldn’t help but giggle.   
“You...promise?” Yuuri mumbled while nodding his own head in reply. “Promise,” he even replied to himself. Viktor smiled at the sight before him. This guy is just too cute for words. Yuuri carefully reached up and gently pulled on Viktor’s shoulder. He leaned in real close until Yuuri wrapped his arms around Viktor’s neck, nuzzling into his warmth.   
“Vicchan~ Vicchan~ Yuuri loves Vicchan~” he was humming slightly as his hot nose brushed against Viktor’s ear. Viktor slid his own arms around Yuuri and positioned himself in a more comfortable manner.   
“Is that so? What do you love about Vicchan?” He couldn’t help himself. Drunk Yuuri was just too cute.   
“Yuuri loves Vicchan...Vicchan’s skating...Vicchan’s hair...so pretty...and long,” Yuuri was smiling to himself. “But it’s pretty short, too...And his smile...looks like hearts,” Yuuri broke into a fit of giggles as Viktor propped himself up on his elbows to watch this very red man laugh and smile.   
“Does Yuuri want to know a secret, too,” Viktor mused. He nodded his head and stared into Viktor’s eyes waiting. “Vicchan loves Yuuri, too~” he leaned down and placed a kiss on Yuuri’s nose. Yuuri giggled again and nuzzled his head back in Viktor’s neck.   
“Vicchan~ Vicchan~ Love~ Posters~” Yuuri was humming against Viktor’s neck. That last word caught the older man’s attention.   
“Posters?” he mused, snuggling into Yuuri’s soft hair.  
“Posters~ All of Vicchan’s posters~ All of Vicchan’s magazines~ All of Vicchan~ For me~” he was half humming half mumbling at this point, his head slowly bobbing to the sides.   
“Does Yuuri have all of Vicchan’s posters in his room?” Viktor smiled realizing now why Yuuri never let him inside his room. God this kid is adorable.   
“I have some framed on my desk, too~ But don’t tell Vicchan~ It’s a….a...secret,” Yuuri was feeling warm and fuzzy. He could barely keep his eyes open, and his head felt so heavy.   
“Don’t worry, Yuuri. I won’t tell Vicchan. It’s our little secret~” Viktor could not wait until they got back to Japan so he could find all these posters of him. He wondered just how much of a fan Yuuri was before he came to be his coach. He couldn’t wait to tease him.  
“Secret...Vicchan...love…” Yuuri fell asleep wrapped in Viktor’s arms, and Viktor gently stroked his head as he smiled in his sleep.   
Drunk Yuuri wasn’t a disappointment at all, in fact, drunk Yuuri exceeded all his expectations. This man just keeps surprising him.


	6. On A Sunny Tuesday Afternoon, The Late Sunlight Glowing In Your Hair

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: K  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: I don’t even know if it’s actually Tuesday or not...

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 6: On A Sunny Tuesday Afternoon, The Late Sunlight Glowing In Your Hair

“Viktor, where are we going?” Yuuri questioned as he was running behind the silver haired biker. They started doing this when Viktor first came to Hasetsu to be his coach, and it sort of just became habit. But this time, they weren’t going in the direction of the ice rink. In fact, they weren’t exactly going in the direction of anything.   
“Just keep following me~” Viktor looked back and flashed a smile. He was so beautiful, but Jesus, how much longer did they have to go? They’ve been at this for almost an hour now. Yuuri had long since past the point of every step burning in pain, and now, he just doesn’t feel his legs anymore.   
This man is going to kill me.   
Yuuri had accepted his fate. There was no escape. He slowly closed his eyes as he kept running, panting heavily as his legs dragged him forward. He could hear the soft sounds of the gravel as Viktor rode his bike over it, and he could feel his calves slowly give in under his weight. When he opened his eyes again, his eyes fixated on a little pebble lying by his nose. He briefly wondered how a pebble was lying in air, but then he realized it was actually him lying by the pebble.   
Or fallen by the pebble, to be more exact.   
“Yuuri! Yuuri! Are you okay?!” he heard Viktor’s usually cheery voice call out. His tone was rising in pitch. Yuuri listened closely. It was strange hearing Viktor so panicked, but also comforting for some reason. “If you’re about to pass out, tell me! We could have taken a break!”  
Viktor wrapped his arms around the smaller man and helped sit him up. He kept one arm around his shoulders while the other sought around for the water bottle in his bag. Yuuri was still panting and his face was all red, but he didn’t mind if it meant Viktor would hold him like this. He leaned his head against the older man’s shoulder while Viktor held the water to his lips.   
“I swear, Yuuri. You almost gave me a heart attack just collapsing like that,” Viktor softly scolded him as he brushed Yuuri’s bangs out of his face.   
“Sorry, Viktor. I didn’t even realized I fell until you were picking me up,” he replied with a slight chuckle. Viktor could only helplessly smile at him. He was so cute and in his own world.   
“Well, it looks like we ended up near a beach. We can take a break here if you want. I have sandwiches in my bag, too. Let’s have a picnic!” Viktor was up and running towards the soft sand, leaving Yuuri behind. He found it hard to believe that this man was 4 years his senior. He chained up the bike to a nearby fence and followed behind his coach.   
The two of them sat and ate for a while, just talking about the different views in Russia and Japan. Viktor gave a sad smile while telling Yuuri about St. Petersburg, which made his stomach twist in guilt.   
“Do you miss your home?” Yuuri softly asked as he watched the sun start to set.   
“I do miss St. Petersburg, but I realize now that’s not where my home is,” Yuuri looked at him confused. His silver hair was starting to turn hues of oranges and yellows as the sun reflected off it.   
Viktor leaned in and ran his fingers through Yuuri’s softly glowing hair. He watched his eyes sparkle and his cheeks tint red. Viktor smiled and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, before resting their heads together.   
“My home is wherever I can be with you, Yuuri. I love you,” he leaned in once more, this time, connecting their lips together. Yuuri smiled against him and wrapped his arms around Viktor’s neck.   
“I love you, too,” he ran his own fingers through his lover’s hair gently, watching his eyes shine.   
They sat like that for over an hour, playing with their hair and looking into each other’s eyes, completely forgetting about their training. For that moment, they were the only two in the world.


	7. As A Thank You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blood. Yuuri gets hurt.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: T for blood  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: Blood and headaches 

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 7: As A Thank You

It was just another day. Same as every other. Yuuri was practicing his skating while Viktor watched mesmerized. The way his body moved to the music. The way he looked so effortlessly flawless. The way his face lit up and smiled when he landed something just right. The way he was skating so beautiful.   
He let out a whistle and watched as Yuuri smiled with his landing. He saw the skater blow him a kiss and felt his heart beat faster. He could not help but smile.   
“Yuuri~ You’re really hot on your game today! I’ll give you another kiss if you keep this up~” he called out and giggled as his lover’s face grew redder. He saw a wide smile creep on his face as he spun. He was getting ready to do another jump. He was planning on doing a quad flip, but his practice lands haven’t been very successful. Perhaps his promise of a kiss as a reward would do the trick. Viktor smiled at the thought and watched.   
He could not look away. Viktor was in love. And because of that, he saw everything.   
He saw Yuuri’s face go from determined to horrified as he realized he fucked up. He saw the landing he had usually done shakily or with a touchdown fail miserably. He saw his ice skate land and slide at an angle it should not be able to go in the first place. He saw the love of his life hit the floor hard. But most of all, he saw the blood seeping onto the clear ice.   
So much blood.   
He ran over screaming, calling out Yuuri’s name. He called for Yuuko. He was screaming for help. He didn’t know if he could move Yuuri. He didn’t know if it was safe to touch him. He wasn’t moving. He wasn’t conscious. The blood was spilling out from his head. What should he do? What if he made it worse? He’s seen plenty of people hit the ice, but there’s never been this much blood before. They had always been conscious afterwards. What should he do?  
“Viktor, what’s wron-YUURI!” Yuuko came running over to the two. The pool of blood was slowly seeping into Viktor’s pants as he kneeled besides his unconscious lover. He had one hand on his back and the other gripping his hand tightly. His fingers were so cold. Should they be this cold just from the rink?  
“Sh-Should we move him?” Viktor shakily asked, never taking his eyes off of Yuuri’s face. A trail of blood was dripping down his forehead.   
“No. I’m calling an ambulance. Don’t move him if it’s a head injury, you could make it worse,” she quickly pulled out her cellphone and dialed the number. She kneeled on the opposite side of Yuuri telling the operator what had happened. Viktor’s hands were shaking. He was scared. He was panicking. His eyes burned as his vision was going blurry on the sides. He couldn’t help the tears fall.   
“Yuuri...Yuuri, please. I love you, Yuuri. Please,” he whispered watching his unconscious junior’s back slowly rise and fall as he lied there unconscious. Unconscious, but still breathing.   
“Viktor, don’t worry so much,” Yuuko said, placing a hand over his on Yuuri’s back. “Head injuries always bleed a lot. I’m sure he’s going to be fine.”   
He only nodded and watched as his tears dripped into the blood on the ice. He watched as the emergency crew came and rolled him on a stretcher. He watched as the ambulance drove off, leaving him and Yuuko behind. He watched all this behind blurry tears and a tight panic in his chest.   
Yuuko drove him to the hospital. She went to the desk while Viktor sat in a chair in the waiting room. He felt numb. All these scenarios help running through his head as he stared at his bloody knees. Was Yuuri going to be okay? How bad was the injury? Is it going to leave a scar? How much blood did he lose? Would he need a transfusion? What blood type was he even? Oh my God, Viktor is his coach and lover and he doesn’t even know Yuuri’s blood type? What kind of boyfriend doesn’t know that?  
“Viktor, they said tha-”  
“What blood type is Yuuri?!” Viktor interjected. He was looking at Yuuko with a panic in his eyes and tears on his face. Shocked, she stared at him and stuttered out A.   
A. Yuuri was A. Wait. What blood type was Viktor? What if he needed to donate blood to Yuuri? Would he be able to? How does he even find out his own blood type? Yuuko wrapped her hands around his and squatted in front of him. This way, they were face to face.   
“You’re not thinking unnecessary things, are you? All he did was hit his head. Right now, they’re taking him in for some scans to see if he got a concussion and giving him some fluids. You don’t need to donate any blood, if that’s what you’re worried about. They said we can go in as soon as the scan is done, so just wait a little longer, okay? He’s going to be fine,” she gave him a reassuring smile. She was so calm and comforting, it was hard not to believe her. Viktor gave a halfhearted smile.   
It was about thirty minutes later when a nurse came to collect them. He led them down one of the halls into a room. Yuuri was sitting up in the bed awake already. He had an IV in his arm and some gauze wrapped around his head. When he turned to look at Viktor, his heart almost stopped.   
“Yuuri!” he cried out, immediately hugging the smaller man. He buried his face in his soft hair and felt the tears fall. “I’m so glad you’re okay. I love you, Yuuri. I love you so much,” he mumbled in his hair. He felt an arm wrap around his back.   
“I love you, too, Viktor,”  
Yuuri had to stay at the hospital overnight to monitor his head for a concussion, and the staff refused to let Viktor or Yuuko stay with him. Family only. He was beside himself. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t relax. He was pacing all over the inn. He was staring at the clock, wishing time would tick by faster so he could see Yuuri again. Viktor had never experienced a longer night than that one.   
In the morning, right when visiting hours opened at 8, Viktor was in Yuuri’s room, holding the biggest bouquet of pink carnations and flashing his happiest smile. He didn’t want to worry Yuuri, so he had to be happy. He had to be himself. The smile his boyfriend gave back made his heart skip a beat. He gently took the flowers and sniffed them smiling.   
“Thank you, Viktor. I love you so much,” he reached for his hand and placed his lips on his palm. “I know I didn’t make the landing, but can I still have that kiss you promised? It was...uh...a lonely night...without you,” he mumbled out.   
Viktor watched as Yuuri turned his eyes away in embarrassment. He watched as his face turned every shade of pink imaginable. He watched as he leaned down to give his lover a soft kiss. He watched Yuuri close his eyes and his cheeks turned more red. He watched Yuuri smile and hug the flowers.   
And he was going to watch Yuuri win gold, with a perfect quad flip. This time with no blood in the mix.


	8. As An Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So steamy you can't see. Or not.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: M   
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: Gay dads get steamy in bed

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 8: As An Apology

Viktor was hungry. Not for food, but for a certain Japanese skater. He had already gotten a nice taste of him with a kiss, but that only fueled his appetite even more. He hungrily watched as this delicious katsudon skated on the ice. His eyes and expressions were tantalizing. Viktor was so happy he assigned Eros to Yuuri. Because of that, he got a little private show each day.   
“Yuuri, you’re getting sexier each day,” he said as he wrapped his arms around his neck.   
“Eh?! V-Viktor!” he stuttered and blushed. He still wasn’t use to how intimate Viktor was with him.   
“Yuuri, let’s go home. I want to see your Eros in another way,” he flicked his tongue just under his ear earning a shiver and a startled gasp. “Please? I can’t hold back much longer~”  
“B-But Viktor! I still have to practice more,” his voice was shaking and his hands were gripping on Viktor’s shirt, not knowing whether to push him away or pull him closer. Viktor wanted him, and he was going to take him.   
“We can practice more if you want, but that just means I’ll eat you here and now, Little Piggy~” Viktor nibbled gently on Yuuri’s neck leaving a trail of wet kisses. Yuuri could feel his knees go weak and tingles being sent down his spine. He tried to push Viktor away to get him to stop, but it felt so good he didn’t really want him to stop.   
“Vik...tor. Not here…” he mumbled out in between little gasps that only drove Viktor crazier.   
“If not here, then where?” he tugged Yuuri’s shirt down and started sucking on his collarbone. He felt the younger man clench on to his arms and shiver. Viktor’s pants were getting hot and tight, and by the looks of Yuuri’s face, so were his.   
“L-Let’s...go home...Yu-Yuuko might...see us,” Yuuri was holding on to Viktor shaking. His legs were barely holding him up and with every nibble or suck Viktor gave to his neck, he felt less confident that he could stay standing.   
“I don’t think I could wait that long, Yuuri~” Viktor bit a little too hard just to hear Yuuri gasp out his name. Oh yeah, that sounds just right. He licked the nice little hickey he just left and made his way up his neck. His tongue tracing little circles along his neckline.   
“Vik...tor. Please…” Yuuri was begging. His face was red and his lips parted, half wanting more and half wanting to stop. “Let’s go...home.”  
“Why should I wait until we get home, hm? I want you now,” he nibbled on his ear and felt Yuuri tug at his hair. He was panting and his whole body shaking. God, he could not get any more erotic.   
“I-I’ll give you...everything...anything...just please...not here,” Yuuri leaned in and licked Viktor’s ear. “Take me...to bed…”  
Viktor realized at that moment that Yuuri could get more erotic.   
Much more erotic.   
“Change. Run. My room. Don’t keep me waiting,” Viktor slid his tongue along Yuuri’s jawline before quickly turning to go home. He was going to have this man like he was the last thing on Earth.   
It took him 10 minutes to ride his bike back to the inn. It would take Yuuri another 15 to run here. That gave Viktor enough time to make his bed slightly more presentable and to put some supplies within reachable distances. He had just set everything up when he heard a slight knock on the door.   
“Come in~” he called out turning to see a very, very red Yuuri. Whether he was red from blushing or red from running, it didn’t matter. “Come here, you ran so fast. You must be just as excited as I am,” Viktor teased. Yuuri only turned more red as his blush creeped down his neck. He took a few shaky steps towards Viktor, who quickly grabbed him and lied down on bed with him.   
He leaned in for a kiss licking Yuuri’s lips. The younger man parted his lips slighting and Viktor seized his tongue. He nibbled a little to hear Yuuri moan and squirm. He didn’t let up. His tongue was snaking around his wet mouth, and drool was spilling down Yuuri’s chin. Yuuri’s chest was so hot, and Viktor was grinding against him just right. He could feel his head spin, his chest was tight, his pants were uncomfortable. He could taste Viktor’s saliva dripping down his throat, he felt his hot breath on his tongue. It was too much.   
He broke away panting. He bend his neck so his forehead was resting on Viktor’s collarbone.   
“I’m sorry, was I too rough?” Viktor teased. His little lover was just too cute.   
“It’s...not that. Just...when I’m with Viktor...I can’t help it,” he looked up to stare into Viktor’s eyes. His blush was creeping down his neck and up to his ears. His whole body felt hot and tingly. Drool was still dripping down his chin and he wanted more. His eyes were begging Viktor for more.   
“What exactly do you expect when you look at me with such a greedy expression?” Viktor was overwhelmed. This was an entirely new side of Yuuri he just wasn’t expecting. Somehow, this man just keeps surprising him. He giggled and leaned in for a kiss. His tongue scraping against Yuuri’s teeth, his hands intertwined with his hair. He felt Yuuri grip onto his shirt pulling it up. His cold fingers sliding across his belly sending sparks everywhere.   
Viktor could not hold back anymore. He was biting at his neck. He was sliding his hands underneath his shirt. He was gripping his hair and breathing in his hear. He was doing everything he possibly could to make this man moan and quiver with every touch, every lick, every breath.   
Shirts were carelessly thrown to the floor. Pants were slid off and forgotten on the foot of the bed. Viktor didn’t care about any of this. He was completely focused on his lover underneath him. His bright red face, his shaking hands, the tears and drool and sweat dripping down his face, that erotic expression he wore. This was an Eros Viktor wouldn’t let anyone else see. Not even on ice.   
“I love you, Yuuri,” he whispered as he slid a finger inside. His cry only lit a fire inside Viktor. He wanted to hear that scream. He wanted to feel his hands desperately claw at his back. He wanted to see his face begging him for more, more, more.   
He worked Yuuri hard, until he was going crazy. Until he was begging Viktor for all of him. He loved this side of Yuuri. This side that only he knew. His secret Yuuri.   
“Vik...tor...please. I can’t...I want…” Yuuri could barely gasp out as Viktor rubbed against all the right places.   
“What is it, Yuuri? I won’t know if you don’t tell me what you want,” Viktor nibbled at his ear listening to him gasp and pant. His hands were pulling his hair and clawing his back.   
“I want...all of...Viktor. Inside…” his hips were moving on their own, rubbing against Viktor’s fingers. Begging for more on their own accord. Yuuri was giving in to his instincts, and all he wanted was Viktor.   
“That’s what I love to hear,”  
They kept up at it for over two hours. Two hours of Yuuri squirming and gasping out Viktor’s name. Two hours of Viktor marking every inch of exposed flesh. Two hours of them staring into each other’s eyes. Two exhausting hours which they would repeat every day if they could.   
Yuuri was sleeping while Viktor held him stroking his hair. His breathing was light and his face smiling. His neck and chest were riddled with hickeys and teeth marks. It wouldn’t matter so much for his Eros routine, but his outfit for free program would show them. Viktor didn’t mind, he wanted to show the entire world that Yuuri was his, but he also knew Yuuri would be too embarrassed about it. He would have to convince him that they weren’t even that dark (they were) just so he would skate.   
“Nnn...Vik..tor?” Yuuri flinched slightly as he shifted his weight in bed.   
“Shh, I’m right here, my love,” he kissed his forehead and nuzzled in close.   
“Ahh, my hips hurt. You were too rough this time!” Yuuri pouted as he tried to roll over wincing as pain shot through his hips up to his lower back. Viktor was savage with him and boy, was he feeling it.   
“I’m sorry, Yuuri. I love you,” he kissed his lips so gently that Yuuri almost forgot the pain in his hips. Yuuri wrapped his arms around Viktor and nuzzled into his chest.   
“I love you, too, Viktor. But seriously, be more gentle,” he was hiding his blush by burying his face in his chest. Viktor smiled and kissed the top of his head. One hand was stroking his hair while the other slowly ran down his back.   
“I’ll try my best. Did I mention I love you?” Viktor squeezed him, kissing his hair. Yuuri was pouting. The way he hid his head in Viktor’s chest was just too cute. Viktor smiled, but still felt a little bad.   
“Did I mention my hips still hurt?”   
“...”  
“...”  
“I love you?”   
“...I love you, too.”


	9. When Baking Chocolate Chip Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I HC that Viktor is a terrible cook.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: T there’s a few curse words, otherwise it’s just fluff  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: This was slightly rushed since I have a final tomorrow. I just couldn’t leave it alone after Ep 11, so I’m sorry if they seem a little ooc or any grammar errors. 

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 9: When Baking Chocolate Chip Cookies 

It was early February. The two of them had talked about doing something together; Viktor suggested a nice date night, but Yuuri was tired and exhausted and would rather just stay home at the inn. Viktor smiled and snuggled closer to him in their shared bed. He was so cute.   
“How about we have a movie night here then?” he offered. “We can just laze around in bed with popcorn.”  
“Yeah, I think I’d like that,” Yuuri wrapped his arm around his husband’s neck and nuzzled in close. The two of them stayed like that for a while. Yuuri had dozed off, and Viktor wanted to lie there staring at his sleeping beauty forever. Unfortunately, he really needed to pee.   
He slowly slid out from his husband’s arms and crept out of their room. While on his way back, he saw Minako and she struck up idle conversation with him. He was anxious to get back to his room. What if Yuuri woke up? He’d be worried if Viktor was suddenly gone like that…  
“What are you two honeymooners going to be doing for Valentine’s Day?” She gave a wide grin hinting at God knows what while Viktor just gave a hopeless smile.   
“We’re going to stay in for a movie night. He’s still tired out from all the excitement,” he gave a soft laugh.   
“Yeah, I can see that,” she laughed with him. “So which one of you are baking the chocolate?”   
“Chocolate? What do you mean?”  
“The chocolate. You know, for Valentine’s Day?” Viktor only stared blankly at her. What was this about baking chocolate? He knew of Valentine’s Day, sure, but Russia only started celebrating it within the past two decades. It’s not like he had any real attachment to the holiday or any special memories with past lovers. It was always just a special date night and presents.   
“In Japan, for Valentine’s Day, the girl usually bakes chocolates or cookies for her boyfriend. It’s a pretty common tradition. Did you not know?” Minako gave a shocked expression as Viktor slowly started to panic.   
“Oh my God, I’m a horrible husband,” Viktor was quickly panicking now. Minako only laughed at him.   
“Don’t sweat it, you still have a few days to bake some cookies. It’s not like it’s all that hard or anything. I’m sure Hiroko-san will let you borrow the inn’s kitchen,” she waved as she left, and Viktor returned to their bedroom. Yuuri was still sleeping soundly, which made him relax a bit. How could he not tell him such an important tradition? Well, how could Viktor not know something so important? Ugh, how do you even bake chocolate chip cookies? He wrapped his arms around the back of his smaller half and browsed through some recipes on his phone. Oh, these are in heart shaped! Perfect! He squeezed Yuuri a little closer, excited to bake him something.   
The next morning, Yuuri went to the ice rink to relax after Viktor ushered him to be productive. Giggling, Viktor got clearance from Hiroko-san to use the kitchen to his heart’s delight. This was going to go perfectly!  
Or...not.   
It was after his third fucked up batch that Viktor was starting to lose hope. The first one he mixed up the salt and sugar. And the baking soda with yeast. And the vinegar spilled over. It was a bust.   
His second batch was better, but the cookies just wouldn’t settle. They were all runny and liquidy. He gave up trying to bake them after 45min and still liquid. He was running out of time. Yuuri was going to be back soon!  
However; his last batch was just a very black, burnt mess. It looked more like charcoal than cookies. Upset, Viktor just hung his head in shame. Why was baking so hard? He had to get this next batch right! Yuuri would be home any min-  
“Viktooor! I’m back! Where are you?” Yuuri was calling. His voice sounded excited and breathless. Viktor got excited and couldn’t wait to see his newlywed husband.   
Wait, no. Yuuri needs to go away so Viktor can finish baking him some damn cookies. Ugh, but he wants to see his husband, too…  
While Viktor was internally conflicted as to whether call for Yuuri to come to the kitchen or tell him to go away, the younger man found his way into the kitchen.   
“Oh man, you’re really working hard back here,” Yuuri was laughing looking around at the splattered batter and ingredients. “What’re you cooking?”  
Viktor quickly goes to hide the abominations he was burning. He steps in front of the counter trying to cover them up.  
“N-Nothing! Nothing at all! I’m not baking anything!” He panicky spurts out.   
“Baking? I didn’t know you liked to bake. Let’s see what you made,” Yuuri pokes his head around Viktor to see the very black cookies. Viktor can only hang his head in shame at Yuuri’s very surprised, and slightly scared, reaction. “These are...cookies?”   
“...Yeah...Chocolate chip…” Viktor mumbles out, looking away.   
“Viktor, if you wanted cookies we could have gone and bought some,” Yuuri gives a nervously reassuring smile to him, but it only made Viktor feel worse. Yuuri was just so perfect and Viktor can’t even bake him damn chocolate chip cookies.   
“They...were supposed to be for you...for Valentine’s Day,” Viktor mumbles. That definitely shocked Yuuri. He didn’t even know Russia celebrated Valentine’s Day. “Minako told me that Japan gives homemade chocolates to their lovers for Valentine’s...so I wanted to bake you chocolate chip cookies, but none of them turned out right,” Viktor bit his lip. He hated Yuuri seeing him so helpless like this.  
Yuuri grabbed one of his hands and squeezed it. He reached his other hand around to grab a very black cookies.   
“Well, only the top is burnt. If you flip it, you can’t even tell! I like my cookies on the crunchy side anyways,” he giggled and gave Viktor a reassuring smile as he took a bite.  
“Yuuri! You don’t have to-” Viktor was cut off by his husband violently coughing. Oh my God, his husband was going to die from his cookies! Why on Earth did he think he should bake cookies? He was running around getting a glass of water for Yuuri, panicking the entire time listening to his hacking cough. “Oh my-Yuuri-Sweetheart, are you okay? You shouldn’t have eaten that!” Viktor cups his face with both his hands and only sees Yuuri smiling back at him.   
“Well...it’s such a waste since you put so much effort into them,” Yuuri smiled as he drank more water to get the taste out of his mouth. His face was just barely tinted pink from coughing so hard.   
“But they’re obviously terrible! Why would you do that?”  
“Because I love you,” Yuuri matter-of-factly said. He wrapped his arms around Viktor’s neck and nuzzled into his neck. “I’ve never had anyone to celebrate Valentine’s with, so it means a lot to me that you went out of your way to bake cookies for me. It doesn’t matter if they’re good or not, I appreciate the effort more than you could ever know, Viktor. I love you,” Yuuri leans up and places a gentle kiss on his husband’s lips before smiling at him.   
Viktor wraps his arms tightly around Yuuri and smiles back at him. He kisses him again, deeper. He runs his hands through his hair and holds him close. All his fears and anxiety over the cookies were long forgotten. He could only hopelessly smile and whisper in his husband’s ear.  
“Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.”


	10. Not Said To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is part 1 of another 2 part. This two part is the reason this story has the rape warning.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: T for language and smooches  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: Angst. Jealous/Possessive Viktor. Next chapter will be a continuation of this. 

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 10: Not Said To Me

“Wow, Phichit! Your short program was incredible! You’ve wanted to skate to that song for a long time now, right? It was amazing,” Yuuri hugged his close friend and the two of them sat on the empty stands of the now closed stadium. Most of the skaters went back to their hotel rooms to prepare for the next event, but these two stayed back to catch up. The rink was chilly, but comforting and familiar to them, and the quiet was enjoyed.   
“Mine? No way, your free program was way better! The song turned out amazing!” Phichit eagerly replied. The two sat there talking about everyone else’s programs and about Detroit, what they’ve been up to, about their families, everything. Phichit was Yuuri’s only foreign friend, and he was so thankful for that.   
“You know, Phichit. I’m really glad we can still be friends like this,” Yuuri smiled as he leaned back against the stands. “After we broke up, I was really anxious about us, but I’m glad we can still laugh and joke like this.” Phichit laughed and leaned back with him.   
“Oh man, you worry too much! That’s all in the past. I’d never let a relationship ruin a good friendship,” he grinned and leaned in towards Yuuri. “Besides, you and Viktor are a much cuter couple~”  
“Wh-What? No! We’re not like that!” Yuuri spat out flustered. A slow blush was creeping up his cheeks making Phichit laugh.   
“Why not? It’s obvious you’re into him. Is it because he’s your coach? There’s no rules against it,”  
“It- That’s- I mean…” Yuuri got quiet and sat back up. He leaned his head down and stared at his fingers as he idly played with them. “It’s just...I don’t even know if he likes me. Or if he wants to. What if he only thinks of us as a professional relationship, and I ruin it wanting more?”  
Phichit was quiet. He looked at his friend who was on the verge of tears. It broke his heart how clueless this guy can be. He leaned forward and brutally slapped his back, snapping him out of his depression.   
“Man! You really are clueless,” Phichit laughed as Yuuri rubbed his back where he got hit. “Have you SEEN the way he looks at you? He’s got bedroom eyes for you. He kissed you! Besides, who wouldn’t fall for a sexy man like yourself?”  
“Haha, well, I don’t really know about that,” Yuuri nervously laughed. What neither of them realized was a certain Russian hero standing in the gate hall, just beneath the bleachers they were sitting upon. He had been looking for Yuuri, who immediately ran off after the results. When he finally found him, all Viktor heard was Phichit calling him sexy.   
The way the stadium was built, it was very easy to hear things said from the center of the rink where the announcer speakers are. But if you tried to listen in on a conversation besides you, it was harder to hear. Viktor was currently trying to listen to such a conversation.  
“You are! You’re like, super sexy and adorable all at the same time! It’s not fair! I might just take you myself again!” Phichit laughed as Yuuri blushed harder flustered over this praise. He wasn’t use to being called attractive, and Phichit always liked to compliment him like this. He never got use to it, even when they were together.   
Viktor could barely hear the conversation, but he knew damn well what they were talking about. How dare that damn Thai make a move on HIS Yuuri. Sure, they were friends, but Viktor and Yuuri had something special. No way was this punk going to get in between them. Phichit? More like Phishit. He slowly peered around the concrete wall to see Yuuri’s reaction to this confession, and what he saw made his chest tighten and his stomach burn with rage. Phishit had an arm wrapped around Yuuri, and they were laughing together. Together!   
“I kid, I kid~ But just so you know Yuuri, you’ll always be special to me. Whether it’s romantic or as friends, I will always love you. But I can’t wait for you and Viktor to get it on already,” Phichit laughed as he leaned in towards his friend. Yuuri was blushing and smiling.   
“Thank you, Phichit. That means a lot. I will always love you, too,” he bumped his head against Phichit’s and the two of them laughed again.   
Viktor was furious. How fucking DARE he! Yuuri was HIS! No fucking Thai piece of shit was going to steal him away. Not after their dance. Not after their kiss. Not after Viktor had fallen hopelessly in love with Yuuri. They had something special together, and no way in hell was Viktor going to let that Thai twerp ruin things before they even start. Viktor needed to make Yuuri his. Now.   
“I’ll catch you later!”  
“Yeah,” Yuuri waved at his friend as they parted in opposite ways. He had just stepped down into the gateway when he saw Viktor with his back against the wall. Yuuri didn’t notice Viktor clenching his fists at his side, or the way he was gritting his teeth. He just saw his coach and crush standing there, waiting for him.   
“Oh, Viktor. Were you looking for me? Phichit and I went to catch up,” he walked over towards Viktor smiling, completely unaware at just how upset he was.   
“Yuuri,” Viktor said as he grabbed the skater’s arm. Yuuri felt Viktor’s fingers digging into his forearm and flinched a little. “Come with me. Now.” Viktor’s eyes were harsh and cold. His frown was prominent on his face, and Yuuri couldn’t help but wonder what he did to make him mad. He thought his skating was pretty good this time. He had never even seen Viktor mad before, and it was something he never wanted to see again. The way his eyes glared at him was like spears piercing through his chest. Viktor was dragging him by his arm, the pain almost made Yuuri cry out, but he thought it would be better to stay quiet.   
If it wasn’t Viktor, Yuuri would be terrified. But this was Viktor he was talking about. He trusts Viktor. He loves him. Something really bad must have happened because Yuuri knows he would never purposely hurt him.   
So Yuuri kept quiet as Viktor’s grip tightened on his arm, and docilely followed his coach into the changing room within the stadium. He looked around curiously as Viktor stripped his coat and gloves off, carelessly tossing them on a bench.   
“Yuuri,”   
“Ah, yes?” Yuuri walked towards his coach, who wrapped his arms around him. Shocked, Yuuri gasped. Viktor took that moment to steal another kiss, sliding his tongue inside the younger skater’s mouth. Yuuri clenched onto Viktor’s shirt as the older man tightened his grip on his back. The kiss was too long, too much. His head was starting to go fuzzy, his knees were weak, he was hanging on to Viktor just so he wouldn’t fall down. Viktor’s tongue was in his mouth, forcing its way deeper.   
He was struggling for breath. He tried to push away, but Viktor only tightened his grip. He tried to gasp for air, to break free, but he couldn’t. Viktor was much stronger than he was. It wasn’t until his vision started to go black around the edges that Viktor released him from the kiss. Yuuri rested his head against Viktor’s chest, gasping for air. He was shaking and holding on to Viktor just so he wouldn’t fall.   
“Yuuri,” Viktor whispered in his ear. That single word sent a cold shiver down his spine, and it was in that moment Yuuri realized something he never thought he’d ever experience.   
He was terrified of Viktor.


	11. With A Shuddering Gasp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rape. It's just straight up rape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally I put unrelated little notes at the beginning of all my stories on FFN, however, I wrote all these chapters so long ago that most of them don't apply. Once I post all current chapters (22), then I'll start adding the little notes again. I'm usually more friendly than this, I promise.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: M for the sex  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: Possessive Viktor, Rape, There is no happy ending. 

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 11: With A Shuddering Gasp

He was terrified of Viktor. Absolutely terrified. The older man still had his arms wrapped around his body, and he was clutching Viktor’s shirt, shaking.   
“Hmm? What’s this? Shaking with anticipation?” Viktor nibbled his ear. His hot breath felt sick against his ear. It made him dizzy and weak. He felt like he was going to barf.   
“V-Viktor,” his voice was shaking almost as much as he was. He felt Viktor’s arms tighten around him. “W-What are you d-doing?”   
Viktor pulled back and smiled. He took one hand and stroked it through Yuuri’s soft hair. He watched Yuuri’s wide eyes as they were sparkling, searching for answers within Viktor’s own eyes.  
“I’m obviously making you mine,” Viktor leaned down and kissed him gently on the forehead. Yuuri’s face flushed at the gesture. He just shook his head and tried to push away. Viktor gently gripped Yuuri’s hair and pulled him in closer for a kiss.  
“Wa-Wait, Vikt-” his protests were quickly muffled behind soft lips. The older man wasted no time trying to slide his tongue into Yuuri’s mouth. When he felt Viktor’s wet tongue gloss over his lips, he shook his head off to the side trying to avoid the kiss.   
“Tch, why’re you avoiding my kisses?” Viktor slid his lips down to the shorter man’s neck and slowly started to nibble right below his ear. “Oh well~ There’s plenty other places for me to snack on,” he nipped making Yuuri gasp. Oh boy, did he enjoy that sound.  
“Wait! N-No more! So-Someone could come i-in,” Yuuri was trying to squirm out of his arms, so he tightened his grip on his hair and slowly slid his other hand down the younger skater’s back. Yuuri was quivering at his touch, and his little gasps were just too damn sexy. Viktor kissed lower on his neck and started sucking gently, taking note of each sound that escaped his lips.   
Yuuri was scared. Viktor had never acted like this before. He was pushy and clingy, yes, but he had never forced himself like this. Yuuri was absolutely terrified. His whole body was shaking in fear, and he felt tears burning behind his eyes, threatening to come pouring out. The way Viktor’s lips felt on his neck made him sick, like each touch was fire that clung to his flesh. He didn’t want this. He tried to push him away, but Viktor was bigger and much stronger. All he could do is shake and whimper, praying for Viktor to come to his senses and stop this madness.   
Viktor was sucking on his neck. He felt his tongue lick his cold skin, like fire cracking his flesh. His teeth grazed over the burns making him yelp out and his stomach churn. His cry only made Viktor do it more. He couldn’t keep quiet. Every lick, every kiss, every touch sent his skin into a fiery sickness. His head was hazy and his stomach was threatening to come up. Tears burned at his eyes and started to fall down his cheeks, eventually collecting at the shoulder on the man he loved so dearly. Why was he doing this? What had happened? What made him snap? What did Yuuri do to make him so angry that he’d break like this? What did Yuuri do?  
The tears were falling faster, and Viktor’s mouth glided down his neck, licking and sucking at every inch of exposed flesh. Between the two, Yuuri couldn’t stop his whimpers and yelps. His right hand still shakily clenched onto Viktor’s shirt while the other went up to his mouth. He covered it trying not to let out any sounds. The stadium was closed, but it’s not like the changing room was locked or anything. If someone came in and saw this...it’d look bad on Viktor, too.   
Viktor was nibbling on Yuuri’s collarbone when he noticed the younger skater had covered his mouth with his hand. He was muffling all of his erotic moans, probably worried about someone walking in on them. He was a cutie, wasn’t he? Viktor smiled and wondered just how much his little lover could take before giving up on being quiet. He started sucking on his collarbone and dragged his teeth over the tender flesh. Yuuri gasp in his hand and shuddered as he squirmed. Viktor flicked his tongue over the light marks and bit gently, feeling the bone between his teeth. He sucked on the flesh there and made little circles with his tongue. Yuuri was panting and whimpering into his hand. His whole body was quivering, begging for more. Viktor would give him exactly what the wanted.   
“Yuuri, we’re alone. You don’t have to be quiet,” Viktor whispered as he bit along his collarbone. Yuuri couldn’t stop trembling. His body felt hot and sick, like when he’d get fevers from overworking himself. No more. He couldn’t stand it. He hated it. He was scared. Terrified. He felt sick. The tears wouldn’t stop. He was whimpering and gasping just to breath, but he was too scared to make any sounds. No more. Please, no more. He bit his wrist trying to get his mind off of it. His teeth dug into the thin flesh, and he focused on the pain instead of the sickness. He was shaking in fear. He was crying and couldn’t stop. He was biting himself just to keep quiet.  
But at least he was silent.  
Viktor slid a warm hand underneath Yuuri’s shirt. It sent a shiver down his spine, and Viktor smiled against his shoulder. One hand was sliding up his defined stomach and chest, feeling his warm skin while the other pulled down at his shirt collar so Viktor could leave more marks along the top of his chest. Yuuri was shaking and jumping at the feeling of his touch. Viktor looked up at his blushing face, his hand covering most of it, and saw an angel. This man was his. No Thai boy, no woman, no one else would ever see this face of his. No one else would ever hear his gasps like this. Yuuri was his.   
Viktor took both hands and quickly slid Yuuri’s shirt up over his head and tossed it to the side. Shocked, Yuuri released his bite on his wrist and took a step back only to helplessly fall to the floor. He couldn’t feel his legs. It was like they were cement trapping him. Viktor quickly wrapped an arm around his waist and helped him gently to the floor.   
“Oh? I never knew you’d fall so hard for me, Yuuri,” Viktor chuckled at his own joke as he quickly stripped his own shirt off. Yuuri could only watch with wide eyes. His body was frozen. He couldn’t move his arms, he couldn’t open his mouth to say stop, he couldn’t even feel his legs. He could only watch as Viktor kissed and sucked on his bare chest, his own warm body pressed against his.   
He couldn’t take it anymore. Yuuri was just too damn sexy. He was licking and biting and sucking every exposed inch of flesh on his young skater. His hands were grasping at his back wanting more. He felt Yuuri quiver and jump at his touch, his kiss, his love. He loved Yuuri. He loved Yuuri so much. He left kisses down his chest. He nibbled at his slightly defined abs and kissed his way down his belly button. Yuuri’s whole body was begging for more, there was no mistaking it. So why was he so quiet?  
Viktor slid one finger beneath the elastic of his sweatpants as he looked up to see why Yuuri hasn’t moaned or gasped. He knew he was trying to be quiet, but so far he hasn’t been very good at that. He saw Yuuri shaking with a blush on his face and his wrist in his mouth. He was biting himself so hard to keep quiet that he drew blood. A thin red trail marked from his wrist to halfway down his forearm. Viktor’s eyes went wide as he quickly snatched his arm away, pinning it next to his head on the floor.  
“What are you doing?! Don’t bite yourself just to keep quiet!” Viktor shoved two of his own fingers into Yuuri’s mouth and spread them out so each one was resting on his back molars. “Here, if you really want to bite something, bite me. Don’t hurt yourself.”  
Viktor leaned down and was licking his nipple. One hand in Yuuri’s mouth, the other still pinning his bleeding arm on the floor. He flicked his tongue over the pink flesh and gently grazed his teeth over it waiting to feel Yuuri dig into his fingers. Instead, he heard the younger man cry out. His moans filled the air as Viktor gently sucked on his erect flesh. His body was quivering against his, and his yelps only fueled Viktor’s libido.   
Viktor took a peek to see Yuuri’s blushing face, from his ears to his neck, and drool dripping down his chin. Tears were in his eyes, pooling over, and his tongue was sticking out between his fingers as he cried in pleasure while Viktor played with his nipples. He was surprised. Yuuri really won’t bite him, will he? How cute. It made Viktor want to stay like this more to hear his moans. He went and bit his nipples, just a little too hard, so he could hear his voice cry.   
Yuuri couldn’t take it any more. His senses were overwhelmed. His free hand jumped and desperately grabbed Viktor’s wrist. He was shaking so bad he could barely hold onto his hand. He pulled the fingers out of his mouth and turned his head to the side, panting and gasping for air as drool dripped down his chin. He tried to beg him to stop. Please. No more. But his throat was dry and his voice raw.   
“What? Is it hard to keep your voice down like that? Well then, I guess there’s no helping it,” Viktor giggled as he kissed him, his tongue scraping against his teeth and tasting the sweetness of Yuuri’s mouth, probably from his sports drink. “Let me hear my Yuuri scream.”   
Viktor quickly slid Yuuri’s sweatpants off and undid his own pants. He pulled out the vaseline he keeps for chapped lips and scooped a generous amount into his palm. He licked and drooled on Yuuri’s tip while sliding a finger inside, making sure to be generous with the lube. It was too much for Yuuri. He was shaking and crying. His moans and gasps escaped his lips unfiltered. A shaky arm covered his face while the other grasped at thin air.  
Two fingers in, three. Viktor was licking and sucking the entire time, listening to his lover’s reaction. His own pants were burning and twitching, begging to be used. Four fingers in, twisting, listening to his cries of pleasure, watching him squirm. Yuuri was his. Yuuri was only his.   
He released his twitching member dripping with sweet pre-cum and pulled his fingers out. Yuuri gave out a gasp at the sudden empty feeling and sighed. Was it finally over? He pulled his arm away slightly to look at Viktor positioning himself. Yuuri felt something hot and twitching trying to enter. He covered his face and yelped at the pain. It hurt. It stung. It felt like he was being ripped in two. The tears freely flowed, his cried unfiltered.   
Viktor’s hand was in his hair, gently stroking. His lips were against his ear. His hot breath tingling and burning. He was whispering. What was he saying? Yuuri couldn’t focus. It was too much. It was all too much. The pain, the sickness, the heat, the sex. He couldn’t. He can’t. What was he saying? It hurt too much.   
“...rry. I’m….tight...relax...n’t cry...I kno….urts...bear with….ttle more…” What was he saying? He couldn’t hear right. He couldn’t focus. The pain. The fire. It was burning inside him. Everything was blurry. He couldn’t see past the tears. Viktor was moving. Faster, deeper. He was stroking his hair, whispering in his ears, kissing his cheeks and neck. Faster, deeper. Burning. Tearing him in two. It hurt. He was whispering in his ear. What was he saying? Focus. Focus. On anything but the pain. It hurt. Faster. What was he saying? What was he whispering?   
“Yuuri,” Viktor cried out. His head was hazy, he couldn’t see straight, the pain was unbearable, but hearing Viktor cry out his name brought him back to reality. He pulled his arm away and looked into Viktor’s eyes as he was panting and sweating. He was moving faster and faster, his face tensing up, his grip tightening in his hair. Yuuri could only cry as he watched and listened. “I love you, Yuuri!” Viktor cried out with a shuddering gasp as he pulled out, cumming all over Yuuri’s stomach and chest.   
Both of them were panting, barely able to breathe. Viktor stood up to grab something to clean Yuuri’s chest with, and Yuuri only lied there, tears dripping down his face in shock at the events which just unfolded. What had just happened? What did they just do? Why was Viktor upset with him? What did he do?   
After Viktor cleaned him up, he lied down next to him, curling the younger man into his chest, hugging him tightly and kissing his hair. Yuuri’s whole body was shaking as he pressed against Viktor’s bare chest, silent tears still cascading down his face.   
“I love you, Yuuri. I love you so much. You’re mine, and don’t you ever forget that,” Viktor whispered as he gently stroked his hair. He gently squeezed Yuuri as he shook and cried into his chest. One hand stroked his hair as the other stroked his back, and he whispered “I love you” over and over into his hair with gentle kisses.   
“Vi-Viktor,” Yuuri gasp out between sobs. “W-Why?” Viktor only smiled at the ridiculous question. Why? Of course, there was only one reason why.   
“So you know exactly whom you belong to, my love,” he placed a gently kiss on his head as he continued to stroke his hair and coddling his shaking body. Yuuri could only cry.   
He had never been so scared in his life.


	12. When We Lay Together on the Fresh Spring Grass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make up for the out of character last two chapters...I feel bad. So here is pure, unadulterated fluff.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: T for implied sex. It basically K though  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: Fluff and puppy kisses

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 12: When We Lay Together on the Fresh Spring Grass

“Yuuri! Look! There’s a stream over here!” Viktor was ecstatically screaming as he chased after Makkachin. Yuuri smiled as he watched his husband running around the valley park like a child and giggled. It was hard to believe this Russian man-child was four years older than himself. He slowly walked behind looking for a nice spot to lay out their blanket.   
It was the middle of Spring and Viktor had been begging for weeks to go on a picnic. He had never gone on one before, so when he saw a picture of Yuuri and his family on one, he could not stop talking about it. So Yuuri did what any good husband would do: He surprised Viktor with a full picnic basket and a rented car.   
It was only an hour drive to the little valley flat where Yuuri use to picnic with his family when he was younger. It was a nice flat, grassy area filled with flowers at the base of the mountain. Viktor had already discovered the little stream Yuuri used to play in as a child, and Makkachin was tail deep into a bed of wild flowers he used to collect in bouquets with his sister for his mother. He smiled as he laid out the blanket reminiscing.   
“Yuuri~ Look!” Viktor was running towards him holding a small bundle of yellow flowers. “Aren’t they pretty?” His smile was so pure, like a child’s. Yuuri couldn’t help himself, he was so lucky to have such an adorable husband. He placed on hand on Viktor’s arm and stole a light kiss on his lips.   
“This was a great idea, Vitya,” Yuuri smiled and watched as Viktor’s face flushed up. It wasn’t often he kissed Viktor, the thought still embarrassed him, but whenever he did, he could not stop staring as Viktor blushed, a rare sight. Then he’d bashfully smile and jump into Yuuri’s arms, whether he was ready to catch him or not. Usually, the older man would end up on top on Yuuri squeeing his name as they laughed, which is what happened right now.   
“Again! Kiss me again! Yuuri~” Viktor puckered up his lips as he hovered over his husband. His eyes were closed, and he was so cute waiting expectantly like this. Yuuri’s heart skipped a beat as he smiled and wrapped his arms around his neck. As he leaned up, he felt a fluffy mass topple over him. Shocked, he laid there as Makkachin was now on top of his husband stealing the kiss he was about to give Viktor.   
“Makkachin!” Yuuri laughed out as he rolled over to hug the poodle. “What are you doing, you silly dog?” He was petting his head getting his own share of kisses while Viktor grabbed a napkin to wipe his face.   
“Yuuriiii~ He licked my tongue,” Viktor was whining as he spat out the dog slobber. “Ugh, Makkachin! That kiss was supposed to be Yuuri’s!” The dog only blankly stared at him as he happily wagged his tail.   
“Don’t worry, Vitya. You’ll have plenty of kisses later,” Yuuri laughed as he started to unpack the picnic basket. He laid out tupperware of freshly cut fruit, little sandwiches, a salad, and some sparkling juice.   
“Wow~ It looks amazing, Yuuri!” Viktor’s eyes were sparkling as he looked over the food.   
“I’m glad you like it. And I’m really glad you suggested this,” he smiled and interlaced his fingers with his husband’s. The two of them laughed as they ate and idly watched Makkachin chase a butterfly through the flowerbeds. Viktor soon joined his pet running through the flowers and jumping over the little stream. Eventually, Yuuri even joined in the play. He couldn’t help it when his husband was being cute like that.   
Yuuri brought along a tennis ball and the two of them were playing fetch with Makkachin. Half the time, he’d bring back a stick instead of the ball, so Viktor was the designated ball retriever while Makkachin chewed on the stick. Yuuri couldn’t stop laughing at the site of his husband crawling through flowers looking for the green ball. He eventually went over and helped him look.   
“Ah, found it!” Yuuri held up the ball and Viktor happily clapped before jumping on him. He wrapped his arms around his neck, and the two rolled around in the flowers laughing like children. Viktor ended up on top of Yuuri, and rested his head on his chest while the younger man idly stroked his hair and watched the clouds float by.   
“Hey, Yuuri?”  
“Hm?”  
“I love you so much,” he whispered as he tightened his grip around his slender body. Yuuri smiled as he wrapped both hands around his shoulders.   
“I love you, too, Vitya. I always have, and I always will,” Viktor looked up at him after he said this. He slowly leaned up to give Yuuri a kiss, only to feel something very wide and wet slurp up his face, from his chin to his forehead.   
“Ouhghehbleh, Makkachin!” Viktor sat up as he cried out. Drool dripped down his face, and his husband rolled over uncontrollably laughing at the site. Makkachin quickly ran off, barking at his master. “Makkachin! Come back here, you!”  
Yuuri laid there laughing and watching his husband chase after his dog. He was running in circles and tripping over the grass. How could someone so perfect on ice get tangled up in six inch grass? He giggled at the thought as he slowly started to pack up their now empty tupperware. The sun was already starting to lower in the sky. How long had they been there idly goofing off? He made a mental note to plan another picnicn soon. He started to fold up their blanket and pulled out a treat for Makkachin before whistling to call over his two pets. He giggled as he watched the two of them race towards him.   
“It’s getting late, you two. We should start our drive home,” Yuuri said as he lifted up the basket. The only reply he got was two whines and four sad eyes staring at him. He sighed, completely expecting this. He pulled the bone he was hiding behind his back and waved it around for Makkachin. “Want the bone? Want the bone? Come on, boy! Let’s get in the car!” Makkachin hurriedly jumped in the backseat of the car, and Yuuri tossed the bone to him. He happily barked and started to gnaw on the treat.   
“Heeey! That’s no fair, Yuuri!” Viktor pouted as Yuuri started to place the picnic basket in the backseat of the car with Makkachin. “Using a bone to get my dog to betray me like this. I’m hurt~” Yuuri just laughed as he walked towards the taller man. He wrapped his arms around his neck and gave him a kiss on his pouty lips before leaning up on his tiptoes to whisper in his ear.   
“Makkachin gets his bone now, but you’ll get your bone once we get home, Vitya,” Yuuri licked his husband’s ear before hurriedly rushing to the car. He hid his blushing face trying to still his heart so he could drive.   
Viktor could only stare at the back of his lover as he ran off. How could one man be so sexy and so adorable at the same time? This should be illegal.   
He smiled as the ran towards the car, excited for his treat at home.


	13. In A Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suicide Letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love YOI not just because of the canon gays and healthy relationships, but also the way they portray anxiety with Yuuri. I hope you’ll still be able to enjoy this chapter somewhat despite the angst and suicide letter.  
> Side note: For anyone suffering out there, do not be afraid to PM me here, FFN, Tumblr, or LINE. All of them are the same Demonqueen21 username. Even if you just want to vent or talk or chill, even if you think it’s stupid or silly. I’ve been there myself. So please, reach out to someone, a friend, family, or even a stranger like me, before you attempt anything. I cannot stress this enough. I read every review. I read every PM. I will read whatever you want to talk about, even if it's not related to YOI or suicide. So please. Don’t be afraid to message me, especially if you’re feeling like this, even if you're not feeling like this. I will answer.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: T for SUICIDE  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything  
Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING. SUICIDE. THIS IS NOT A HAPPY STORY. I REPEAT, SUICIDE TRIGGER WARNING. (There will be 2 different endings for this, one will be a happy ending next chapter “A Whisper In The Ear” released tomorrow while the second will be a sad alternative ending in chapter 28 “When I Am Dead”)

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 13: In A Letter

“Yuuri~ Guess who’s home early!” Viktor called out as he closed the door to their shared apartment. He had been gone over the weekend to pick up his birth certificate in Russia before finalizing their marriage. He was expecting his fiance to be surprised and hurriedly jumping into his arms, but that was not the case. Confused, he called out his name a few more times while wandering around the kitchen and bedroom. Maybe he went out shopping? It made sense since Viktor wasn’t supposed to be home until tomorrow anyway.  
He sighed and sat on their little couch in the living room. Makkachin walked over and lied his head on the couch between Viktor’s legs. He whined while Viktor pet him.  
“I know, buddy. I miss Yuuri, too. I’m sure he’ll be back soon,” Viktor wrapped his arms around the dog’s fluffy head and stared at a little envelope sitting on the glass table in front of the couch. It had his name shakily written on it. How strange.  
Wait. An envelope?  
Viktor quickly picked his head up and reached for the letter. Looking at the shaky Russian letters which spelt out his name, there was no doubt about it that Yuuri wrote this. Viktor smiled at the child-like lettering and giggled. Yuuri was just too damn cute doing this! He was so lucky~  
He opened the unsealed envelope and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. Even though his name was written in Russian, the letter was written in English. He guessed Yuuri wasn’t confident enough with whatever translator he was using and decided to be safe with just writing in English.  
_To Viktor Nikiforov, the love of my life,_  
Oh jeez, Viktor couldn’t stop smiling already. How unlike Yuuri to do something romantic like this. He wondered what the occasion was?  
_I know you’re probably wondering why I’m not there with you now after your visit home to Russia, and I’m sorry I’m not. I’m sorry for a lot of things. I’m sorry I disappointed you with my Eros at the Grand Prix. I’m sorry I lost the bag of nuts on our date. I’m sorry I’m such a coward that I called our engagement rings a good luck charm. I’m sorry I took you away from skating. I know you said it’s not my fault, but I can’t help but feel responsible for everything. I’m sorry. But most of all, I’m sorry for leaving like this._  
Leaving? The Grand Prix? His skating career? What on Earth had gotten into him? Viktor sighed. He thought he had already gone over all this with Yuuri. He loved him, and none of this mattered. He just wanted to be able to be with Yuuri. He showed Viktor what life and love were again. He wanted Yuuri to feel all the love he felt. Jeez, where did he run off to?  
_I’m a coward. I know. I wouldn’t be doing this if I wasn’t. They say this is the coward’s way out, so it seems fitting for me._  
Wait. The coward’s way out? Viktor’s eyes went wide. No. He couldn’t mean…  
_I’m so sorry, Viktor. I’m just glad the last image of me you’ll have is when I smiled and kissed you goodbye as you flew to Russia. I can’t bear to have you see me like this. And please know this isn’t your fault. If anything, you made me last as long as I did. I was scared and broken before you came along, and even though you couldn’t fix me, you made me feel at ease. No one could fix me, Viktor. So please, don’t blame yourself. This isn’t your fault. This is all on me. This has always been my fault._  
No. No. Nonononono. NO. NO! Yuuri! What was he saying? What was he talking about? The tears were burning at Viktor’s eyes, threatening to spill. He couldn’t-He can’t mean-Where was he? Viktor quickly read through the rest hoping to find a location. If he got there in time, he could stop this. He could save the only person he’d ever truly loved.  
_Nothing you could have done would have changed this outcome. This would have eventually happened. In fact, if you hadn’t showed up at the onsen that day, I wouldn’t be here now._  
No, Yuuri! You have to be here still! You can’t do this!  
_I’m sorry, Viktor. I just can’t go on anymore. I can’t do this anymore. My anxiety, my self-deprecation, my doubts, my depression. I just can’t take it anymore. I’m sorry. And thank you. Thank you for being there with me. Thank you for making my life happy again. Thank you for loving me. I’m going to leave this letter here for you. I’m going to visit the skating rink one last time to calm myself down before going to the ocean and ending all of this. They might not find my body, so I’m leaving my ring in the envelope for you. I hope you find someone who can truly make you happy._  
Viktor flipped the envelope upside-down, and Yuuri’s ring clinked against the table. He quickly grabbed it and put it in his pocket, determined to fucking give it back to his fiance alive. Yuuri, what were you thinking? YOU made Viktor happier than he’s ever been. You were the one, the only one for him. Why would you ever doubt yourself like this? After everything that’s happened, do you not believe Viktor loves you unconditionally? What happened? What set you off like this? Why would you just up and leave him a second time like this? Why? Why?  
_But no matter what happens Viktor, please remember this._  
 _I love you._  
 _I have always loved you, and I will always love you._  
 _Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I love you with all my heart, Viktor Nikiforov. Never forget that._  
 _Goodbye my one and only love,_  
 _Yuuri Katsuki._  
With tears in his eyes, Viktor ran out the door. The ice rink or the ocean? Which should he go to first? Where would he find Yuuri? How long ago was that letter written? Was he already too late? Quickly, think! Decide! The ice rink? Or the ocean? He jumped on his bike and pedaled as fast as his legs would take him.  
Please, wait for me, Yuuri, he begged as tears streamed down his face.


	14. A Whisper In The Ear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is the happy ending to the letter, and next chapter will be happy fluff at an amusement park to make up for it! It’s super cute, I promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for following along, I love this ship and this fandom and this community.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: T for attempted suicide and slight language   
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: Attempted suicide, trigger warning, happy ending

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 14: A Whisper In The Ear

He had to hurry. There was no time to waste. He may already be too late to begin with. No! Push that thought away. The ocean. He had to hurry. He had to get there before Yuuri did something stupid. So stupid! What was he thinking?!  
Viktor was pedaling his bike faster than he’d ever gone before. His legs were screaming in pain, and the world blurred around him. Cars honked as he sped by, but it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was whether he made the right choice. Whether he’d get there in time. Whether he’d be able to hold Yuuri and tell him he loved him. Please, faster. Yuuri needs him. Please. Don’t be stupid, Yuuri.   
Please, wait for me, Yuuri, he begged over and over again as he pedaled faster and faster. He was panting so hard, his lungs were burning, but he saw it, finally. The pier. The sand. He heard the seagulls idly squawking in the skies. He didn’t even bother chaining his bike up, he just dropped it and ran. Along the pier, along the sand. Where was he? Where was Yuuri? Did he make it on time? Or was he already too late?  
The tears were burning his eyes. Every breath made his lungs burn in pain, and his legs threatened to give away any second now, but not yet. Not until he found Yuuri. The salty tears were cascading down his face. No. No no no no no nonononon. He can’t be gone already. His eyes were burning, his lungs were burning, his legs were screaming, every breath he took hurt, but worst of all, his heart was ripping in two. Any amount of physical pain was nothing compared to his heart. The only person he had ever loved, the one person he held so dearly to himself, was gone? No. No!  
Please...no.   
Viktor collapse in the sand, desperately looking around through blurry tears. Was he already too late? Was his one chance at true love gone forever this time?   
“Please...no,” Viktor whimpered out, tears freely flowing down his face and neck. His shirt collar was already soaked in his tears. “YUURIIIIIIIIII!” He cried. He couldn’t hold back. He missed him. Yuuri was gone. Forever this time.   
He held his head in his hands as he sobbed. Not even two days ago he was standing right there in front of him calling his name. He had the widest smile on his face and gave him a hug and a kiss. He nuzzled into his neck and said his name before seeing him off to the airport.   
“Viktor?” Just like that. He could still hear his voice.   
Wait.  
Viktor’s head shot up, and through the tears, he saw his blurry fiance standing there in the sand. He was just behind the supports for the pier, which is why Viktor couldn’t find him earlier. It didn’t matter though, he was up running. His legs were aching, his breath was shaking, but he was running towards the man he loved. His fiance. His Yuuri. He jumped with his arms wide, and the two of them collapsed in the sand under the pier. Viktor was sobbing uncontrollably against Yuuri’s neck whimpering out “I love you’s” and “Why would you leave me’s” while Yuuri shakily hugged him back, whispering his own “I’m sorry’s.”   
Viktor pulled back and kissed him. His tears were plopping on Yuuri’s cheeks, and his hands were in his soft, sandy hair. He held his head against his and cried. Yuuri was crying, too. He wrapped his arms around Viktor back and cried. What the hell was he thinking? Why would he do something like this? He didn’t want to hurt Viktor. He loved him. What the hell was he about to do?  
They laid there crying and crying and hugging and crying. They lost track of time, but it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter how long they laid there, it didn’t matter that the sun was beginning to set, it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. The only thing that mattered was Yuuri was in Viktor’s arms breathing. Alive. Yuuri was still alive. Viktor placed a gentle kiss on his cheek and shakily whispered in his ear.  
“I love you. Please, don’t ever do something like this again. I love you. I love you so damn much, so, please...please, Yuuri. I love you, so...please, just...just stay with me. Stay close to me. Don’t ever leave me. I love you,” the tears came back, dripping into the sand. Yuuri wrapped his arms around Viktor’s neck and kissed his cheek, tasting the salty tears.   
“I’m sorry, Viktor. I’m so, so sorry. Let’s go home, okay?” Yuuri stroked his silver hair as his own tears made their way down his face. He was an idiot.  
The two walked home in silence. Viktor held on tightly to Yuuri’s hand, scared that if he let go, he’d find out this wasn’t real, and he’d lose Yuuri all over again. Every time he stole a glance at his fiance, he saw him looking away. His eyes were red and puffy. He’d been crying a lot longer than just today at the ocean. How long had he been suffering alone like this? Why wouldn’t he tell him? His heart was crying out for Yuuri, and he squeezed his warm fingers. Yuuri squeezed back, but still never looked his way.   
That was fine. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was he was here, still alive, with Viktor.  
When they got home, Makkachin excitedly barked and ran towards Yuuri. He propped his front paws on his thigh and wagged his tail. Yuuri crouched down and hugged the fluffy poodle. Viktor said nothing as he watched. He didn’t know what he should do, or say. Should he ask about what happened? Or would that make him want to do it again? Should he suggest psychiatric help? Or would that make things worse? Culturally, Asians don’t even believe in mental illnesses. Would it be offensive to suggest seeking help? Would there even be good professional help here? Should they go to America to treat him? Does he even want treatment?  
“Viktor,” Yuuri mumbled into Makkachin’s fur, never letting go of the dog and never looking up.   
“Yes?” he replied. Should he have said more than just that? Is it insensitive? Was it too blunt? Does he sound like he doesn’t care? Should he have asked “What is it” instead? Does that sound more caring? Or is there a Japanese cultural saying he was supposed to say now?  
“Don’t overthink things,” he mumbled into Makkachin’s fur again. Still never letting go of the dog and never looking up. “Just smile and pretend this never happened, okay?”  
Well, Viktor was not expecting that. Pretend this never happened? Was he serious? After everything that happened, he was just supposed to brush it off and pretend it never happened? Fuck that.   
“No,” he said. That single word finally made Yuuri look up at him. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy and wide with shock at Viktor’s blunt reply.   
“What?” was all he could muster as a reply.   
“No. That’s not okay. I almost lost the love of my life, my fiance, to suicide, and now you want me to just pretend it never happened? Like hell I will.”  
“Viktor, I-”  
“I love you! You don’t understand! When I read that letter my heart stopped. You were leaving me a second time. You were abandoning me. You were throwing all my love for you away! Has everything I done for you meant nothing?! I ran to you as fast as I could begging, BEGGING that I’d make it in time to stop you, to hold you, to tell you how much you mean to me so you’d never do something so stupid like this again, and you want me to pretend none of this ever happened?!” Viktor was screaming. How did this happen? He shouldn’t be yelling at Yuuri right now, he’s fragile. Now more than ever. He was just on his breaking point, and yet, Viktor couldn’t stop yelling. His body was shaking and the tears just kept flowing. He dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around his fiance and his dog sobbing uncontrollably into hair and fur. “I love you so much. I can’t pretend this never happened because it did. It did, and I was fucking terrified. I thought I was going to lose you, again. I love you, Yuuri.”  
Yuuri could only nuzzle into Viktor’s hair as his own guilty tears poured out.   
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so stupid, I’m sorry. I love you. I love you so much. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I’m sorry,” he was crying. He wrapped one of his arms around Viktor’s back and gently stroked him as his tears made a wet, silver matte against his face. He nuzzled against the wet hair and kissed him gently. “I love you so much,” he whispered.   
“Then why? Why would you try to leave me like that?” Viktor’s voice was quiet, like a scared child’s. It nearly shattered Yuuri’s already broken heart. He guiltily swallowed before carefully selecting his words.   
“I...I don’t know. I’ve always been anxious and easily upsetable. I can be happy one moment and then the slightest thing goes wrong, and I’m a sobbing mess. Th-That’s just...how I’ve always been,” his shaky hand slid up to Viktor’s hair, and he buried his head deeper into those beautiful silver locks. “Some days are better than others. Some days are worse. Recently, they’ve just been getting worse. It has nothing to do with you, it’s all me. I just...I don’t know. I couldn’t help but think ‘things would be better off without you,’ and...and I just...I couldn’t take it anymore, Viktor. I’m sorry, I just...I couldn’t do it anymore,” his shaky voice broke and his body started to shake as he cried into Viktor’s hair.   
Viktor wrapped his arms around the younger man to reposition them, so Yuuri’s head was placed against his neck. He felt the warm tears pool at his collarbone, and he stroked his soft, black hair. His body trembled as he sobbed, and Viktor held him, still crying himself. He turned his head to kiss Yuuri’s cheek and whisper in his ear.   
“It’s okay, Yuuri. It’s okay. You’re here with me now and that’s all that matters. You don’t have to be sorry about anything. Just...Just promise me you’ll never do something like this again. I can’t bear to lose you.” Yuuri nodded his head against Viktor’s shoulder and mumbled an “I promise” between his sobs.   
That’s all Viktor needed. That’s all he wanted. To make sure Yuuri’s okay. To make sure Yuuri knows he’s loved. To make sure Yuuri will never do something like this again. He gently pulled away and held onto Yuuri’s trembling hand. He pulled out the engagement ring hiding in his pocket and slowly slid it back onto his finger. Yuuri gave a weak smile at the sight as tears continued to flow down his cheeks. Viktor kissed the tears away, tasting his salty skin, before hugging him tight, and whispering in his ear once more, just to make sure he won’t forget.   
“I love you so much, Yuuri.”


	15. Loud, So Everyone Can Hear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor gets lost at an amusement park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I had to go back and rewatch the first 3 episodes trying to figure out which form of I Viktor uses. Turns out, he uses 3 different forms depending on who he’s talking to: Kochira for random people/press, boku for Yuuri, and ore for Yurio. So since he’s talking to a random guard, he uses kochira here. Also, please take my translations with a grain of salt. I’m still learning my way around Japanese, so please let me know if there is any issue with them /bows/

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: K  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: Poor Japanese translations

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 15: Loud, So Everyone Can Hear

It had been five hours already. Five hours of running around and screaming. Viktor was ecstatic! He had been begging Yuuri to take him here for months. Yuuri eventually caved, and the two of them set aside this weekend. Viktor’s eyes were shining, and he was squeeing while running around still, even after five hours. His husband, on the other hand, was completely and utterly exhausted. Five hours of running around on Viktor’s whim was exhausting enough, but especially so when they were at an amusement park.   
Viktor made sure they got there right when the gates opened. Yuuri hadn’t been to Tokyo Disney since he was a little kid, and he thought he was a little too old to go to begin with. However, he just couldn’t say no after Viktor told him he’d never been to an amusement park before. His family was never big on amusement parks or fairs, and the way he smiled with those sad eyes while telling that story completely broke Yuuri’s heart. How could he say no after that?  
“Yuuri~ Cotton candy!” Viktor immediately took off running as soon as they stepped foot within the park grounds. He was running from window to window looking at all the sweets and stuffed animals. Yuuri couldn’t help but laugh at this Russian man-child.   
“Oi! Vitya! Don’t run off like that!” Yuuri quickly chased after him grabbing his hand. Viktor looked at him surprised while Yuuri blushed looking at their hands. “I d-don’t want to lose you in the crowd,” he mumbled while avoiding eye contact. Viktor smiled and interlaced their fingers.   
“Yuuri, we’re married, you know? You don’t have to be embarrassed about holding hands,” Viktor slowly took their hands and placed a gentle kiss on his husband’s ring. Yuuri could only blush as he looked away, still flustered over their new romance. How cute~  
“I-I know that. Come on, which ride do you want to go on first?” Yuuri slowly led the way still awkwardly holding his husband’s hand while they made their way further into the park. Viktor couldn’t stop smiling.  
But that was five hours ago.   
Now, Viktor couldn’t find Yuuri. Somehow they had gotten separated in the crowd when they took a lunch break. Where did he go? Where was Viktor now even? Yuuri had the map with him since he was in charge of directions. A cold sweat quickly broke over Viktor. What if he never saw his husband again? They only recently got married! He hasn’t spent enough time with him! He was too young to be a widow!  
“Yuuri! Yuuri!” Viktor went off, running and screaming for his husband. He retraced their steps, he went back to where they ate lunch, he past by all the rides they had been on screaming his name. How could he have lost Yuuri?  
“Sumimasen! Sakebanaide kudasai,” one of the security guards stepped in front of Viktor halting his progress. Viktor was nowhere near fluent in Japanese yet, but he knew enough phrases to get around. He even set his phone language to Japanese to help himself learn, but “sakebanaide” was not a phrase he recognized. Viktor was still panicking, so thinking his translation through was hard.   
“Suk-no. Um. Tasukete!” That meant ‘help,’ right? Viktor thought so at least with the guard’s calm smile, like he was consoling a child. “Um...Kochira...m-miru otto,” shit, that’s not right at all. It should be decent enough that the guard can understand though.  
“Anata no otto? Sodesu ka,” the guard pulls out a radio from his pocket and begins calling in something over it. He speaks too fast for Viktor to fully understand it, but he hears ‘ginpatsu no gaijin,’ so he figures he asked if anyone was looking for a ‘silver haired foreigner.’ Anxious, Viktor smiles a bit knowing if they’re separated, Yuuri would be looking for him, too. The guard speaks back and forth a little bit over the radio before turning back to Viktor.  
“Kare wa tochuu ni iru,” the guard smiles while Viktor just stands there trying to calm down enough to translate that. ‘Kare’ means ‘he/him,’ so that must be Yuuri, right? Calm down. Think. Just breathe and figure it out. The guard stands with him waiting, that must mean Yuuri’s coming, right? If Viktor just waits, his husband will come. Right? Five minutes pass. Then ten. Viktor looks at the guard. He is supposed to wait here, right? Or was the guard telling him to go someplace?  
“Vitya!” he heard it. The sweetest sound in the world. His name coming from the lips of an angel. Viktor turns to see Yuuri waving at him as he’s running towards him. Viktor is so happy he could cry as he runs towards his husband screaming his name.   
“Yuuri! Yuuri, I love you!” He screams out loud. Heads turn to stare in shock at the sudden outburst. He engulfed the shorter man in his arms and nuzzled his head in his fluffy hair. “You can’t do this to me! I was so worried! Don’t wander off like that, you scared me! I love you, Yuuri. I love you,” he squeezed his husband tighter as people started to point at them. Yuuri pulls back with a blush, now very conscious of everyone around them.   
“Vitya, what are you talking about? You’re the one who ran off suddenly,” Yuuri pouted as he confusingly looked up at those gorgeous blue eyes.   
“What? I did no such thing! You were there one second and then you were gone! I ran around everywhere looking for you.”  
“I told you I was going to the bathroom after we finished eating, and five minutes later you were gone!” Yuuri pouted. “I swear, you have the memory of a goldfish,” he laughed and hugged the older man tight. Viktor gave a sheepish smile as he stroked his hair.   
“Oh...I’m sorry, Yuuri,” Viktor mumbles as a small blush dances upon his cheeks. Yuuri looks up and smiles at the sight. It’s rare for Viktor to get embarrassed over something like this. He must have been really worried. Yuuri leans up on his toes and places a gentle kiss on his lips. Shocked, Viktor can only stare. Yuuri usually hated doing things in public because he always gets so flustered over it, so why now?  
“You don’t have to worry, Vitya. I’m here now, okay?” he awkwardly smiles with a bright pink face as he lets go of Viktor. He grabs his hand and starts walking away, pulling Viktor with him. “Come on, we still have the ferris wheel to ride.” Overwhelmed with happiness, Viktor squeezes his hand and smiles the biggest grin he’s ever had. He really is so lucky to have met Yuuri.   
“Yes! Let’s ride it to the top!”

 

Translation Note: Sumimasen! Sakebanaide kudasai= Excuse me! Please don’t yell.  
Kochira miru otto= I to look husband (Viktor doesn’t know the proper grammar structure, but he gets the point across)  
Anato no otto? Sodesu ka= Your husband? I see.   
Kare wa tochuu ni iru= He is on his way


	16. Over and Over Again, Until It’s Nothing but A Senseless Babble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don’t tell me this isn’t what happened after Ep 8.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: M for sex   
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: Slight Ep 8 spoilers regarding Makkachin

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 16: Over and Over Again, Until It’s Nothing but A Senseless Babble

“Viktor! Why are you packing? Just hurry up and go, I can get all your stuff when I fly back,” Yuuri was rushing his coach. He knew exactly how it felt when Vicchan died, and he wanted Viktor to be with Makkachan up until the end. Viktor had been silent ever since Yuuri told him about his precious dog stealing the steamed buns, he was probably worried out of his mind. Jeez, Viktor, why aren’t you running out of here?! “Come on! You have to hurry.”  
Viktor wraps his arms around Yuuri’s slender shoulders and nuzzles his head in his neck. Yuuri can feel his hands slightly quivering behind his head. He wraps his own arms around Viktor’s hunched shoulders and strokes his hair.  
“It’s okay, Viktor. It’ll be okay,” he whispers giving him a squeeze.   
“But...But what if it isn’t?” Viktor’s voice was soft and shaking. His shoulders were trembling ever so slightly, and Yuuri could feel his shirt start to stick to his shoulder.   
“If it’s not…” Yuuri thought for a moment. What was the one thing he wanted to hear when Vicchan died? What would make him feel better? “If it’s not, you’ll still have me.” He gave Viktor a squeeze and nuzzled next to his ear, speaking slowly and softly. “I know I’m not as good as Makkachin, but you’ll always have me, Viktor. I love you.”  
And with those three, quiet words, Viktor broke. Whether it was from fear for Makkachin or happiness from Yuuri, neither one of them knew. All they knew was Viktor was crying. He was sobbing uncontrollably, and Yuuri was holding him tightly the entire time. His head was buried in Yuuri’s wet shoulder with his fingers in his hair.  
“I love you, Yuuri. I love you. I love you so much, I love you,” Viktor was mumbling into his lover’s neck. His arms were tightly wrapped around Yuuri’s back and his whole body was shaking with his sobs. His throat was dry, and he couldn’t breathe. He choked out every “I love you” between his sobs. “I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you,” he sobbed, choking, gasping for air. Yuuri held him tightly listening to each word until he couldn’t differentiate the sobs from the confessions.   
They stayed like that until the tears wouldn’t come anymore. Viktor’s plane had long since left, but Yuuri was no longer rushing him. He simply held him while he shook, and listened to his senseless babble. Eventually, Viktor pulled back from his arms, eyes red and dry. Yuuri cupped his face and smiled.   
“First plane in the morning, all right? I’ll take care of the tickets for you,” Viktor nodded looking into Yuuri’s chocolate eyes. Yuuri gave a soft smile, and Viktor couldn’t hold back. He leaned in and kissed Yuuri. His tongue slipped in-between those soft lips and the two of them toppled over onto the bed.  
“Yuuri, I love you,” he mumbled as he slid his hands in Yuuri’s hair. Yuuri, usually a blushing, awkward mess, was uncanningly calm and composed right now. He knew Viktor needed him to be strong now, so he held him and kissed him back. His own hands stroking through those silver locks.   
“I love you, too, Viktor.” He felt Viktor’s lips move down to his neck, desperately kissing, begging to touch every inch of his flesh. His hot breath tickled his neck making him gasp a bit. Viktor loved that sound.   
Viktor slid his hands underneath Yuuri’s shirt, his cold fingers making him gasp again. Yuuri tightened his grip in Viktor’s hair for just a second, before relaxing again. He tilted his head a little to kiss Viktor’s forehead before Viktor pulled back.  
“Don’t worry, you can pull my hair if you want to,” Viktor gives a sly smile before going back to suck on his neck. Yuuri couldn’t help but blush at his words, and he unconsciously gripped his hair after Viktor bit a little too hard. Viktor was the one to moan out at the feeling though. His bloodshot eyes glistened as he watched Yuuri’s pink face grow red.   
Viktor slid the shirt up to his neck and went to lick his nipples. Those sweet cries as he tugged at his hair only made Viktor want more. He slid the shirt off and wrapped his arms around his back, kissing and sucking his bare chest. Yuuri was panting and blushing and both hands were tangled in Viktor’s hair as he cried out his name. He wanted more. They both wanted more.   
Yuuri gripped at the back of Viktor’s shirt and pulled it up. The older man let go and stripped his shirt off before laying down in the bed. He opened up his arms waiting for Yuuri to lay on top of him, which he quickly did. They were kissing and touching every inch of exposed flesh of each other, exploring their new territory. Yuuri went down on Viktor, clumsily unbuttoning his pants as Viktor watched. His hands were shaking as he licked his lips before taking him in.   
Viktor gasped at the feeling. Yuuri’s mouth was wet and warm. His tongue slid underneath and flicked at the tip. His hand immediately flew into Yuuri’s hair, quickly tugging at it as his hips started to rock, begging for more. He looked down to see those glistening eyes staring up at him as his head bobbed up and down. It was too much.  
“Yuuri, please. I love you. I love you so much, Yuuri. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you,” Viktor moaned over and over again. His hand guiding Yuuri’s head as he clumsily licked and sucked. Viktor could tell this was his first time doing something like this, but he didn’t care. He loved Yuuri. Doing something like this with someone you loved felt ten- no, a hundred times better than a hollow hook up. Viktor was panting and gasping, his throat still dry from his earlier sobs, but he watched Yuuri’s eyes the entire time.   
“I love you. Yuuri, I love you. I love you. I love you,” Yuuri listened to Viktor’s cries over and over again. It was like a beautiful record stuck on repeat. He looked up seeing Viktor’s blushing face, something he’d never seen before, and something he absolutely loved. He moved his head faster, his tongue flicking the underside making Viktor moan out. His drool was dripping down his chin, but that didn’t matter. He just wanted Viktor to feel good. He wanted to see his face blushing and crying his name. He wanted to watch as his lover came because of him.   
Viktor’s grip in his hair tightened and his hips were bucking harder. Yuuri had to concentrate not to choke on him as his hips went wild. One hand went to cover his face as he cried out Yuuri’s name before cumming deep in his throat. Yuuri wasn’t prepared for that at all. He pulled back gagging with a hand over his mouth to catch anything that happened to drip out. Viktor quickly sat up and pushed his bangs back so Yuuri could see.   
“Oh God! Yuuri! I’m so so so sorry! I didn’t mean to, it just felt so good. Are you okay?!” Viktor saw tears pooling in his eyes and his hand was cupping his chin as drool and cum dripped down. His face was red, but he was smiling as he swallowed. Viktor felt an arrow shoot right through his heart at the sight. God, he was hot.   
“D-Did it really feel good?” Viktor immediately jump on top of him kissing him. He tasted his own bitterness on his tongue, which only fueled his libido more.  
“Yuuri, take me now. I love you so, so much. Please, take me,” Viktor whispered in his ear. Blushing, Yuuri rolled over on top of Viktor and kissed him again. Viktor smiled as Yuuri made all his wishes come true.   
It was three times until Viktor couldn’t go on anymore. Four times until Yuuri actually stopped. For the rest of the night, however, Viktor nuzzled against Yuuri’s bare chest whispering “I love you” over and over again, until it was nothing more than a senseless babble that Yuuri fell asleep smiling to.


	17. When the Broken Glass Litters the Floor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have cats, so this whole story is a very common theme in my house during the holidays. My poor hand-made ornaments...
> 
> Also, I'm new here, so I don't really know how these tag things work. Can my readers tag my stories for me, or is that something only I can do?

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: K  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: Christmas themed fluff

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 17: When the Broken Glass Litters the Floor

Viktor had been sleeping. After an 18 hour plane trip, he was jet lagged and desperately wanting sleep in his own bed before his birthday tomorrow. Yuuri had decorated their small apartment for Christmas while also throwing up a “Happy Birthday” banner. Viktor smiled at the sight and then immediately went to bed. He hoped he hadn’t upset his husband too much, but Jesus Fucking Christ he was tired. He forgot just how exhausting skating was, especially when you fly across the world, stay for a night, skate the next morning, win gold, and then fly home that night. How the hell did he do this for the past eleven years?   
“AAAHHHHHH!” CRASH! BANG! CLATTER! SHATTER! BANG!  
What in the hell was that!? Viktor shot up out of bed running towards the living area. He saw their gorgeously decorated tree now lying upon his husband as Makkachin happily wagged his tail sitting on top of both of them. Yuuri’s glasses were crookedly on his face and ribbon was covering his mouth as he spat it out.  
“Careful Vitya! Watch for glass! Some of the ornaments shattered. Grab Makkachin so he doesn’t step on any glass,” Viktor just blankly nodded as he carefully stepped around some half ornaments and pine needles. He lifted the fluffy poodle up and carried him to their bedroom, locking him inside so he wouldn’t get in the way or step on any of the glass before looking for a broom and dustpan.   
When he finally pulled one out of the closet, he returned to see Yuuri propping the tree back up in its stand. About a third of the ornaments fell off while the ribbon was half on. Yuuri carefully picked up the star and placed it back on top before noticing Viktor.  
“Oh, thanks. Sorry about that. I wasn’t watching Makkachin close enough, and he tried to jump up to get the ribbon,” he awkwardly ran his hand through his hair giving a hesitant laugh. “I can clean up the glass, you go on ahead back to bed. I know you’re tired after your skating and flight.”   
“No, I’ll help. I’d feel bad if you ended up getting cut while I was sleeping,” Viktor gave a smile as he started to sweep up the shards of glass. Yuuri smiled as he reached for the larger ornament fractions that he could safely pick up. He went and grabbed the trashcan to bring over so they wouldn’t spread glass anywhere. When he got back, Viktor was kneeling with one of the broken ornaments in his hands.  
“What’s wrong, Vitya?” Yuuri walked over placing a hand on his shoulders to see what he was holding. It was a small, glass ball with the top broken off. Inside was a small, rolled up piece of paper with a gold ribbon tying it shut. Viktor had pulled the paper out to read what it said. Yuuri immediately recognized it.  
“Yuuri, what does this say?”  
“AH! NO! I mean- I don’t know!” he reached for the paper that his husband held just out of his reach.   
“You don’t know? But it’s written in Japanese. Do you not know how to read your own language? Hmm~” Viktor teased as Yuuri desperately tried to grab the paper.   
“Come on, Vitya. This isn’t funny.”   
“Of course not. Your handwriting is terrible! Hey, watch for the glass,” Viktor grabbed Yuuri’s hand before he was about to rest it on a quarter of an ornament. Yuuri blushed hard.  
“It was from middle school, give me a break!” Yuuri cried out.  
“Oh? So you can read it~” Viktor smiled as he intertwined their fingers. Yuuri gasped as he realized his mistake. Oh God, this was so embarrassing. He looked away from his husband with a very red face. “So what does it say?”  
“It...was an art project. We were supposed to write down who we wanted to spend Christmas with and what we wanted to do with them,” he was blushing furiously as Viktor smiled. His husband was just too cute.  
“So what did you write? Who did little Yuuri want to spend Christmas with? Read it to me!” Viktor showed him the paper with the biggest smile on his face. He knew his husband couldn’t say no to him. The blush spreading to his ears made that very clear.  
“It...It says, ‘If I could spend Christmas with anyone, I’d spend it with...V-Viktor Nikiforov...and...we would go ice skating together. I would...would give him a stuffed poodle for...his birthday...and we would...eat lots of cake...together.’” Viktor watched carefully as Yuuri’s blush spread from his cheeks to his ears all the way to his neck. His body was trembling slightly, completely embarrassed from reading his childhood dreams to his now husband. Viktor couldn’t help but chuckle at just how damn cute his husband was. “Hey! Don’t laugh! This is embarrassing enough,” Yuuri hid his face in his hands.   
Viktor carefully slid his hands around Yuuri’s slender body and cradled him against his chest. He stroked his soft hair that was slowly growing longer each day, and he gently kissed his forehead before nuzzling against his hair.   
“I love you, Yuuri. Tomorrow, I’ll make sure we can eat all the cake you want together, okay? I love you, so much,” Viktor spoke softly as he held his husband close. His warmth felt nice against his chest and was very much missed while he was away.   
“Y...Yeah,” Yuuri mumbled, relaxing in his arms. They stayed there for a little while before Yuuri stood up to finish cleaning the glass. Viktor helped and eventually, everything was cleaned up. No more glass, no more broken ornaments, and the ribbon was perfectly wrapped around the tree again. Viktor sighed a happy sigh, finally able to go to bed again, but this time, with his husband.  
“Come on, Yuuri. It’s late, let’s go to bed now,” Viktor wrapped an arm around the shorter man’s shoulder and started to walk. Yuuri stopped for a second making Viktor turn towards him. “Hm? What’s wrong?”  
“Um...It’s after 12, so...Happy Birthday, Vitya,” Yuuri smiled with a soft blush as he quickly leaned up to give his husband a gentle kiss. “I love you.” Viktor smiled and eagerly hugged him back.  
“Merry Christmas, Yuuri,” he replied. Yuuri hugged him back, and Viktor never wanted him to let go. This really was the best birthday he could have wished for.  
“Let’s go to bed, okay? I’m sure you’re exhausted,” Yuuri laughed as he held Viktor’s hand walking towards their shared bedroom.  
“Hey, Yuuri? I get to open my presents when we wake up, right?”  
“Of course. I have some for your birthday and for Christmas, so you have plenty.”  
“Is one of them a stuffed poodle?” Viktor giggled at his husband’s embarrassed expression with a heavy blush. How could one man be so sexy and so adorable? He really was so lucky to have married him.  
“Viktor!”


	18. From Very Far Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor's travelling and calls Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I looked up the calendar for the 2016-2017 Skating season and used those dates as the next season for this chapter. Skate America was first then Skate Canada and then the Rostelecom Cup. For anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, please watch Evgenia Medvedeva’s SP at the Russian Nationals. One of her fans gave her an adorable Viktuuri figurine holding a sign cheering for her in Russian and Japanese. She’s adorable and is a huge YOI fan and posts all about it over twitter.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: K  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: It’s very short and mainly dialog, since it’s a phone call. 

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 18: From Very Far Away

“I don’t understand why you wouldn’t let me attend Skate Canada with you,” Yuuri whined into his cellphone. Viktor was attending Skate Canada as a competitor while Yuuri was left behind in St. Petersburg to practice.   
“I told you already, you need to perfect your program before the Rostelecom Cup. We’re both competing in that one together with Yurio, and I want my husband to be able to take silver.”  
“Silver? What about gold?”  
“Well, Yuuri. You’re competing against me. After Skate America, do you really think you can steal gold from me?” Viktor teased him.   
“Hey! I got silver at Skate America! I’ll be stealing gold from under your nose if you don’t take me seriously!” Yuuri complained. Sure, he only got silver, but his score wasn’t too far off from his husband’s. Yuuri was sure the Rostelecom Cup was his. Viktor laughed making Yuuri smile.  
“But Yuuri, the gold has always been mine.”  
“The only gold you’ll be taking home is your ring.”  
“Wow! Yuuri, you’re so good at encouraging your husband before his big performance! I think I may just cry~” Viktor whined into his phone. He just couldn’t help himself. He had to tease this adorable man.   
“Wha-Really? Tha-I didn’t-Vitya!” Yuuri didn’t know whether he was being serious or not. Viktor was very good at making his voice go from happy to teary within seconds, and even after over a year together, Yuuri couldn’t tell. “That’s not fair.”  
“What’s not fair? I can’t tease my adorable husband~” he was giggling like a child. Yuuri was pouting.   
“No!”  
“Aw, why not?” Viktor was laughing. That sweet sound almost made Yuuri forgive him. Almost.   
“Because! I have my own career to think about too!”  
“Is your career more important than cheering your husband on?”  
“Well-no. But-”  
“Then wish me luck, and I’ll bring you back something round and golden~” Viktor was speaking in a low voice. God, Yuuri loved the sound of it, but he also hated how easily Viktor won these wars.   
“Davai, Vitya. Happy Birthday, I love you,” he said, a smile creeping upon his lips despite his pouting.   
“Aw! You remembered my birthday! I’m so lucky! I love you, too, Yuuri~” he could almost hear Viktor’s smile over the phone. “I’ll make you proud and win a birthday gold!”  
“And I’ll make you take your first silver.”  
“Aw! You’re so mean to your birthday boy! But sorry, Yuuri. Maybe next year, but I’m winning gold both here and in Russia, too.”  
“Don’t worry, Vitya. I’ll be sure to comfort you after knocking you down a peg,” he kissed his husband goodnight through the phone and hung up before he could hear his reply. Viktor could only sigh and smile. Their conversation had made him fired up for his performance even more.  
No way he was losing gold to him.


	19. With No Space Left Between Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Train ride.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: K+  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: Fluff

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 19: With No Space Left Between Us

The sun had just barely risen in the sky casting reds and oranges across the sky, but Viktor and Yuuri had already been awake for far too long. The young skater was barely standing he was so tired, but Viktor seemed to thrive on the early morning sun.   
“Yuuri! You’re so cute when you’re sleepy like that~” Viktor was rolling a little suitcase behind him while walking next to Yuuri. The shorter man was trying to buckle his backpack in the front while yawning.   
“Ish nawt my fault. The sun isn’t even awake now, why are you so peppy?” He let out another yawn as he continued to walk with Viktor at his side. The two were traveling for a weekend trip to a gymnastics studio to train. Minako’s ballet studio was holding an event for the children, so they needed to relocate for a bit.  
“Well, if the sun isn’t awake, we just have to wake it up!” Viktor threw his hands in the air and smiled. He was too damn cheerful for this early in the morning. People were starting to stare more than they usually do at a silver haired Russian walking in the streets of Japan, but for once, Yuuri was too tired to care. He just shook his head and continued walking through the streets with Viktor following along.   
They entered the building and started to slowly move through the lines. Viktor was pacing in place and looking around impatiently. He was shifting from foot to foot.  
“Viktor, calm down. There’s a lot of people here, don’t bother them,” Yuuri scolded his older companion. He felt more like he was babysitting than travelling with a senior.   
“Ah, sorry. I’m just not use to waiting for trains. They go by a lot faster in Russia, and not nearly as many people this early.”  
“Trains tend to be really crowded in the mornings, everyone is travelling for school and work. Come on, we’re at the gate finally,” Yuuri let out another yawn before scanning his train pass. Viktor followed along and the two squeezed in on a train cart. Viktor was looking for a seat before Yuuri pulled him away. They stood near the front of the cart.  
“Why not grab a seat, Yuuri?” Viktor asked as he instead grabbed one of the hanging handles.  
“The seats are reserved for the elderly or pregnant, Viktor. So unless that silver hair is actually gray or you’re secretly a woman, we’re standing,” Yuuri said slightly irritated. Viktor stood there silently as Yuuri held onto the suitcase to support himself. The handles on either side of Viktor were quickly filled by incoming passengers. The rest of the cart quickly reached the overflowing level as Yuuri was bumped into Viktor’s chest.  
“Ah, careful Yuuri,” Viktor wrapped his free arm around Yuuri’s waist and pulled him close. “Here, hold on to me since there isn’t a strap for you.” Yuuri’s face flushed up as he rested one hand on the taller man’s chest with the other one tightly gripping the suitcase next to them. This is normal, right? The train was packed full. No one would think twice about holding onto someone else. This is fine.  
Their train ride would be a good three hour trip, but if Yuuri was pressed up against him like this, Viktor didn’t mind one bit. The train was mainly silent besides the clickity-clacks of the railing or the idle cough. Viktor looked down at Yuuri’s red face, who was turned away.   
The first stop came and some people left while others got on. The cart was still just as crowded as before. Next stop a few more got off than those who came on. Next stop more got off. The cart was thinning out, and Yuuri could have easily stood away from Viktor, or even grab onto one of the straps instead of his shirt, but Viktor held on tightly, and Yuuri didn’t oppose. By the fifth stop, their cart was just over half full, but Viktor still held on as he stared at Yuuri’s blushing face. Still never looking up, Yuuri whispered a complaint.   
“V-Viktor. I can stand on my own now. There’s no reason for you to hold onto me still,” Viktor could only smile. No reason? His little Yuuri was just too cute. He leaned down so he could whisper in his very red ear.   
“That’s where you’re very wrong, Yuuri. I wasn’t holding you because we were cramped; I was holding you because I love you,” Viktor watched as Yuuri’s red face grew even more red than he thought possible.   
“W-Wh-What are you saying, Viktor? We-We’re in public, be quiet!” Yuuri hid his face in Viktor’s shirt angrily whispering. Viktor chuckled a little and squeezed him closer.   
“That’s why I whispered it, Yuuri. When we get to our hotel room, I’ll be sure to tell you louder~” he mused into a very red ear and smiled. Yuuri wasn’t saying it back to him just yet, but he was sure when they were alone he’d reciprocate. Yuuri slowly slinked his arm around Viktor’s back and tightly gripped his shirt underneath his jacket, so no one would see. That little gesture alone made Viktor grin like an idiot while his heart fluttered.  
He couldn’t wait until they got to their hotel.


	20. As We Huddle Together, The Storm Raging Outside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It snows.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: K+  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: 1300 words of sickeningly sweet fluff

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 20: As We Huddle Together, The Storm Raging Outside

“No good, Vitya. We’re snowed in,” Yuuri sighed as he returned back into the little apartment. He had gone down to the front desk hoping for good news. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like their way would be cleared anytime soon. Yuuri looked out the window only to see a flurry of white through the frosted glass. Viktor smiled from the couch, carefree as always.   
“It’s fine, Yuuri. Yakov called and said it’s just as bad over by his place, too. Seems like Yurio is snowed in, as well,” the silver haired beauty flopped down on the couch opening his arms. His fiancé smiled and went over to kneel by the couch, resting his head on Viktor’s stomach and feeling his arms wrap around him.   
“I wish we could at least go out and build a snowman if practice got cancelled. We’d always build one outside the inn on my rest days,” Yuuri tilted his head as Viktor ran his fingers through the soft black locks. His long fingers felt so nice and calming.  
“Well, then we’ll just have to make sure to make the cutest snowman ever! We can put your glasses on him, and he’d be adorable~” Viktor chuckled. He loved skating with this man, but idly lazing around their home was just as lovely. Viktor could now walk into any room in his once lonely apartment and see life and love and Yuuri’s things. It was truly a home to him now.   
“But Vitya, if the snowman has my glasses, I can’t see,” he draped his arm across Viktor’s stomach and propped up his head to look at his goofy smile. He loved that smile.   
“You seem to skate just fine without them.”  
“That’s because there’s nothing for me to run into besides a wall. I can never see the scores, though.”  
“But the way you lean forward and squint is cute, too!” Viktor placed his hand on Yuuri’s opposite cheek shooting him a lovingly gaze. If this was just a few months ago, Yuuri would be a blushing mess, but instead, he was smiling, happiest he’d ever been, shooting his fiancé that same loving gaze back. He had never felt this way before, and he was glad it was with Viktor.   
A loud pop and a sharp crackle spooked the two lovebirds out of their staring contest and back to reality. Their overhead light flickered off and when Viktor turned to test the lamp, it wouldn’t comply.   
“A blackout?” Yuuri almost whispered. His hand quietly fell on Viktor’s, giving it a light squeeze.   
“The storm must have been really bad then. Good thing we were already inside when it hit,” Viktor smiled, interlocking their fingers and giving his fiancé a squeeze back. He pulled out his phone to send a few texts as Yuuri plays with Viktor’s fingers. “Seems like Yurio and Georgi lost power, too. Yakov still has his, so we should get it back by tomorrow at the latest.”  
“That’s good. We just went grocery shopping yesterday. As long as we don’t open the fridge too much, it should last for when the power comes back,” Yuuri smiled as he felt a little chill run down his sides. No power also meant no heat, which was much more brutal in Russia than Japan. Viktor slowly pushed Yuuri to the side as he swung his legs off the couch. Yuuri confusingly stares as his fiancé walks over to the hallway closet. He comes back after a minute flopping down a pile of blankets towering over Yuuri, who was still kneeling in front of the couch. Without a word, and before Yuuri can say anything, Viktor has turned to collect more things. When he comes back this time, it’s with a pillow and Makkachin trailing behind him.   
“It’s going to get cold without power, so we should bundle up,” he sing-songs as he drapes one of the fuzzier blanks over the couch, then props the pillow against one of the arm rests. He lies down along the couch and pats his stomach. Yuuri smiles as he crawls on top of Viktor, laying his head against his chest as he wraps his arms around his back. Viktor reaches for another fuzzy blanket and drapes it over Yuuri before wrapping the other half of the blanket draped over the back of the couch over their shared warmth. He draped another blanket over the back of the couch before calling for Makkachin to snuggle on top of them, which he happily obliged before being wrapped by that same blanket. Viktor kept wrapping the three of them up until neither of them could move even if they wanted to. It was a warm blanket burrito.   
“Is it warm enough for you, Yuuri?” Viktor asked as he snaked his arms under the mountain of blankets to wrap around the younger man’s back. Yuuri gave him a gentle squeeze and smiled.   
“Yes. I couldn’t be happier,” his cheeks were flushed, either from the cold or from being huddled against Viktor. It didn’t matter though, Viktor was happy. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he was ever this happy. Looking at his fiancé snuggling up against him, surrounded by blankets and with Makkachin on top, Viktor felt a warmth spread in his chest despite the storm raging behind those frosted window panes. He couldn’t help himself. His body just moved on it’s own, and the words slipped out. He kissed Yuuri’s slightly chapped lips and smiled.   
“I love you,” he whispered. It was the first time he said it. Yuuri hadn’t said it either. Viktor knew it was a cultural thing to not say love to your significant other in many Asian countries, so he was planning on waiting until Yuuri said it first, but he was just too cute and snuggly and the words just slipped out. He didn’t mean to say it, but he did mean every word. He held his breath as Yuuri looked at him, his cheeks growing a darker shade of red, before burying his face against Viktor’s chest again. He squeezed tightly, which made Viktor slightly relieved. That was a good thing, right?  
“I love you, too, Viktor,” he mumbled into the older man’s chest. Viktor could only incredulously stare before a wide grin plastered his face. He squeezed Yuuri and moved a hand to stroke his hair. He pulled up some of the blankets to expose Makkachin’s face and chuckled.   
“Did you hear that, Makkachin? He said he loves me, too!” Viktor laughed as his furry friend gave a supportive bark.  
“Vitya, we’re engaged. Of course I love you,” Yuuri looked up to stare at the goofy grin his fiancé was bearing and smiled. He couldn’t believe this man was four years his senior.   
“But this is the first time you’ve ever said you loved me! And the first time you said we’re engaged,” Viktor’s grin turned mischievous with his next words. “I do remember someone saying these rings were only good luck charms after all.” Yuuri’s face flushed up even more so than before as he looked away.   
“Ah, well...that was...b-because it was important to me...you...are important to m-me,” Yuuri buried his head back into Viktor’s chest as he clearly, but quietly, finished his train of thought. “Good luck charms are a sort of...sacred thing in Japan, and...I wa-I wanted to give you one to help me skate and show my thanks and my feelings. So...when I saw the rings…” he trailed off, peeking up at Viktor’s face. His eyes were wide, but soft, and his mischievous grin was replaced with a sweet, albeit cocky, smile. Yuuri quickly craned his neck to give the older Russian a kiss on his lips before burying his embarrassment back into his chest. Viktor could only smile and squeeze his lover.   
“I love you, Yuuri.”  
“I love you, too, Viktor.”  
“Arf arf,” Makkachin supplied, and the two lovebirds burst into a fit of giggles. Even with the storm raging outside, the three of them stayed huddled in their blankets, laughing like children. That was a kind of love neither one of them ever wanted to let go of.


	21. Over Your Shoulder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short, domestic fluff.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: T for language   
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: Short stupid fluff

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 21: Over Your Shoulder

Viktor was cold. In fact, he was fucking freezing. It wasn’t because he was sleeping naked. And it wasn’t because the covers somehow ended up on the floor. And it definitely wasn’t because Yuuri wasn’t in bed snuggling with him. Viktor rolled flat feeling Yuuri’s half of the bed. It was cold. Freezing, in fact. He wasn’t bitter at all.   
He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he sat up yawning. He heard some clattering from the kitchen and stood up. He mumbled as he walked into the kitchen not even bothering to put on underwear. Yuuri was wearing a pink, frilly apron and cooking something on the stove. Eggs probably. Viktor smiled as he sneaked behind his fiancé. Yuuri shrieked out as he felt Viktor’s arms wrap around his waist. They froze.   
“Your voice-” Viktor started.   
“Viktor, don’t you dare say anything or I will eat all your eggs right now.” Viktor smiled. He looked at the eggs which were a perfect golden brown and little pepper flakes on top, just how he liked it. Then he looked back up at Yuuri’s very red face. Which one looked more delicious?  
“I love you?” Viktor nuzzled against Yuuri’s neck. Yuuri shot him a glare as he moved the eggs on two separate plates. Viktor smiled. Crisis averted.   
“I love you, too. Go put some clothes on before you eat,” Yuuri placed the eggs on their little bar and set a cup of coffee next to each of them before moving to sit in a bar stool. Viktor laughed as he returned to their bedroom before sitting next to him grinning.  
“All dressed!” The eggs were so delicious Viktor could cry. He helped Yuuri wash the dishes before donning his coat and boots for their walk to the ice rink. He grinned slightly as he watched Yuuri bend down to tie his shoes. He just couldn’t help himself.  
Viktor crouched down and held his breath. Yuuri didn’t notice him. So when Viktor’s hands poked his sides, Yuuri jumped up and squealed, high pitched and shaky. He shot a glare at Viktor, who was now running out the door. Yuuri grabbed his jacket and chased after his laughing man-child of an almost husband screaming his name. Viktor looked back over his shoulder and laughed.   
“I love you, Yura!”  
“I’m going to kill you, Viktor!”


	22. Muffled, From The Other Side Of The Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking place sometime before the Cup of China.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice  
Pairing: Viktuuri  
Rating: T for language. Otherwise K+  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything   
Warnings: Fluff. Tears. Before Cup of China.

The Way You Say “I Love You”  
Ch 22: Muffled, From The Other Side Of The Door 

“Come on, calm down. It’s not that hard. Just three words. Just say those three words. Or four. Should I say his name with it? Oh God, I don’t even know anymore,” Yuuri furiously rubbed his hands through his hair. Ugh, this was the worst. He slumped down against his closed bedroom door and saddled his head between his knees. His heart ached and his chest was tight. It was hard to breathe. He wanted Viktor to help, to hold him, to whisper sweet nothings in his ear in an attempt to calm him, to never see him like this. He loved Viktor. He wanted him here with him. He wanted him as far away so he wouldn’t have to see Yuuri like this. The thoughts were contradicting and muddled his mind. Yuuri has never felt like this before and didn’t know what to do. Viktor would know. He can’t ask Viktor. He let out a heavy sigh as he rested his head against the door, staring past the ceiling, not focusing on anything.   
“I love you, Viktor.”   
There. He said it. That wasn’t so hard, right? Is just saying it enough? Does he feel better? His chest is still tight, but breathing is easier. His head is still muddled with thoughts he can’t make sense of, but he feels calmer. At least, he thinks he feels calmer. He let out another long, heavy sigh, closing his eyes.   
“I love you, Viktor,” he said again, more confident this time. Alone in his room, it wasn’t too bad. It wasn’t too scary. He could do this. Yeah.   
Feeling better after his internal pep talk, he crawls over to his bed and rummages around underneath it. He pulls out a stack of posters and slowly sifts through them. They’re all gorgeous. Viktor’s long, silver hair. His short hair. His pink outfits. His black silhouettes. His smiles. His lonely expressions. His everything. Yuuri couldn’t help but smile fondly at the posters. Even in pictured form, Viktor was perfect. Beautiful. Viktor.   
“I love you, Viktor,” Yuuri whispered to a poster, feeling his face flush up. Saying it when he was alone was one thing, but saying it to a picture of the man he’s in love with is apparently an entire different concept. He quickly hides his face in the side of his mattress groaning. This was embarrassing. Too embarrassing. It was just a poster, but still. He can’t do this. He can’t.   
He can. He can do this. Probably. Maybe. 50/50 shot. Just say it. It’s just a poster. He’s not even here. It’s a piece of paper. Come on. He can do this.   
“I love you, Viktor,” he mumbles into his mattress still. He lifts his head slightly to look at the perfection printed in his hands and smiles. “I love you, Viktor.”  
This wasn’t too bad. It was embarrassing as hell, but he could manage this. Yeah. It’s just a poster. And his face may be pinker than Viktor’s Stammi Vicino costume, but he could manage this. Yuuri smiles, determined. He can do this.   
“I love you, Viktor!” He proclaims proudly, confidently, earnestly, with his whole heart. To a poster. He quickly slumps his head back into his mattress. “God damn it, what’s wrong with me?”   
“It sounds like you’re lovesick,” a voice from behind him chuckles. Shit. Yuuri recognizes that low voice. That voice of an angel. That voice of the man on his posters. Yuuri shakily turns his head to see Viktor leaning against his doorframe. How long has he been standing there? Oh God, how much did he hear? Oh God, Yuuri was still holding a pile of Viktor’s posters in his hand. His look of complete horror as he quickly shoved them behind his back and faced Viktor made the older man chuckle. The sound of an angel.   
“V-V-V-Viktor! W-Wh-What are you doing here?!” Yuuri’s voice was shaking and cracking. He sounded like a prepubescent child and oh God, his life was over. Bury him in blue roses and play Stammi Vicino at his funeral. At least he has his suit from last year’s Grand Prix to wear when they bury him. He has to look nice in the casket.   
“I heard your muffled groan through the door, so I peeked my head in to see what had you down. I was expecting you to be worried for the Cup of China, not confessing your love to some posters,” Viktor grinned as he knelt next to Yuuri. His hand came to caress his cheek, and his lips were way too close to his ear. Yuuri shivered as Viktor’s hot breath tickled his ear. “Especially since you have the real thing right here. Let me hear you say it again.”  
Yuuri’s face flushed up, his chest tightened, his heartbeat was pounding against his ribs. He was sure Viktor could hear it. He couldn’t do this. Viktor was too close. He smelled so nice. His fingers were so warm on his cheek. Just four words. Just say four words. He can do this. He can’t do this. He can. He can’t. Can. Can’t. Can. Can’t. Viktor’s fingers traced down his neck. Can. His hot breath was breathing next to his ear. Can’t. Viktor’s slight smile made Yuuri’s knees go weak. If he wasn’t already sitting, he would have fallen. Can. He loved Viktor. Can’t. He loved Viktor so much. Ever since the first time he saw him skating.  
He can do this.   
He opened his mouth. It was dry. His voice wouldn’t come out. He couldn’t make a sound. Viktor waited. Watching him shake and struggle. His smile was calming. Patient. Yuuri swallowed hard. He stared at the floor. Shut his eyes tight. He can do this. It’s just four words. He opened his mouth. It was even drier. His voice was harsh, raspy. He swallowed again. He felt Viktor’s fingers stroking his hair.   
“I won’t leave until you say it to me, Yuuri. Take all the time you need. I’ve waited almost a year to hear you say this to me, so I’m a little impatient. But take your time and say it properly,” Yuuri looked up to see Viktor’s smile. It was calming. Sweet. His eyes were soft and glistening. Yuuri’s heart ached. Viktor’s fingers gently stroked his hair, and Yuuri could feel the tears well up in his eyes. He was sure Viktor was going to reject him. His words didn’t make sense, but it sounded like Viktor felt the same way. Or, at least, Viktor wasn’t going to reject him. He wasn’t going to be disgusted in him. He wasn’t going to leave him.   
He wasn’t going to leave him.   
That thought broke the dam. The tears freely flowed down his cheeks as he hiccuped. His chest was tight, twisting. He couldn’t breathe, but felt a wave of relief wash over him. His shoulders were shaking, and Viktor quickly wrapped his arms around his back. He was saying something. His voice was high pitched. It sounded panicked. Warped. Yuuri tried to listen, but the words were swirling around his head. All he could do is cry. Cry on Viktor’s shoulder. Cry in Viktor’s arms. He was happy. Relieved. Overwhelmed. In love.   
“I love you, Viktor,” he cried out. His arms wrapped around Viktor’s back, clenching onto the thin fabric of his shirt. Viktor’s heart was fast. Calming. Yuuri was crying. Viktor was holding him. Whispering in his ear. Kissing his cheek. Yuuri was in love. Yuuri was loved.   
“I love you, too, Yuuri,” Viktor whispered into his ear.   
As Yuuri held onto Viktor, crying in his arms, hugging him tightly, he realized something. Something he never thought he’d be able to experience. He was in love with his idol. That was crazy. Even more crazy? His idol loved him back. But the craziest thing? Viktor was crying, too.   
“I'm so happy, Yuuri. I love you.” He squeezed the younger man, who nuzzled into his neck. The tears kept slowly trickling down, but he could breathe easy now. He smiled.   
“I'm happy, too. I love you, Viktor.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all I have for the moment! This was originally on FFN, so I just posted all the chapters today. I'm working on Ch 23 (it's gonna be dirty), but I'm in Uni and competitive fencing, so time is very limited to write. On my breaks will be when I update the most. Sorry for the trouble, and thank you for reading! Just the time it took me to post these chapters I've already gotten a lot of views! Thank you all! /hearts/


	23. Through A Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri forgot all about their first anniversary, so he is determined to make it up their second year. It works.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out much longer than I was originally expecting, so sorry for the long wait! The song is a cover of Animal by Chase Holfelder. It’s a gorgeous major to minor cover and sounds super eerie. I love it. I probably could’ve picked a better song, but this is my current obsession on repeat. Sorry. Some housekeeping: I got a LINE! Hit me up! I need friends. (My ID is still demonqueen21) Thank you all for following along with me and all your amazing support and sorry for the wait! Uni is taking up a lot of my time, forgive me! /bows/

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice

Pairing: Viktuuri (Bottom!Viktor)

Rating: M. Very much M. 

Disclaimer: I don't own anything 

Warnings: Shower sex, Pole dancing, Suit ruining sex

The Way You Say “I Love You”

Ch 23: Through A Song 

    Their one year anniversary didn’t turn out as well as he would have liked. Mainly because he completely forgot about it. 

    Viktor, the man who cannot remember what he had for breakfast two hours ago, somehow, not only remembered, but also planned out the most amazing night. They went on a walk through their favorite park, sitting on the benches drinking hot chocolate. Viktor had reserved a private table at one of the high-end restaurants in downtown, the kind that takes months in advance to get a table, much less a private table. The dinner was Japanese, which Yuuri inquired about considering the restaurant was traditionally Italian. Viktor laughed and joked about them maybe changing chefs. He knew Yuuri wouldn’t like knowing he paid them extra for the Japanese themed meal. Viktor had too much money to spare, but Yuuri was always put off by the gesture. That was just one of his charms to Viktor. He loved Viktor for Viktor, not his money. And finally, Viktor took him to a private ballroom studio, and they danced. Yuuri was awkward at first, but the music was beautiful and so was Viktor. By the end of the night, he was laughing and spinning, hand in hand, arm in arm, chest to chest, lips to lips. 

    Their one year anniversary was amazing. 

    Their date was perfect. 

    Their date.

    Poor Yuuri thought Viktor was just being extravagant for no reason again. 

    When they finally returned to their shared apartment, Viktor pulled out a bag and quickly ushered Yuuri to open it. He pulled out a card and started to read it. Viktor was expecting tears of joy and hugs and kisses, but Yuuri’s face fell once he was reading the blue ink. His shoulders slumped down, and Yuuri placed the bag on their little coffee table. He looked at Viktor with tears threatening to overflow, not happy tears, Viktor would have enjoyed those, but tears that made his heart break. What did he say in the card? Did he mess up? Were the kanji wrong?

    “Vitya...I’m so sorry. I...I completely forgot,” his voice broke as the shaky words came out in almost a whisper. “With the Four Continents coming up, I...I completely forgot about our anniversary.” Viktor blinked at him, confused. 

    “What did you think all of today was? The park, dinner, dancing?” Viktor was dumbfounded. He had a feeling Yuuri had forgotten with how he was so nonchalant and not nervous he was all night. Granted, Viktor forgot most things himself, but still. He figured even if Yuuri had forgotten, he would have realized it sometime throughout the night. 

    “A...A date? A really, really nice date? Oh, God. How stupid am I?” He flung his head into his hands, hiding his embarrassment, shame, everything. He figured Viktor would be angry or disappointed in him. Which he was. Maybe not angry, but slightly irritated at least. It was nothing for Yuuri to hide from though. The two of them would probably be laughing about this later in life. Viktor plastered on his camera smile and wrapped an arm around Yuuri’s back. 

    “Come on, now. Don’t hide. It’s only our first anniversary as a married couple. There’ll be plenty more for us to celebrate,” Viktor tried to comfort his husband, but even after two years of being a coach, his pep talks were still lacking. Yuuri was mortified even more. 

    Their anniversary had been perfect. Up until the ending hours. In the end, Yuuri refused to open the gift, saying he didn’t deserve it. He profusely apologized, to the point where Viktor was getting annoyed. Viktor still smiled though. Viktor still proceeded with his grand nighttime sexcapade. Yuuri went along with it, but wasn’t enjoying himself as much as Viktor had planned. After reading the card, all Yuuri really wanted to do was hide in the bathroom and cry. How could he have forgotten? How? 

    All in all, their first anniversary wasn’t ideal. Viktor knew that. Yuuri was determined to make the second one count. He set a reminder in his phone on the actual date. He set monthly reminds for the past 4 months so he could find the perfect present. He told Viktor that he would set everything up. He forbade Viktor from doing anything. 

    Yuuri was determined to make up for last year. 

    So when the day finally came, Viktor woke up to the pleasant smell of blueberry pancakes and coffee. Yuuri smiled brightly as he walked in their bedroom carrying a little tray with breakfast on it. It wasn’t until after Viktor sat up and started eating that he noticed the lilacs in a crystal vase sitting on their nightstand. He smiled. 

    Breakfast was delicious. The coffee was freshly ground. The flowers smelled sweet. Yuuri’s kisses were even sweeter. They took the day off from practice, or rather, Yakov told them not to come. Something about them being too sickly sweet and no one wanted to see that? Yuuri didn’t think they were  _ that _ bad. Usually. He didn’t mind though. This just meant they had the whole day to themselves again.

    “So, Mr. Katsuki-Nikiforov, what’s on the agenda today?” Viktor sing-songed their shared named, smiling like a child about to go to Tokyo Disneyland. Yuuri couldn’t help himself. He leaned in and tasted the sweet blueberries on Viktor’s lips. 

    “We’re going out soon. Take your time eating. And dress in sweats,” Yuuri smiled as he got out of bed and headed to the living area. Viktor heard him rummaging around as he sipped the last bit of his coffee. Sweats? Were they going on a run? Wasn’t this supposed to be their romantic day to themselves? He slowly finished eating as he wondered just what on Earth that boy has planned for him. Oh well, sweats it is. 

    “Yuuri? I’m ready,” Viktor walked out into their little living area. He wanted to look good, but when wearing grey sweatpants and a red shirt, it was a little hard. He sighed as Yuuri came around the counter holding his jacket for him. He was wearing black sweatpants and that blue shirt Viktor loves on him.

    “Here. It’s cold out,” he says as he drapes the brown coat over his shoulders. Viktor smiles as he puts his arms through the sleeves, and Yuuri slips into his own blue coat. He picks up a backpack before smiling brightly and leading Viktor out the door. Seriously, that backpack is the size of him, they’re both wearing sweats, and it’s their anniversary. What is he doing? Viktor keeps quiet as he walks silently behind Yuuri, who couldn’t be happier right now, holding Viktor’s hand as they walk along the snow covered streets. It was kind of romantic, Viktor guessed. It’d be more romantic if they were dressed niced. And not in sweats. Viktor cared a lot about his appearance, especially in his hometown where people recognized him. He had an image to uphold. 

    Yuuri ran off ahead and stopped at a little stall before coming back to Viktor, holding two cups of steaming red liquid. Viktor took his and sipped it with a smile. 

    “Hot wine? Are you drinking one, too?” Viktor smiled as Yuuri took a sip from his own steaming cup. 

    “Yup! Since I know you love it,” Yuuri said as he grabbed Viktor’s free hand. “Come on, it’s not much farther.” They continued walking, Viktor a little more at ease this time. The wine was warm as it travelled down his chest and spread throughout his body. Yuuri’s face was already flushed up, either from the wine or the cold, Vikor couldn’t tell. Maybe even from holding his hand? 

    They turned down a street that Viktor had never been down before. He didn’t recognize anything here. He’s lived here for how many years and didn’t know there was this road here? His sense of direction couldn’t be that bad. Right?

    “Tada!” Yuuri turned and smiled like a proud parent. Viktor was...less than impressed. It was a public skating rink. One of the outdoors kind. At least he knew why Yuuri told him to wear sweats. So they could go skating on their rest day. So they could go skating on their anniversary. 

    “Yuuri-” Viktor started, but Yuuri quickly raised a hand to stop him. 

    “I know, I know. It’s our rest day and anniversary and skating is the last thing on your mind, right? Just...trust me, okay? You’ll enjoy it,” Yuuri was smiling an awkward, begging smile, but he wasn’t nervous or scared. In fact, he seemed pretty confident. Viktor was surprised at that, so he sighed and smiled. 

    “Okay, I trust you. But I would’ve brought my skates if I knew,” Viktor looked around for where they go to rent a pair, knowing it wouldn’t feel as smooth as his golden blades.

    “Don’t worry! I have them in my backpack,” Yuuri’s carefree smile make Viktor’s heart beat just a little faster. He watched as Yuuri pulled out their skates and placed the backpack in a rented locker. They sat shoulder to shoulder as they tied the laces, and Viktor gracefully stepped onto the ice, giving a little spin to face Yuuri, who had one foot on the ice before slipping forwards. Viktor reached out and caught him before he fell. 

    “Yuuri! Are you okay? Did you roll your blade or something?” Viktor helped Yuuri stand up straight wondering how on Earth he tripped already. He was so graceful on ice. On the sidewalk? Sure, no surprise if he face planted. On ice, though? Never. Not like this. After a jump, sure. But never just on the ice. 

    “Sorry, thanks for catching me,” he gave out an awkward laugh, and Viktor just smiled. Everyone has their off day he guessed. He let go of Yuuri and started to slowly skate until he heard Yuuri cry out. He turned around and saw him flat on the ice. At least he skated a few paces before falling this time. 

    “Maybe skating isn’t such a good thing today?” Viktor asked as he helped Yuuri up again. 

    “Sorry, Vitya. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. M-Maybe,” he took a deep breath as his face flushed up. “Maybe we should hold hands, so I don’t fall again.” 

    Oh.

_ Oh. _

    Viktor’s grin slowly spread across his face. So that was his plan? Yuuri peeked up at Viktor’s eyes, which were shining brightly. His face was a blushing mess, and all Viktor wanted to do was kiss him. Instead, he held out both hands, which Yuuri grabbed with a shy smile. They skated slowly, Viktor going backwards leading Yuuri. Just slow laps, with lots of people staring. Viktor’s smile only grew wider when he overheard some girls awww-ing over them. Yuuri was right. He was enjoying this. 

    “You know, Yuuri?”

    “Hm?”

    “I wonder how last year’s Grand Prix silver medalist suddenly can’t skate without his husband holding onto him?” Yuuri’s laughter at the question made Viktor grin. He was enjoying this a lot. 

    “I don’t know, Vitya. Maybe it’s just soft ice?” Yuuri’s blushing smile was infectious. So pure and filled with joy. He squeezed Viktor’s hands. 

    “Ah, must be,” Viktor couldn’t stop smiling. Skating like this, hand in hand, surrounded by people, but no one watching. It was perfect. It was even more perfect when Viktor pulled Yuuri in close for a kiss. Even more perfect when Yuuri spun Viktor out. Even more perfect when they somehow ended up skating part of their duet performance from the gala, and the small crowd clapped for them. It was quiet, and peaceful. Nothing like after a real competition. Viktor loved it. He would have to remember where this little rink was so he could come here again. 

    Viktor sat on a bench as he undid his laces. Yuuri capped his blades and went to get their backpack and shoes from the locker, so when Yuuri’s arms wrapped around Viktor from behind, he leaned into the warmth.

    “Close your eyes, Vitya,” Yuuri whispered in his ear. A shiver went down his spine, and he did as he was told. He felt something cold at the back of his neck, and something heavy resting between his collarbones. “There.”

    Viktor opened his eyes and looked down, the breath catching in his throat. Around his neck was a thin, silver chain. A little pendant was hanging on his chest. A silver locket with a golden flower coming off of it. A blue gem made up the center of the flower, and two Russian cyrillic were engraved, right above the flower. КН [ka][n].

    “I guess the cyrillic kind of looks like English, doesn’t it? It’s for our names though, К [ka] for  勝生 [Katsuki] and Н [n] for  Никифоров [Nikiforov].” He awkwardly laughed as he moved around the bench to face him. Viktor was silent as he traced his fingers over the engraving and slowly opened the pendent. On one side was their wedding photo, the two of them standing next to each other. Yuuri in a white suit and Viktor in a black one, both holding bouquets of flowers. The other side was a picture Viktor didn’t even know was taken. They were in the ice rink, on either side of the wall, kissing. This was from last week in practice. 

    “When did you take this picture?” Viktor whispered. 

    “I asked Mila to take a few candid shots for me last week. This was my favorite. D-Do you like it?” Viktor looked up into Yuuri’s almost amber eyes. His face was blushing red, and his signature nervousness was back. Viktor couldn’t stop himself. Before he knew, he was on his feet, hands in soft, charcoal locks, kissing Yuuri. 

    “I love it,” he mumbled, breathless, against Yuuri’s lips. Yuuri giggled, relieved. He wrapped his arms around Viktor’s neck and kissed him back, momentarily forgetting that they were still in public before they heard a cat call whistle. Then he pulled back, even more red faced than before. 

    “Come on, we still have dinner to get to,” Yuuri said as he sat down to take his skates off. Viktor didn’t even realize it was this late. It was just barely noon when they first came to the rink. He completely lost track of time skating hand in hand with Yuuri. 

    Viktor followed Yuuri, who only led them back to their apartment. He dropped his bag off and pushed Viktor into the shower before returning to the bedroom. Viktor started showering before he heard the bathroom door open again. Yuuri stepped in and slid his hands up Viktor’s back. Grinning, Viktor reached around and trailed his fingers down his sides, making Yuuri shiver. They kissed, spitting out water that dripped between their lips, hands running up and down their wet bodies. Viktor moaned out as Yuuri nibbled on his collar bone, hands unconsciously gripping the wet hair draped on his shoulder. Yuuri’s hands slid down Viktor’s stomach, gently wrapping around his, now very hard, cock and slowly stroked up and down. He ran his thumb over the tip, gently pulling at the slit as his lips trailed down his chest, leaving light red bite marks down to his nipples. Viktor moaned as Yuuri gently sucked on them and stroked him faster. His hand gripped in Yuuri’s hair as he felt his stomach tighten. He pulled Yuuri’s head up and kisses his lips. 

    “Wait, Yuuri. I want to touch you, too,” Viktor was panting and twitching in Yuuri’s hand. God, he was close. When the hell did his husband get so good at this? Yuuri laughed as his hand only stroked faster.

    “No way, Vitya. When you make that face, I only want to tease you more,” Yuuri grinned as he stroked faster and rolled Viktor’s nipple between his fingers. His face was flushed and his half-open eyes were staring down at Yuuri. They were a gorgeous shade of blue and shining. He bit his lip as his forehead rested against Yuuri’s shoulder. His shoulders were shaking and his breathing was shallow gasps. Yuuri stroked steady and fast as his other hand came down to run over his slit. Viktor felt his stomach tighten and heat focusing in his hips. He couldn’t breathe. It was raspy pants, and Yuuri’s hand just kept going and going and it felt hot and wet and amazing and tight and coming and coming and Viktor was coming. His off-white pleasure splattered on Yuuri’s hand and wrist with a high-pitched gasp. Yuuri chuckled at the sound, and Viktor buried his head in his shoulder. 

    “Don’t be embarrassed, I love the way your voice goes up when you cum,” Yuuri kissed Viktor’s cheek only to receive a groan in response. He laughed as he shut the water off and reached for a towel to dry them off. 

    “Wait, what about you?” Viktor asked as the fluffy towel wrapped around his head.

    “No. I’m fine. That’s for later,” Yuuri idly said as he continued to dry Viktor off. He tried to protest, but Yuuri’s face made it very clear that it wasn’t happening. So Viktor stood silently as Yuuri dried him off, and Yuuri left him, alone, in the bedroom telling him to get dressed. Yuuri had laid out a pale grey suit for Viktor to wear. He slowly dressed himself feeling the cheap cotton fabric of the shirt and frowning. This was one of the most hideous suits he'd ever seen. He didn't even know he owned such a cheaply made cotton suit. The blazer itself looked like something a private high school would make its students wear as a uniform. He hated the feeling of it on his skin, but Yuuri specifically laid it out for him. Once he finished, Yuuri knocked on the open door. Viktor turned to see Yuuri wearing his own hideous black wool suit with a white shirt. His off-gray tie matched Viktor’s suit, which was when he realized his own black tie matched Yuuri’s. They looked like two high school dorks. Was Yuuri’s fashion sense always this terrible? Viktor would have to take him shopping.

    “Are you ready, Vitya?” His hair was slicked back and his blue frames looked gorgeous on his face. God, Viktor couldn’t stop staring. Whether it was because of his face or the disaster that called itself a suit, he couldn't tell. Was he drooling? Was he gaping in horror? How was Yuuri this sexy even in that monstrosity? “-ya? Viktor!”

    “Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m ready,” he tried his best to flash a sexy smile, but with the grin Yuuri was giving him, he didn’t think he succeeded too well. Yuuri held the door open and the two stepped into the cold. A cab was already waiting for them, and Viktor wondered just how much planning Yuuri had done. He didn’t even give the driver any instructions. They made idle chit chat as they rode along. When the cab came to a stop, Yuuri rushed out to hold Viktor’s door open. Viktor couldn’t help himself, he was smiling. The cab driver drove off as Viktor looked at a little inn. It was small and rustic. It reminded him of Yutopia back in Hasetsu, but smaller. 

    “I’m not connected enough to get fancy reservations like you are, but I can at least do this much,” he gave another awkward laugh as he walked inside the small wooden door. Viktor followed behind him. The open area was empty, and Yuuri sat down at the only table in the center of the room. Viktor sat across from him. 

    “Where is everyone?” Viktor looked around as a young girl, 14 or 15 at the most, bring out two wine glasses and a bottle of chilled white wine before leaving. 

    “I reserved the entire place. Just the two of us,” Yuuri idly said as he popped the cork and poured them both glasses. Viktor took a sip after Yuuri did. It was sweet and tasted slightly like oranges. The same young girl returned with four bowls and carefully set them in front of the two. One was a familiar sight of deep-fried pork and egg over rice. It smelled heavenly. Katsudon. The other was another familiar sight of a reddish soup with chunks of potatoes floating around and a dollop of cream on top. Borscht. It smelled homely and both dishes were steaming. 

    “I didn't know which comfort food you'd like, so I had them prepare both,” he was smiling happily. Viktor smiled back. It was a real nice gesture, especially since it was the two of them alone. But something still weighed on his mind.

    “I love it, Yuuri. But...you know we didn't have to get dressed up just for this.” 

    “I know, but you love dressing up anyways,” he smiled cheerfully as he clapped his hands in prayer before taking a bite of the katsudon. 

    “I wouldn't exactly call this dressing up,” Viktor mumbled under his breath as he repeated Yuuri’s actions. He had thought he said it too quietly for him to hear, so the reply caught him by surprise. 

    “I know you don't really care for these suits, but don't worry. There's a reason I picked these,” he smiled happily as he continued eating, so Viktor just sighed and followed his lead. The ice skating turned out to be a well-thought out surprise resulting in his locket he loved, so Viktor was sure this dinner would be the same. He was sure. It had to. Right? 

    Right. 

    With that reassuring thought, Viktor took a spoonful of soup and a spoonful of rice and quietly ate across from Yuuri. They made more idle chit-chat, and Yuuri downed two glasses of wine. Viktor was on his third, still waiting for the surprise. There had to be a surprise. Comfort food is good and all, but still. This was just...too plain. Viktor Katsuki-Nikiforov was used to anything but plain. Yuuri was anything but plain. So their second anniversary had to be anything but plain, too. But the dinner ended quietly, and Yuuri downed a third glass of wine before standing up. Viktor followed along, expecting to get back in a taxi for a slightly awkward drive home. So when Yuuri motioned for him to follow into a back room, Viktor was slightly surprised. But he followed in silence as Yuuri led him to a completely black room. Viktor could barely make out curtains on the opposing wall, but it was already night outside, so no light was shining. He felt Yuuri’s fingers loop through his. 

    “Careful, watch your step,” he said as he led Viktor to somewhere near the middle of the room. He was gently pushed into a chair, just a plain, wooden chair with a cushion on the seat and back, not something fancy or, you know, comfortable, while he listened to Yuuri’s footsteps walk away. Viktor sat and waited. He couldn’t see anything, but he heard Yuuri rustling with something and recognizable clink of a belt. Viktor was very curious. Was he taking his pants off? He didn’t know if he should speak or wait, but luckily, dimly lit coloured lights flashed across his skin before he had to make a decision. It was one of those ball lights that just spun the colours around the room. The dull pinks and blues were just barely enough to see the full room, pole included. His eyes went wide as Yuuri walked in front of where he was sitting, still fully clothed, but, oh, that grin on his face made it very clear that was about to change. 

    “Yuuri…” Viktor breathed out. 

    “You’d be surprised how hard it is to find a place like this, Vitya. This inn used to be a ballet studio before they renovated the front half, so lucky for you, Mr. Katsuki-Nikiforov, I love you so much that I’ve prepared a special show,” Yuuri leaned down and gently kisses Viktor’s gaping lips as a dull pink light flashed over them, and the eerie music started in the background.

    Yuuri turned around and gently rotated his hips over Viktor’s lap. His hands were running up along his chest, and across his cheeks as Viktor watched his husband caress himself teasingly. He swallowed as Yuuri reached down and grabbed his hands, placing them on his hips as he turned back to look at Viktor. He watched Yuuri with wide eyes as he bit his lower lip and grinded against Viktor’s now tight pants. 

    Yuuri took his own hands and placed them on Viktor’s knees, spreading his legs so he could dip his body between them, rubbing Viktor’s crotch all across his back and hips, gently rolling his neck to the side and gripping Viktor’s hair, begging for him to suck on the exposed flesh of his neck. Viktor complied as the song whispered something about being a cannibal and  _ oh _ , he agreed. Neither one of them were getting any sleep tonight. Yuuri pulled Viktor’s head off of his neck. 

    The single drum beat in the song perfectly aligned with Yuuri’s leg sweeping up and in front of Viktor’s face, his hair gently swaying with it. Once again, Viktor swallowed as Yuuri was now straddling him, grinding hard against him as the music moaned and demanded more. Yuuri’s hands were in his own hair pulling at the black locks, and Viktor’s hands instinctively went to his waist. Viktor watched as Yuuri’s hands dragged down his face and neck, slowly unbuttoning the top of his shirt as the song begged Viktor to bite. The single drum beat again, and Yuuri’s hands were back in his hair, slicking it back as the music demanded more, as Viktor demanded more. Yuuri’s hips were grinding in figure eights as Viktor’s fingers held onto him tightly. His hands were trailing down his body, teasing Viktor, before gently resting on his own thighs, gripping the slick fabric. Viktor hadn’t realized it before, but Yuuri changed his pants. So when the drums beat down again, and Yuuri jumped back, Viktor was left sitting with tear-away pants draped across his legs. Yuuri was already with one hand on the pole grinning as Viktor stared with wide eyes and a gaping mouth as the music sung lyrics which, surprisingly, fit perfectly.

_ Here we go again, _

_ I feel the chemicals kicking in _

    Viktor smiled remembering just how drunk Yuuri was at the banquet when they first met. He smiled even wider as Yuuri leaned back and spun around, hiding his face with his hand. He stopped when he was facing Viktor and slit his fingers open to stare into his eyes. The grin on his face almost made Viktor blush. The music slid up an octave, which Viktor only realized because Yuuri’s leg also went up. So when the music slid up again, Viktor watched wide eyed as Yuuri’s other leg followed. He wondered where the fuck Yuuri learned any of this as his husband slowly spun only hanging onto the pole by his legs. 

    Once he had made a rotation, he sat up and grabbed the pole where his ankles were with one hand while the other arm wrapped down the pole, and he spread his legs out, rotating them across Viktor’s view before wrapping around the pole again. Viktor watched in awe as Yuuri leaned back again, only holding onto the pole just between his thighs. Viktor swallowed as Yuuri grinned at him upside-down, hands tracing down his neck and torso again, and Viktor has never wanted to be a pole more than that moment in his entire life. The drums beat down again, and Yuuri ripped his cheaply made suit shirt open, buttons flying. Viktor realized then just how tight his own pants had gotten, almost painfully so. But he couldn’t take his eyes off of Yuuri.

    His husband just kept going along with the music. He grabbed the pole and inverted his legs, so his stomach was now against the pole instead of his back. He placed on hand below him to prop him up as his top leg gripped the pole with the back of his knee and his other leg pointed straight out. He leaned back and slowly spun, reaching his free hand out to Viktor. The music asked what he was waiting for, and Viktor didn’t know. He wanted to jump Yuuri. He wanted to grab him, and kiss him, and fuck him bent over this uncomfortable chair. So what was he waiting for?

    Yuuri sat himself up and crossed his legs, which were extended straight, as he spun. Viktor watched and idly wondered how he wasn’t falling down the pole as Yuuri continued to adjust himself. He reached an arm around the pole to grab his ankle as he spun around the pole like a snake. It was a slow spin, so Viktor could see Yuuri’s free hand going up to his mouth, a finger gently pressed against it as the music whispered hush hush, ceasing all thoughts in Viktor’s head except for how gorgeously perfect Yuuri looked. He slowly spun as the music continued, before readjusting his arms well above his head. So when the guitar, this time, blared out, he was ready to go. Viktor could only watch with wide eyes and an open mouth as his husband inverted himself with only his arms to wrap his legs around the top of the pole before readjusting his arms again to kick out his legs as they made another cross rotation, giving Viktor a full view of Yuuri’s crotch. 

    He hooked his top knee around the pole and grabbed near the middle with both hands. Viktor watched him flip his legs around the pole, and spin with them spread all along the gold metal. He rotated his legs yet again, so the pole was clenched between his thighs, and reached out both hands to Viktor. The song was begging him to bite, and Yuuri’s face was a mix of pleasure, greed, want, and Viktor couldn’t stop himself. He jumped forward and gripped his hair, kissing him deep and passionately as Yuuri’s shock spread his thighs enough for him to fall. He just barely caught himself because he was clinging onto Viktor. 

    “H-Hey! I’m not done yet,” Yuuri laughed as Viktor’s lips went down his neck. Viktor loosened his tie as he whispered in Yuuri’s ear.

    “You’re right. You’re just getting started. I love you so fucking much, Yuuri,” Yuuri laughed again as Viktor pulled his tie off and kissed him. He was struggling to squirm out of his suit coat while still keeping his hands on Yuuri’s body. Unfortunately, Yuuri pulled away laughing. 

    “You’re so impatient! I love you, too. Come on, follow me,” Yuuri grabbed his hand smiling and quickly led Viktor to one of the rooms in the inn. Viktor immediately threw Yuuri onto the bed and began kissing and biting and sucking his neck and collarbones. He couldn’t help it. He needed Yuuri. His hands trailed up his sides, and he felt Yuuri’s fingers clench in his hair, begging for more. Viktor trailed his tongue down his chest, leaving bite marks all along Yuuri’s well-defined abs. He dipped his tongue along his belly button before trailing light, teasing butterfly kisses down to his underwear. 

    Viktor hadn’t noticed it while Yuuri was performing, but his bulge was hard and dripping. His blue underwear were stained badly where the pre-cum leaked and Viktor could feel his own boxer-briefs growing more wet at the sight. He sat up and took his suit coat off before Yuuri’s hands gripped his elbows and somehow Yuuri ended up on top of Viktor. When did Yuuri get this strong? He bent down and whispered as he nibbled Viktor’s ear.

    “Leave the suit on, Vitya. After all, you won’t be able to wear it again after I’m done with you,” he growled out the promise and Viktor felt his pants growing even more painfully tight and uncomfortably wet. He loved this side of Yuuri. The side only he has ever seen. 

    Yuuri was kissing him again, sucking on his tongue and pulling his bottom lip. His hips were grinding hard against the coarse fabric covering Viktor’s twitching crotch, and Viktor’s hands were pulling Yuuri’s back and shoulders closer to him, leaving red marks where his nails scratched along pale skin. Yuuri moaned into Viktor’s open mouth and Viktor bucked his hips up, begging for that friction he craved. Yuuri reached down and pulled his shirt, untucking it as he kissed down Viktor’s jawline. In one motion, Yuuri ripped the poor shirt wide open, buttons flying all over the bed, and Viktor’s breath hitched in his throat. The devourous look in Yuuri’s eyes and the way he was grinning while biting his lower lip was too much. Viktor wanted him. Viktor wanted to take him. Viktor wanted to be taken by him. 

    So when Yuuri returned to lick and suck on his neck, trailing soft bites down his chest, Viktor wanted to cry out. It was unbearable. How Yuuri was even this composed, he had no clue. He wanted out of his pants. He wanted Yuuri’s mouth on his cock. He wanted to feel Yuuri inside him. He wanted more, but Yuuri was taking his damn sweet time nibbling his way down Viktor’s stomach. Little gasps escaped his lips as he tried to be as composed as his husband, but God damn, Yuuri knew all the right places to suck on and all the right places to bite. Viktor looked down and could already see red and purple marks flowering against his pale skin which only made things worse for his underwear. When Yuuri dipped his tongue across his navel, he looked up at Viktor with hungry eyes as he nipped at the thin hairs trailing down to his belt buckle. 

    “Fuck,” Viktor breathed out as his hand clenched soft, black hair and he grinded against Yuuri’s cheek, begging. “I can’t take it anymore, Yuuri.  _ Please. _ ”

    Yuuri chuckled as his hands came up to undo his belt, and again, in one motion, he whipped the belt off and discarded it somewhere on the floor. He nuzzled his face against the bulging fabric and ran his tongue and teeth over the fabric, mocking Viktor, as his fingers painstakingly slowly unbuttoned his pants. He slowly tugged the zipper down and watched Viktor squirm as his cock twitched with every brush over the fabric. His breathing was shaky pants and begging gasps and Yuuri was enjoying every second of this. He pulled apart the fabric flap and licked the underside with a hot breath. Viktor lost it then. 

    “God damn it, Yuuri! Hurry up and take me already!” Both of Viktor’s hands shot into his black hair as he forced Yuuri’s head into his groin, rubbing the inch of exposed flesh against his face. Yuuri looked up to see Viktor’s face tainted with desire, pleads, and pleasure. His face was literally begging Yuuri. That’s when Yuuri realized his own boxer-briefs were too tight and too wet.  

    “You asked for it,” Yuuri said with a devilish grin. His hands wrapped underneath Viktor’s knees and forced his legs up. Viktor’s hips went up with the motion, and Yuuri pulled his pants and underwear halfway down his thighs while propping his ankles on Yuuri’s shoulders. He reached over to the nightstand where there was a box of condoms and a bottle of lube that Viktor failed to realize were there in his earlier state. The position he was in didn’t allow him to see exactly what Yuuri was doing, however, so he laid there with bated breath as Yuuri tore the wrapper open and popped the cap of the lube. Yuuri’s eyes glanced between what his hands were doing to Viktor’s exposed, twitching cock and grinned before looking at Viktor’s blushing face. Viktor opened his mouth to make some retort to the expression, but what came out was a rising-in-pitch gasp as Yuuri slipped a lubed up finger inside him. Yuuri chuckled as Viktor shot him a glaring blush.

    “I’m sorry, what was that Vitya?” 

    “That’s playing dirty,” Viktor attempted to say clearly, but the way Yuuri’s finger skillfully worked in and out made his voice much shakier than usual. It got even more uncontrollable when he pushed in the second digit. By the third one, Viktor’s voice was only a mix of moans and gasps as his hips squirmed and bucked with a mind of their own. His legs were still in the air, and Yuuri was watching his exposed dick twitch and leak at the lack of touch. He wanted to hide his face, but his hand would over move to cover his mouth as the other tightly gripped the pillow. His eyes never left Yuuri’s, which were still focused intensely on his begging cock. Viktor had lost all control of his body. When Yuuri finally glanced up at his face, he breathed out sharply, almost a hiss. 

    “ _ Fuck, Viktor _ ,” he pulled his fingers out and in one motion pushed himself into Viktor as deep as he could. Viktor cried out in pleasure and shock, and Yuuri kept going. He started off fast and deep, unable to control himself after seeing Viktor completely  _ ravaged _ because of him. It was too much, too hot, and he wanted more. He gripped Viktor’s shins and pumped his hips faster, searching for the sweet spot inside that would make Viktor cry out an octave higher than he should. He hit deep and fast, and Viktor clenched the pillow and let out unmuffled cries of pure ecstasy. He cried out Yuuri’s name, the hand previously covering his mouth reaching up to pry at his husband’s fingers, their hands interlacing as Yuuri finally,  _ finally _ , found that spot. Viktor gripped his hand tightly as he lost control of his voice and pitch, gasping in pure pleasure as Yuuri just kept hitting that same spot over and over and over and over. His hips were bucking against him on their own, his chest was shaking as it let out uneven, high-pitched gasps, his hands and shoulders were quivering and he felt the overwhelming tears drip down his cheeks. He wanted more. He wanted Yuuri. 

    Yuuri felt his own stomach tighten. He felt the familiar heat swelling up between his hips. He took the hand that wasn’t in the iron-death grip of Viktor’s and wrapped it around the completely ignored and twitching cock. He didn’t even need to pump it, just the act of wrapping his fingers around the base finished him off with a gasping squeal, and Yuuri immediately came at the feeling of Viktor’s muscles clamping down on him. Viktor splurted upwards, getting most of it on the suit pants still on his legs, but a few stray globs made their way down his stomach to pool on the cheap shirt he was still half-wearing. Yuuri smiled as he pulled out, and pulled the condom off. He carefully peeled the pants off of Viktor’s legs and leaned down to give him a gentle kiss on his lips.

    “Happy Anniversary, Vitya. I love you,” he whispered as he laid next to Viktor, idly stroking his sweaty hair. Viktor rolled on his side, smearing what was left of their deed on his stomach onto his husband, and nuzzled against Yuuri. 

    “Best anniversary ever,” he mumbled against Yuuri’s neck. They laid there like that for a while, before Viktor made the move to sit up. Yuuri led him into the shower, where he dutifully cleaned every inch of skin on both of them, before helping Viktor towel dry off. They crawled under the covers once again, and Viktor nuzzled right up against Yuuri, who wrapped his arms around him and idly stroked his still-wet hair.

    “Where did you learn to pole dance like that?” Viktor asked finally. The question had been weighing on his mind ever since the banquet, but he’d never had a good chance to bring it up. 

    “Detroit. Phichit said I should do it as a joke when we passed a place one day, but I went back on my own later to try it. It’s actually a really good workout for your core,” he laughed and Viktor’s heart swooned at the pure joy in it. He smiled as he nuzzled closer still, ready to bring up his next question. 

    “Okay, then why did you make us wear those hideous suits? You know we have much nicer ones we could have worn.”

    “Well, yeah. But I’d feel horrible for making you cum all over a six figured silk suit. I’d feel horrible just popping the buttons off of that.”

    “I wouldn’t have cared if you ruined it like this,” Viktor grinned as Yuuri laughed again. They stayed like that for an hour, just snuggling and breathing in each other before Viktor’s eyes grew wide. He jumped up and flung the covers off, searching through discarded clothes on the ground as Yuuri stared in shock.

    “Vitya?”

    “I’m sorry! I completely forgot about this after the pole dance!” Viktor crawled back onto the bed holding a small black, felt box and offered it to Yuuri. “Your anniversary present you refused to open last year. Will you open it this year?” His eyes were pleading, and Yuuri smiled as he took the little box. The joy in Viktor’s face was almost comical. 

    Yuuri pulled open the lid to be met with a Cartier branded watch quietly sweeping. Yuuri’s mouth gaped slightly as he pulled it out of the box foam. The silver band was held together by pink gold links and he could see his reflection in the golden chocolate face. It was heavy in his hands, but oh so gorgeous. 

    “Viktor, I can’t accept this. This watch must be worth ove-”

    “Read the back.” 

    Yuuri looked at Viktor before turning the watch over and reading the engraving, which covered the entire back of the watch. He smiled as he slid it on, enjoying the weight on his wrist, before hugging Viktor. He squeezed him tightly, and whispered in his ear. 

    “I love you so damn much.” 

_ To Yuuri Katsuki-Nikiforov _

_ The love of my life who is worth more than this watch will ever be _

_ Who is worth more than anything else in the world _

_ Stay Close to Me  _

_ I love you _

_ Viktor Katsuki-Nikiforov _

 


	24. Without Really Meaning It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri falls out of love with Viktor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very rushed and I’m not 100% happy with the prose of it, but I really wanted to update this since I’ll be out of town this weekend for fencing and then I have all my tests next week /cries/ so I’m gonna be busy for a while. I wrote this while I should have been writing my research procedure, but chemistry makes me suffer...So you all get to suffer with this! Yay!

 

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice

Pairing: Viktuuri

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: I don't own anything 

Warnings: Angst

The Way You Say “I Love You”

Ch 24: Without Really Meaning It

_ It wasn’t always this bad _ , he thought as he flopped on his own bed after yet another pointless fight. There was a time when they were so in love no one could separate them, yet recently, they’ve been sleeping in separate bedrooms it’s been so bad. He can’t recall when things changed. Maybe it was the fourth year in a row he forgot their anniversary? Maybe it was the thirty-second time Viktor came back from the store without buying a single thing on their list. Or the forty-seventh time. Or the sixty-third time. Yuuri kept count. He wasn’t bitter at all. 

    He can’t remember when things started to change. Before, just looking at Viktor would light up his heart, but that mellowed out to a soft comfort, and now...nothing. Just nothing. It’s not like he hates Viktor or anything. In their seven years of marriage, Yuuri has never once hated Viktor. Even in their worst fights, he’s never hated Viktor. He’s been annoyed, and he’s wanted to avoid him, but never hate. He loved Viktor. He still loved Viktor. Yeah, he was sure of it. He had to. They were married. They’ve been together for seven years. This was love. 

    Love.

    He ran his hands through his messy locks and sighed. Everything has felt muddled for a while now, his skating, his relationship, his feelings. Everything. He didn’t want to think. He didn’t want to dwell on the stupid fight they just had that he’s already forgotten the reason for (it was either the dishes or the trash, he thinks, but could have also been something regarding the fridge?). He just wanted to go to sleep, but a knock at the door pulls him away from that comfort. Viktor slowly opens the door and looks at Yuuri, who already knows how this is going to play out. They’ve fought like this every other day for the past year, and every night, it ends in the same way. 

    Yuuri will retreat to his separate bedroom, and eventually, Viktor will knock and stand in the doorway like this. Yuuri will sit up, and Viktor will lay his head in his lap with his arms wrapped around his slim waist (and his waist had to be slim for skating, otherwise that’ll be another pointless fight which ends the same way). Yuuri will gently stroke his hair as Viktor apologizes, even if it’s not his fault, even if Yuuri was over-reacting, Viktor will always apologize. He’ll look up at Yuuri with a fearful face and pleading eyes, scared that Yuuri will leave, scared that Yuuri will hate him, scared for who knows why, but he’ll take a breath and swallow, and beg, “ _ I love you.” _ Then wait for a reply. For a reaction. For a hint of emotion from Yuuri. For anything. 

    So Yuuri would wrap his arms around Viktor’s neck and nuzzle his head against the side of his hair, if he was feeling particularly guilty, he’d plant a gentle kiss on his cheek, too. Then he’d whisper ‘I love you, too’ and feel Viktor sigh with relief and relax. They’d crawl back in bed with Yuuri lying on his back and Viktor would cling to Yuuri for the rest of the night. Sometimes, after a particularly bad fight, Viktor’s shoulders would still be shaking, from fear or anger, Yuuri didn’t really care anymore, and so Yuuri would wrap an arm around him and he’d relax, otherwise his arms just stayed by his side or behind his head or holding onto the pillow. Basically anywhere but touching his husband. 

    And the process repeats. Day in and day out. That’s how it’s been for the past year, and that’s how it’ll be for the future years. So when he sees Viktor standing in the doorway now, he sits up like clockwork, like he did yesterday, and like he’ll probably do tomorrow, as well. And Viktor walks over and slumps in front of him, resting his head on his lap with his arms tightly around his waist. His shoulders were shaking badly, and if Yuuri cared enough to listen, he would have heard his shaking breaths, but he didn’t. He just stroked his hair like he did yesterday, not really paying attention to the man he used to love. He was expecting an apology, and then a proclamation of love, just like yesterday, but, as always, Viktor surprised him. It was hard keeping up with him. Troublesome. 

    He looked up at Yuuri with tears in his pleading eyes and his face flushed from trying to hold back the tears. Yuuri froze. He wasn’t expecting this. And he wasn’t expecting the words that cracked as they escaped Viktor’s lips. 

    “Stay close to me, Yuuri. Please. Don’t leave,” his voice was scared, like a child’s. His eyes were begging for reassurance, his shoulders shaking for fear of Yuuri leaving him. After all, they’ve been fighting so much over such stupid things. He was scared of their marriage ending. He still loved Yuuri with all his heart. He didn’t want to lose him, not again, never again. He was so scared of losing Yuuri. 

    Yuuri didn’t exactly know what to do. How to reply. Anything. So he did the same he always did, the same thing he did yesterday, and the same thing he’ll probably do tomorrow, as well. He knelt down in front of Viktor and wrapped his arms around his shaking shoulders. He nuzzled next to the side of his neck, feeling the hair tickle his nose and wanting nothing more than to lie back in bed and sleep. And he whispered the words he knew Viktor wanted to hear.

    “I’ll stay with you forever, Viktor...because I love you.” And with those words, Viktor cried. Unmuffled, heart-clenching sobs because deep down inside, he knew he had already lost Yuuri.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: Next chapter will be sex, and I can’t decide who should top? Thoughts?


	25. In A Blissful Sigh As You Fall Asleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri has a panic attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was originally planning this to be a smut chapter as I stated before, but I changed my mind. Sorry. I have a lot of tests coming up and mandatory social events I’m required to go to, so anxiety has been progressively getting worse and worse and yesterday was my first full blown panic attack, which I have no experience with. So that was fun. I’ve been anxious/high strung ever since, so sorry if this feels rushed. I tried to make it smooth, but I don’t know how successful I was.

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice

Pairing: Viktuuri

Rating: T for cursing

Disclaimer: I don't own anything 

Warnings: Panic attacks

The Way You Say “I Love You”

Ch 25:  In A Blissful Sigh As You Fall Asleep

    It has just been one of those weeks. Everything, and he meant everything, has gone wrong. None of his jumps have landed, the ice was too soft and screwing him up. He hasn’t felt that emotional connection to his music that he desperately needs to win points because he was too focused on all of his fuck ups relating to his attempted jumps. He screwed up so majorly within his first qualifying event that Yakov spent the rest of the event silently fuming at him only to release all his anger back at the hotel room. Needless to say, Yuuri’s free program did not fair any better. Yurio went back to calling him pig after that, which Yuuri could usually brush off, but this time he knew it was true. He had gained 4Kg during the off season and his muffin handles were threatening to poke out with every spin. He hated it. Once they finally returned to their apartment, his hands were shaking so badly he dropped his favorite cup. He bit back the tears as his husband helped him clean up the shattered ceramic. Yuuri was desperately hoping Viktor wouldn’t notice, but, of course, nothing was going his way. 

    “Yura, sweetie? I know you liked that mug, but it’s okay. We can get another one just like it,” he cooed as he slid the remaining shards swept up in the dustpan into the trash. 

    “It’s fine. I’m not upset.” God, from the way his voice broke, no way in hell was anyone believing that. He quickly stood up to leave as his eyes stung and his throat started to close off. The muscles were thick and heavy, making it hard to swallow. He just wanted to hide in the bathroom and cry, where no one could see him. Where no one could hear him. Everything was just too overwhelming, and he wanted-he  _ needed- _ to leave before he had a full out breakdown in front of Viktor. He knew about his anxiety, of course. But that was limited to the pre-competition nerves. Viktor has never seen Yuuri have a real panic attack. One struck from out of the blue. One with no reason behind it. One that made him curl up in a ball and sob, unable to breathe, gasping for air, his lungs burning as hot as the tears on his face. His hands were trembling just thinking about it and his breathing hitched. He could feel it coming. Viktor couldn’t see. He couldn’t see him like that. He’d leave. Yuuri was weak. Useless. Viktor couldn’t see. 

    He ran. 

    He ran like the coward he is. To the bathroom. Away from Viktor. He could hear Viktor’s muffled calls from behind the door as he slid onto the ground, back against the wood, as he slowly started to choke. His hands were shaking and his face felt hot from the inside out, like needles of fire were poking out of him. In a distant world, he could feel pounding on the door and hear Viktor’s high pitched voice calling him in a panic. He was worrying Viktor. He was making this worse. He always makes things worse. He slammed his head against his knees as the hot tears streamed down his face. His shaky hands wrapped around his knees as he gasped for air. He could feel his heart beating against his ribs, but it wasn’t painful yet. He could still calm down. He wasn’t completely broken yet. Breathe. Deep breaths. 

    In. 2. 3. 4.

    Hold. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

    Out. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 

    His head was swirling, the heat was only prickling at his skin more. This wasn’t working. Breathe. It was burning. Breathe. 

    In. 2. 3. 4. 

    The tears just kept coming. Why weren’t they stopping? Why?

    Hold. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 

    Viktor was pounding on the door, panicking. Begging. Coaxing. He couldn’t see Yuuri like this. He just couldn’t. This wasn’t like his pre-competition anxiety. This was a whole other level. Viktor would hate it. He’d be bothered by it. Yuuri was troublesome. Too much trouble. He’d want a divorce. Marry someone with less baggage. He’d leave. 

    He’d leave.

    He couldn’t leave. Yuuri needed him. He needed him to stay with him, to love him. He was weak and needy and annoying, he knew that, but Viktor. He couldn’t survive without Viktor. Needing someone isn’t beautiful or romantic, it was painful. When they didn’t need you back was even more painful. Yuuri couldn’t go through that. He just couldn’t. His vision around the edges started to blur, but it wasn’t because of his glasses or even the tears. It was all in his head. His head hurt. His throat hurt. His hands are trembling so bad. Every breath burned. His stomach hurt. Every sense was overwhelmed and it was too much. It was just too much. It’s all in his head. He’s going to barf.

    He quickly clamored up off the floor and rushed to the toilet, retching, gasping for air. The harsh acid burned his throat making it even harder to breathe. His stomach tightened and he heaved again. His shaking arms were barely holding his head up. He could hear Viktor shouting, feel his arms around his back. His bangs were pulled aside as the hot tears dripped down and he gasped for thick air which just wouldn’t fill his lungs. It was heavy and unbearable. Painful. His chest was tight and his heart was beating against his ribs so fast it hurt. Viktor was there. Viktor was seeing this. Viktor was going to leave him. Viktor could have anyone he wanted, so why waste his life on someone like Yuuri? He wasn’t good enough for him. 

    “Yuuri? Yura? What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you sick?” Viktor’s voice was shrill, painfully so. Yuuri pulled away, backing into the wall, balling himself up again, but Viktor’s hands never left his shoulders. The touch was hot, burning. Burning like his face. Burning like this throat. Burning like the air barely registering itself in his lungs. He desperately tried to pull away, clawing at his sleeves in a silent plea for him to let go. Don’t touch. It hurt. It’s painful. It’s hot. Overwhelming. Stop. 

    But to Viktor, it must’ve looked like he was pulling him in close. He wrapped one arm around his back as he leaned over him. The other hand cupping his face. He was calling his name as Yuuri squirmed underneath the touch. He wanted him to stop but the words just wouldn’t come. His mouth opened and closed, but the only sounds escaping were gasps and sobs. Stop. Stop. Don’t touch. Get off. He shook his head. He squirmed. It hurt. Everything hurt. He shook his head harder and pulled his arms up to shield his face, and Viktor let go. He called his name. Shaky and scared. Just like Yuuri. 

    He opened his eyes and looked through the tears. 5 things. See 5 things. His hands, trembling pathetically. His bare feet, bruised from failing his jumps. The tile floor, so white it hurt to look at. Viktor’s knees, between his legs. Viktor’s shirt, white with blue stripes. It was one of Yuuri’s favorites. 

  1. 4 things. Touch 4 things. He grips the fabric of his sweatpants. Fleece since it’s freezing in Russia. Soft. His hands were trembling. He reaches one hand out to desperately grip the fabric on Viktor’s thigh. Viktor immediately reached a hand down to cover his.



    “Don’t touch me!” Yuuri shouted between his sobs, and Viktor pulled back instantly. He left his hands at his sides, not knowing what to do with them. Yuuri felt a pang of guilt. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please. Don’t be mad. Don’t hate me. I’ll be better, I promise. Just don’t be mad. Please.” He felt the wave of panic rise up again. His breathing sped up, even shakier. The hot tears were burning his cheeks. No. No. He was doing good. He was doing so good. 5 things. He has to ground himself. 5 things. See 5 things. The gray sweatpants he’s desperately clinging onto. The shirt. The shirt he loves. The shirt that looks amazing on his husband. He reaches up to grab at the hem of it. It’s a soft cotton. Nice to laze around in. He sees Viktor’s hands, clenched in fists at his side, obeying Yuuri’s cry. They were trembling slightly. Touch 4 things. He reached for the hand, wrapping his fingers around Viktor’s wrist. His hand was shaking, but Viktor’s skin was smooth. He didn’t try to move his hand. Didn’t try to grab Yuuri’s, and he was grateful for that. He looked up through the tears and saw Viktor’s worried face, brows furrowed, mouth moving. Even through the foggy tears he could see his fear. He reached up with his free hand and cupped the side of his neck. The strong muscles tensing slightly under Yuuri’s shaking hands. 

    Was that 4? He thinks so. 3. What was 3? Hear. 3 things he can hear. Viktor. His voice was still shaking. Worried. Focus. Listen. What was he saying?

    “Yuuri? Yura? Sweetheart, Love. It’s okay. I’m not mad. Just tell me what you want. Tell me what you need. I’ll do anything. I love you. Just tell me what to do. Breathe for me. Should I tell you to breathe? That’s obvious isn’t it? Just calm down. But that’s what you’re trying to do. Am I just making this worse? Do you want me here? Yura, please. You have to help me, I don’t know what I’m doing. Yura, love. Angel, please.  _ Please. I love you.” _

    Viktor’s panic shot a pang of guilt through him. Here he was having a panic attack over a stupid cup while Viktor is suffering because of him. He needs to get over this. He pulled Viktor down so he could bury his head into the crook of his neck, the grip on his wrist never letting go. Viktor rested his hand on the floor to hold himself up, so he wouldn’t touch Yuuri. He couldn’t have been more thankful. 

  1. 2 was smell. That’s why he pulled Viktor in close. His musky cologne that hinted at oranges. Deep breathes. Breathe it in. His chest didn’t hurt anymore. It wasn’t painful. It was only mildly suffocating. They stayed like that for a long time, hours, maybe only minutes, it could have even been just a few seconds for all he knew. It felt like a long time, then again, everything felt like it was being dragged out. Like it was in slow motion. Yuuri breathing in Viktor, dissecting the cologne. Musk. Orange. Mint. Some kind of wood. Cedar probably. Wasn’t that popular in colognes? His eyes still stung, but the tears stopped. The phantom hands around his throat disappeared somewhere along the way. He could still feel his heart pounding against his chest, but it wasn’t painful. Uncomfortable, yes, but not painful. 
  2. The last one was taste. 1 thing he can taste. He turned his head and placed his lips against the side of Viktor’s neck. The other man gasped at the feeling, but Yuuri was focusing on the slight salty tang of his flesh. He sucked a little, to ingrain the flavor on his tongue, to focus on it. He breathed out. Much calmer. He opened his eyes and saw a slight pink mark blossoming on his neck. He didn’t mean to do that. Viktor wouldn’t care though. He loved being marked. Yuuri pulled back only to be met with Viktor’s worried expression. He looked away. 



    “I’m sorry. I’m okay now,” he whispered, a wash of shame burning across his body. Viktor took a tentative hand and gently placed it on Yuuri’s cheek, as if it was a question. He gave a faint smile and turned into the warmth. It was nice, not overbearingly hot like before. Comforting. 

    “Ohthankgod,” Viktor breathed and wrapped his arms around Yuuri’s shoulders, burying his head in his neck. “I was so scared, I didn’t know what to do. I’ve never seen you like that, and I was only making things worse by touching you and, I just, I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Yuuri wrapped his arms around Viktor’s back and nuzzled against his shoulder. 

    “You did just fine. I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner about my panic attacks. It’s just...there’s so much pain, and I’ve always been alone with all of it. I didn’t want to burden you with my problems,” he choked the words out. He didn’t want to tell Viktor this, he didn’t want to be weak, but he knew he had to. He couldn’t run away from this. That would only make things even worse. Viktor pulled back and cupped either side of his face, forcing Yuuri to look into those beautiful, piercing eyes. 

    “Yura, my love. You’re not alone anymore. You have me. You will always have me, no matter what.” He smiled a small, reassuring smile. Yuuri averted his eyes, feeling all too guilty. 

    “It’s hard to accept that when the voice in your head constantly tells you ‘you’re not good enough.’ It’s what I’ve lived with all this time. And, I just…” he looked back up into Viktor’s eyes. “I’m worried about how you’ll think of me now.” 

    There. He said it. His fear is laid out in the open. He could already feel the tears burning in the back of his eyes again, just waiting for Viktor to push him away. To leave. 

    But he didn’t. He just stared at Yuuri with a shocked face of disbelief before choking out a laugh. That wasn’t what he was expecting. 

    “Do you want to know what I think of you?” Viktor smiled. Yuuri thought about his answer, not really wanting to hear it, but Viktor continued anyways. “I think you’re beautiful, even when you’re barfing. I think you’re brave, even when you’re trembling against the wall. I think you’re strong, even when you’re sobbing. I think you’re absolutely amazing being able to put on gold medal worthy performances even when you suffer like this. And I think I’m the luckiest man in the world for being able to call you mine.” 

    Yuuri wordlessly reached up and laced his fingers with Viktor’s, leaving his hands on his cheeks. He smiled and relaxed into the touch. His chest was light, he could breathe easy. His eyes stung, but no tears were threatening to fall. And he was tired. Exhausted. He felt worse than he did after competing and flying home the same night after a free skate. He looked up at Viktor once more and really, truly smiled. 

    “Thank you, Vitya. I love you.” He sighed, a weight was lifted and he felt relaxed. 

    “I love you, too.” He kissed Yuuri’s forehead. “Come on, you look exhausted. We can head to bed early tonight.”

    “Mmhm.” Viktor was right. He was more than exhausted. He barely went through the motions to brush his teeth and shower with Viktor half holding him up, but eventually, the two flopped under the covers with Yuuri wrapping his arms around his waist and breathing in the apple scented soap that clung to Viktor’s chest. He must really liked these fruit smells. 

    Viktor wrapped his arms around him and slowly stroked his still damp hair. Yuuri sighed one last time. Happy. Relief. Comfort. Bliss. Viktor was his everything. 

    “I love you, Vitya.” He whispered into his chest and felt Viktor’s arms give him a little squeeze. He wishes he could stay like this forever. 

    “I love you more, Yura.” 

    “That’s not possible.” Yuuri smiled and shook his head.  It was childish, he knew, but it was also the truth. Viktor pulled his head back to be able to look him in the eyes at that statement. His smile had disappeared from his face, which was uncharacteristically serious. 

    “It’s true. I love you more. I even have your body pillow.” Yuuri almost choked with that last statement, which he sat up to. 

    “My what?”

    “You’re body pillow! It’s not supposed to be released until next month but I called the company up and they sent me one early!” His eyes lit up at the conversation, and Yuuri could only stare dumbfounded as his husband ran over to the closet and pulled out what was indeed a fucking body pillow of him and showed it off like a child with a prized stuffed animal. 

    “I...didn’t even know they were making these…” was the only thing he could think of saying. 

    “Uhuh! And look here, too! They made these little figurines of you! They’re called nendoroids!” Viktor rushed off to uncover a nightstand, which Yuuri thought was covered for decoration since it had a lace trim cover, but apparently not. Underneath was a multitude of figurines of him, all with different expressions and outfits. One even had him holding a katsudon. He stared for a moment, then saw the pure happiness that was just  _ beaming _ off of Viktor. 

    “Hey, Vitya?”

    “Yes?”

    “I hope you know I’m going to sell all of these now,” he smiled as the words slipped out. No way in hell was he living with merchandise of himself. Just...no. 

    “What?” Viktor stared wide eyed. That wasn’t the reaction he was hoping for. Yuuri flopped back down under the covers feeling the warmth envelop him. “Yura? You’re joking right?” He smiled at his husband’s voice rising in pitch. “These show my love for you! I got all of them!”

    “If it means we don’t have any figurines of me, you can love me more,” Yuuri sighed into the duvet as he snuggled in the fluffy bed. Viktor turned the thought over in his head for a second before crawling underneath the covers with him and pulling him close, kissing his forehead. 

    “Can I keep the body pillow?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The breathing exercise is a band thing I used to do for warm up and the 5-4-3-2-1 thing is called grounding, to help disassociate yourself from what’s bothering you. Both are valid calming exercises to help with anxiety.


	26. Broken, As You Clutch The Sleeve Of My Jacket And Beg Me Not To Leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri leaves Viktor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make this angsty, but I have too much homework to be able to plan something out for that. So this is just a quick, badly written fluff. Sorry. I wish I had more time to write so I can update this more often /bows/ Thank you for your patience /hearts/

 

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice

Pairing: Viktuuri

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: I don't own anything 

Warnings: Viktor being extra, HC that Viktor loves puns and pick up lines

The Way You Say “I Love You”

Ch 26:  Broken, As You Clutch The Sleeve Of My Jacket And Beg Me Not To Leave

    “Yuuri, please,” his voice cracked. The pitch was up an octave. Airy. Heartbroken. 

    He didn’t care.

    “What do you expect, Viktor?” Cold. Harsh. Exhausted. Yuuri was stressed. Tired of Viktor’s extravagance. Day in. Day out. Viktor would change. He promised. He could change for Yuuri. He can act. He does it all the time when he performs on ice, what’s the difference doing it for him? He’ll act however Yuuri wants him to act. 

    “Stay close to me. Don’t go. Please, Yuuri.” His hand was clenching the gray fabric covering his heart, face filled with worry and anguish. He hated this. Hated watching the love of his life turn his back on him. Hated watching Yuuri walk away from him so heartlessly. Like he never cared at all. 

    “You know I can’t do that, Viktor.” He sighed a long, drawn-out sigh. The apathy was clear on his face. He wasn’t angry or relieved to leave. He was just tired. So tired. And it was Viktor’s fault. Yuuri was leaving because of Viktor. “I have to go.”

    “Please, Yuuri! I’m sorry. I’ll go. I’ll go, just stay here. Don’t leave, please. I’m sorry. I love you. Please,” he reached out with trembling hands and gripped the coarse wool of the jacket Yuuri had slipped on. His vision grew blurry as the tears pooled up in his eyes and still he kept on staring at Yuuri, waiting for him to turn around, to say he’ll stay, to say anything. Anything at all. Instead, he grabbed Viktor’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. He turned and smiled at him, whispering his own proclamation of love back to him, before leaving regardless. The gentle click of the door was the only sound in their apartment for a while. 

    Until the reality came crashing down on Viktor.

    Makkachin patted over and gently laid his head on Viktor’s lap. He was crying. The hot tears flowing into Makkachin’s fur making the thick curls clump up and get stuck together. The poodle tentatively licked his master’s cheeks, but Viktor just sat there motionless. How could he be so stupid? Why did he just let Yuuri leave? He should have gone instead. Yuuri should have stayed. He hated watching Yuuri walk away like that. He clutched Makkachin close to him and let his tears fall freely. 

    He was an idiot. 

    If only he hadn’t...If only he didn’t...If only he just  _ listened _ to Yuuri for once in his life...Then he wouldn’t have left. He would still be here happily sipping his coffee while Viktor wrapped his arms around him and snuggled like they did every morning. If only-

    The soft click of the door lock pulled him out of his thoughts. His head shot up as the handle turned. He was up and running before Yuuri could even call out to him, the latter being not as surprised as he should have been when his fiancé jumped into his arms. 

    “Yuuri! You’re back!” Viktor buried his head into Yuuri’s neck feeling the cold skin press against his cheeks, still hot from the tears. Yuuri just sighed and wrapped his free arm around his back. 

    “Are you going to do this every time I go to buy milk?”

    “Only when it’s my fault you don’t have any for your coffee. I’m sorry, again.” He sheepishly smiled as he leaned up for a kiss. Yuuri couldn’t resist. 

    “It’s okay, Viktor. Just...don’t make this a recurring thing? Please?” Yuuri was basically begging. “I quite enjoy my morning coffee.”

    “Well, you could just drink it black like me,” Viktor smiled as he sat up next to Yuuri, who followed along with a grimace on his face.

    “As much as I love coffee, it’s too bitter for me to drink it black.”

    “But I’m sweet enough for the both of us.” Viktor smiled excitedly, almost bouncing on the floor.

    “Viktor. No.”

    “Come on! Aren’t I hotter than your coffee anyway?”

    “Viktor-”

    “You know you can feel something brewing between us, too.”

    “Viktor, I swear to-”

    “I can keep you up all night better than coffee can.” Viktor winked. 

    Yuuri just sat there.

    He took a deep breath.

    In…

    Out…

    He had to remind himself that this was the man he was madly in love with.

    “I’m leaving you and taking Makkachin with me.” He stood up and moved to pour the milk he just bought into his, now cold, cup of coffee. Viktor sat frowning on the floor for a minute debating his response. He followed Yuuri and wrapped his arms around his stomach. He nuzzled into the back of his neck and felt Yuuri’s fingers stroking his hair. All was forgiven. 

    “I’ve been thinking about you a latte.”

    “Come on, Makkachin! We’re leaving!” He turned to walk away but Viktor held on tightly to him laughing.

    “No! Yuuri! I love you! That was the last one! I promise!” His words were met with a high arched brow of disbelief.

    “The last one? Really?”

    “Really!”

    He stared at Viktor for a bit before nodding and picking up his cup again. He took a long sip and sighed happily. Viktor was still holding onto him and nuzzling his neck, which Yuuri loved. When he finished his cup, he would always turn his head to place a gentle kiss on Viktor’s forehead. Today was no different, regardless of how their morning went. His fiancé was basically vibrating with excitement when his lips met his skin.  _ It was cute _ he thought.  _ He loves me _ he thought. He smiled. 

    “I really love the way you espresso yourself.”

_ How much is a plane ticket to Hasetsu _ he thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Later that night~  
>  "Viktor, can I call you coffee?"  
>  "Why?"  
>  "Because you grind so fine" (wink)  
>  (dies of a nosebleed)


	27. A Taunt, With One Eyebrow Raised And A Grin Bubbling At Your Lips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor and Yuuri have a bet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait to update! I had a genderbend fem!Yuuri request I was working on, which I finally finished the first chapter of! (Let the music take over) I’m finally on my summer break, which is a whopping 8 days! Whooo….   
> Side note: I have a few AUs I wanna write, a soulmate AU, a dance major/college AU, and a police/yazuka AU. Why am I picking up another project when I already have this, the genderbend, and my kkm fic? Who knows? But regardless, which would you guys be more interested in?

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice

Pairing: Viktuuri

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own anything 

Warnings: Dorks, Bets, Bondage, and Dishes

The Way You Say “I Love You”

Ch 27:  A Taunt, With One Eyebrow Raised And A Grin Bubbling At Your Lips

    “Yuuri~ I love you~” Viktor cries out across the rink. It was sweet at first and Yuuri would blush or call it back to him. But it seems like every two minutes, Victor is crying out some form of ‘I love you, Yuuri!’ which, let’s be real, makes him feel really good. 

    Until it keeps happening. 

    For three weeks straight.

    Viktor even woke him up at three in the morning to tell him how much he loves him. Sure, it’s super sweet. But Yuuri is sleep deprived, stressed from preparing his routines, and all around fed up with Viktor and his childishness.

    They had just gotten home after a long, long day of practice. Yuuri was struggling with some jump combos, and every time he fell, Victor would coo out some term of endearment and another ‘I love you.’ He just wanted to eat and sleep. Can’t Viktor just let him eat and sleep?

    Of course not.

    “My Angel, I love you so much~” Victor said as he started to put the groceries away. That was it. Yuuri just couldn’t take it. 

    “Jesus Vitya! I bet you can’t even go one day without saying ‘I love you’ can you?!” He shouted at him. He immediately felt guilty about it and was about to apologize before Viktor responded. 

    “Yes, I can.”

    Yuuri just stared at him. Was he serious? He’s a child. He’s a big, man-child.

    “No, you can’t.” 

    “Of course I can!”

    “Prove it. Go a full day without saying ‘I love you’ and I’ll do all the chores for a week. If you fail, you do the chores for a week,” Yuuri grinned already knowing how this was going to end.

    “Deal!”

    Yuuri could have been an adult about this whole ordeal and just enjoy his day of quiet, but he also didn’t want to do the chores for a full week. So Yuuri decides that if Victor can be sickeningly sweet, so can he.

    It started with just him snuggling with Viktor in the morning while they were getting ready. Then it was him whispering ‘I love you’ in secret on the way over to the rink. Victor almost caved then. So Yuuri had to escalate it. He cooed across the rink at Viktor so much that Yuri threw his phone at them (again). He almost had Victor too.

    But it’s okay. He still had all night to break Viktor, and he knew exactly how to do it. 

    Victor was sitting on the couch after dinner, and Yuuri snuck up behind him wrapping his arms across his chest as he nuzzled his head in the crook of his neck. He felt Viktor’s hand idly run through his hair as he continued to watch whatever Russian soap opera that was playing. Yuuri smiled before flicking his tongue out tasting the slightly salty skin. His hand froze.

    “Vitya~ Why don’t we have some fun tonight?” Yuuri cooed in his ear as he nibbled gently. He heard the breath leave Victor’s mouth before he turned his head to kiss Yuuri. He smiled as Viktor shoved his tongue in before pulling back with a wink as he left, headed towards the bedroom. 

    Victor tripped over a pile of books as he followed Yuuri. 

    It started out with kisses, deep and passionate. Then Viktor’s hands were underneath his shirt and Yuuri moaned as his hot fingers traced fire down his sides. He didn’t even bother trying to work the buttons on Victor’s shirt, instead, Yuuri ripped it open letting the buttons fly. Viktor  _ growled _ and Yuuri knew he was going to win. 

    They made their way to the bed, and Yuuri turned them around before he fell backwards onto it. He wanted to be on top, and Victor was more than willing. He even whimpered when Yuuri grabbed a tie to tie his hands together. He sat back straddling Viktor, staring at him with hungry eyes before leaning down and whispering in his ear. 

    “You’re absolutely beautiful like this, Vitya. I love you so much,” he went to work necking his husband, making sure to leave bright red marks so Victor can admire the bruising in the morning. 

    “God, I lov-” Viktor caught himself before he let the words slip. “That’s dirty.”

    “Oh~ I think you’re the dirty one here, Vitya,” Yuuri grinned as he grinded down on Victor’s hips, feeling exactly how much he loved him. Viktor groaned as he bucked his hips up.

    Yuuri leaves a trail of hot kisses and red bite marks all the way down Victor’s chest, making sure to trace each of his ab muscles with his tongue just like he knows Viktor loves. His whines made it all the more clear. Yuuri was painfully slow as he slid the sweatpants down his husband’s legs and off the bed, and even more painfully slow as he slid his boxers off. He slowly stripped his own pants and boxers off, watching as Viktor’s eyes never left his body. Once again, he sat back admiring just how beautiful Victor was.

    His hair was splayed out across his face and his hands were firmly tied above his head. The bright marks on his neck were starting to darken, and Yuuri could see the pure desire in his eyes. He smirked as his eyes wandered down to where Viktor was already dripping with need, and he leaned down as if to taste him.

    Instead, Victor felt his hot breath brushing over his burning skin and he was twitching, squirming, needing him. Goddamn, he needed him. Yuuri flicked his tongue across the tip making Viktor gasp and buck his hips up before he trailed his tongue up his stomach, nibbling at his collarbone. He nibbled his ear as he basically moaned so seductively that it should just be illegal, and Victor can already feel his heart giving out. 

    “Come on, Vitya. Just say those three little words, and I’ll give you everything you want tonight. Just say ‘I love you,’” he cooed. 

    Viktor should have seen this coming. He should have known Yuuri was going to play dirty with their bet. He never should have agreed to this bet. It was a trap all alon- _ ohmygod _ Yuuri gasped in Victor’s ear as he slid a finger inside of himself. Victor didn’t even see him grab the bottle of lube off the nightstand. He rested his head on Viktor’s shoulder and moaned as he worked it in and out. Victor watched wide-eyed, but that stupid tie was tighter than the skinny jeans Chris got him for his birthday. All he could do was watch as Yuuri squirmed on top of him when he added a second finger. 

    His gasps and moans escaped his lips, but Viktor wasn’t going to cave. He was going to win this bet if it was the last thing he did. Yuuri’s glossy eyes looked up at him as drool dribbled down his lips, and he cried out when his fingers hit just the right spot. His hips bucked forward grinding against Victor making him release his own growling gasp of momentary friction that he so desperately desired. 

    “Please, Vi-Vitya…I...want you so badly,” he whined as a third finger slipped in and looked up at him with big doe eyes. “Tell me you love me, Vitya. Please, I need you inside me.”

    “I love you so fucking much, Yuuri. Jesus fucking Christ, please. Please, Yuuri,” Viktor begged, grinding his hips up against Yuuri’s own aching cock. He leaned down and locked lips as Yuuri positioned himself over Victor. Yuuri sighed as he slid down making Viktor want him even more. 

    He bucked his hips up making Yuuri cry out as he hit deep. His hands were still tied up with that stupid tie and he wanted to grab Yuuri’s ass and he  _ couldn’t _ . He bucked up faster to make up for it growling as Yuuri clawed down his chest as he bounced up and down. Goddamn, Victor was already so close and he could hear Yuuri’s voice rising in pitch like it did when he was about to cum, too. He watched Yuuri reach down between his legs and start stroking himself, which was Viktor’s job, but  _ Yuuri fucking tied him up _ . 

    “Yuuri. I love you,” he growled as he pushed up in a spasm as he came and felt Yuuri’s own hot release on his stomach with a cry. He collapsed on top of him, panting hard and kissing his cheek and neck. They laid like that for a few minutes before Yuuri got up to get a washcloth and started to gently clean up Victor and finally untied his hands. 

    Viktor wrapped his arms around Yuuri, and he snuggled up next to him. He squeezed Yuuri, who only nuzzled up closer to him. Yuuri kissed him gently on the lips before whispering with a smile,

    “The sink is full of dishes, Love.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can thank my dork of a friend for the spelling switches (ily). Feel free to hmu on LINE or tumblr /smiles/   
> http://demonqueen21.tumblr.com/


	28. When I Am Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Ch 13 "In A Letter." The sad ending for when Viktor fails to save Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to reiterate that I am always open to talk to anyone who's going through hard times, whether it be about what's happening, yoi, anime, fanfiction, cats, it doesn't matter. Things have been rough for me too, and no one should ever have to face their demons alone. This is not a happy chapter, and there is no happy ending here. Life isn't always happy, but remember, you never have to face things alone. You have my support at the very least /hearts/

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice

Pairing: Viktuuri

Rating: T for suicide

Disclaimer: I don't own anything 

Warnings: SUICIDE TRIGGER, angst, NOT A HAPPY ENDING

The Way You Say “I Love You”

Ch 28: When I Am Dead

    “And now announcing Viktor Nikiforov to take the ice!” the announcer called out over the loudspeakers as the silver haired man solemnly skated to the center of the ice. “His theme this year hits close to home after the death of his beloved fiancé and figure skater, Yuuri Katsuki, entitled ‘Love and Loss.’” 

    Viktor’s short program outfit was a plain black suit with an added miniature hat and lace mesh hanging over his face. It was to represent his funeral attire, and the black gloves he wore were identical copies of Yuuri’s. He took up his pose and bit back the tears that always came with this stupid program he designed. 

    The [[music]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiFT7A4i3AU) rang out with soft piano chords as he bent back into a spin, arms raised towards the heavens. The beginning was his step sequence, which has been his most renowned composition yet was in honor of Yuuri’s love and emotion within his skating. His spread eagle was perfect, just like Yuuri, and he waited for the guitar strums before leaping into a quad toe-loop. That was always Yuuri’s favorite quad. 

    “Look at that landing! You can really feel the passion he’s laid out over this season despite the tragedy in his personal life. Nikiforov has taken every single gold during the Grand Prix series, and he’s the favorite for the World Championship. This will be the first time he’s shown the public his World’s choreography due to its personal meaning to him,” the commentator spoke as Viktor landed with sharp movements to match the guitar strums before melting into a spin. 

    The lyrics picked up and Viktor held back a sob as he reached his arms out, reaching for Yuuri. He felt the gentle crescendo in his bones as he took off in another jump, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw him.

    Yuuri was smiling at him from the kiss and cry. 

    His head shot around to look at him, and Viktor came crashing down into the ice. He quickly scrambled to his hands and knees searching for him only to find an empty bench. A sob escaped his lips as the tears burned down his cheeks. This wasn’t how it’s supposed to be. They were supposed to grow old together. They were supposed to adopt a million puppies and retire and teach ice skating to children in their old age. They were supposed to get married.

    He put his head back on the ice sobbing. His heart was tearing itself in two all over again. How could he let this happen? Why didn’t he notice Yuuri’s suffering sooner? Why? WHy?  _ WHY? _

    He didn’t notice when the music cut out. He didn’t hear Yakov screaming at him across the ice. He barely felt it when the medics helped him up. The tears just kept falling and he was numb inside and hurting all in the same.

    The scores came in, but he didn’t register anything. He knew it’d be his lowest ever. Hell, he didn’t even finish the skate. He couldn’t. He can’t. 

    How was he supposed to manage without Yuuri?

    Yakov didn’t even scream at him when they got back to the hotel. Instead, he just shook his head and placed what was supposed to be a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

    “I know it’s hard, but do you really think Yuuri would want you skating like that because of him?”

    No. No, he wouldn’t. 

    Viktor didn’t say anything, and Yakov didn’t push him anymore. The free skate was the next day, and Viktor cried himself to sleep again. 

    He’d make Yuuri proud.

    “For the first time ever, Nikiforov will be the first one to skate in the free program. His emotional short program scored him a 76.41, his all time lowest score in any program, even from his junior days. However, he seems much more together today for the free program, and the crowd’s support is almost overwhelming,” the announcer commented as Viktor took his starting pose. 

    He took a deep breath to calm himself. Yakov and him had spent almost an hour coming through the ISO rule book to make sure what he was doing was even legal, which they changed just enough to barely make it. He looked up and sent a silent prayer to Yuuri before tilting his head back down. 

    The ominous [[notes]](https://musescore.com/user/8480846/scores/3275896) rang out as he repeated the motions he saw Yuuri do so many times. The arms, the legs, the emotion. Viktor held back the sob that was quickly rising up his chest from the memory. He centered himself for his quad toe-double toe combo. The crowd roared with approval once they realized just what was occurring.

    He was recreating Yuuri’s record breaking free skate.

    With a few tweaks. The most obvious one being the music transposed into a minor key to represent the loss of his love. The less obvious one is that Viktor has changed the jump composition, but afterwards, everyone will know. He changed all the jumps besides the combinations and and the triple flip into quads. He has seven planned quads which would be breaking a record in itself. 

    “Look at that wide spread eagle! And that beautiful arch on his layback Ina Bauer. Katsuki was known for his stylistic choreography such as these to win back points on his jumps and-wait. Did I see that correctly? Quick, do a replay of that. Is that-it is. Ladies and gentleman, you have all just witnessed history as Viktor Nikiforov is the first figure skater in history to land a quad axel in competition!”

    Viktor ignored the cheers and screams. He had to concentrate. This was going to be his last season. He couldn’t handle another year skating with so many memories of Yuuri. His legs and back were burning with the strain this program puts on him, never mind the quads he’s determined to make use of. This program is dedicated to his one and only love and Goddamnit he was going to make it fucking perfect. 

    He didn’t even notice the tears dripping down his face as the music started to pick up along with the combo jumps. He braced himself for the most difficult combo he has planned, but the burning determination left no room for anything less than perfect. This was for Yuuri. 

    He took off into another quad axel and he felt the stress riding up his knee as he spun into a single loop and a triple salchow. His back leg swung up for balance and he tightened his abs to stay steady. He didn’t care about the points, not really. He just wanted to put on a final performance that would make Yuuri proud. The tears mixed with sweat as he started into another jump combo before the beautiful step sequence he helped choreographed to begin with. 

    Yuuri was absolutely breathtaking when he danced on the ice, and Viktor knew he could never compare with that. He could try, but Yuuri was perfection. It didn’t matter. Viktor would gladly give up everything just to be able to hold him again. Every muscle in his body was screaming in pain as he took off in his signature quad flip, the very same flip that Yuuri showed his love with, the very same flip that Yuuri made history with, the very same flip that Viktor would never be able to perform again without letting out a sob. 

    The tears trailed down his face and neck as he mimicked Yuuri’s signature ending spin, holding one hand across his heart and the other up towards the heaven. For Yuuri. 

    The crowd went wild. 

    Viktor didn’t care about the score, but Yakov’s pat on the back at the kiss and cry made him look up at the board. His eyes went wide. He beat Yuuri’s world record with a score of 250.48, bringing his total score to 326.90. He gave a faint smile hoping Yuuri wouldn’t be too mad at him. 

    “Nikiforov has once again made history folks, not only beating his late fiancé’s world record, but also having scored the most points in a single element with his quad axel-single loop-triple salchow combination jump, AND being the first skater in history to land a quad axel in competition! What new heights will he bring this sport to next season?”

    Viktor relaxed once they got back to the bleachers to finish watching the other skaters. He won gold and smiled for the cameras, tears still gently streaming down his cheeks. His chest was hollow, but he accomplished what he wanted. He made Yuuri proud. He hoped he made him proud because he knew he’d never hear the end of it with what he was planning on doing next. 

    After he got back to St. Petersburg, he went to the beach. Makkachin was still at Lila’s being doggy-sat as he felt the sand between his toes. He wondered if Yuuri felt the same sand beneath his feet or if he had left his shoes on. 

    He squeezed the ring that was tied on the necklace he now wore, the same ring that matched the one on his finger. He gave it a gentle kiss and a soft smile. 

    “I’m so sorry, Yuuri,” he whispered as he took a step in the water. “I’m coming for you, my love.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all.


	29. Slowly, The Words Dripping From Your Tongue Like Honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri is having doubts of Viktor's feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I forgot how much I love writing. I wish I could write more during the school year because this is honestly so relaxing to me. Plug in some music and write for 16 hours straight man. Is it too late change my major from premed to journalism? Probably… I’ll just go back to my suffering through Orgo, Physics, and Anatomy (Yeah, my summer’s rough. Rip me.)

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice

Pairing: Viktuuri

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: I don't own anything 

Warnings: Self-doubt, Fluff, Viktor’s not an idiot for once

The Way You Say “I Love You”

Ch 29:  Slowly, The Words Dripping From Your Tongue Like Honey

    Yuuri knew Viktor loved him. He showed him, and the whole world, that much during the Cup of China. That kiss clearly told everyone how much he loved Yuuri.

    If that was the case, how come his chest ached so much?

    They had matching rings. They were basically engaged, but still. The doubt filled Yuuri like a dark spiral. After all, he was the one who drunkenly told Viktor to coach him, and he was the one who made his theme love, and he was the one who gave Viktor the rings, and he was the one who moved in with Viktor...what if Viktor was just going along with it this entire time? What if he just didn’t want to hurt Yuuri’s feelings?

    He felt his stomach drop. Was this just another huge misunderstanding? Was he imagining Viktor’s feelings this entire time? The thought killed him. 

    Of course, his skating suffered because of it. Of course, Viktor noticed. Of course, Viktor couldn’t just ignore him. Why did things never work out in Yuuri’s favor?

    “Yuuri? What’s on your mind? You never mess up your jumps that badly unless something’s wrong,” Viktor said with a careful smile as he looked across the bar table at Yuuri. He felt the blush creeping up his neck as he looked down at the carrot he was chopping. 

    “N-Nothing. Sorry, I’ll do better,” he mumbled as his knife continued to slice the vegetable. Viktor didn’t push him. He knew that usually the best way to get information out of Yuuri was patience. He’ll talk when he’s ready. Viktor just hoped he’d be ready soon, his choreography was still rough around the edges and they needed to get it in shape soon. 

    Viktor chatted aimlessly during dinner, filling in conversation for when Yuuri went quiet. Yuuri washed the dishes even though it was Viktor’s turn to do it, so he thanked him and went to shower. The hot steam melting away his worries. 

    He was towel drying his hair when he stepped in the bedroom seeing Yuuri sitting on their shared bed. Viktor smiled at him carefully. Yuuri looked at him before staring at his hands in his lap again. He sat there silently as Viktor changed into pajamas and sat on the bed facing Yuuri, loosely wrapping an arm and a leg around his back and side. 

    “If something is bothering you, you know that I’m always here for you, Yuuri,” Viktor gently offered as he nuzzled into Yuuri’s neck. He felt him tense up before relaxing into his touch. 

    “I…” Yuuri mumbled before stopping himself. “I’m sorry.”

    That surprised Viktor. It certainly wasn’t what he was expecting him to say, but he hid behind his composure, not wanting to startle Yuuri into submission again. 

    “For what exactly?” he carefully said with even words. Getting Yuuri to open up was like a dance around broken glass. Don’t startle him. Don’t push him. Don’t laugh. Be patient. Speak slowly and carefully. All these silent rules Viktor has slowly been learning swirled around his head as he coaxed the information out of his fiancé.

    “For making you go along with me,” he almost whispered. It sounded like he was holding back tears. “I know I’ve put you in an awkward position and I just wanted to apologize and let you know I’ll start searching for an apartment and start making payments for your coaching fee and-” the words tumbled out of his mouth so fast that Viktor could barely follow it before he cut him off. 

    “Yuuri. Yuuri, what on Earth are you talking about? Awkward position? Moving out? I don’t want you moving out. I’m the one who asked you to move in with me in the first place,” Viktor ran a hand through his bangs. “I guess I never asked if you were okay with that. I kind of just assumed you wouldn’t mind, but if you’re unhappy I..can help you find another place.” He forced the words out. He didn’t want to lose Yuuri, but if he wasn’t happy living together then he’d just have to wait until he was ready. Their relationship was moving pretty fast and he understood if Yuuri wanted to slow things down...but that doesn’t mean it still didn’t sting a bit. 

    “What? No! I’m really happy! I love being here with you,” Yuuri’s shocked face was adorable. 

    “Then why are you moving out?” Viktor was completely lost. More so than usual. 

    “Because...I kind of forced you into this whole thing without thinking about how you felt. With the coaching and the rings and then moving in together…” Yuuri twiddled with his fingers as a sad smile plastered itself on his face. He was trying to be brave and not cry. Viktor couldn’t help himself. He laughed.

    “You? Forced me? Oh Yuuri, you’re so silly sometimes,” Viktor said with a smile as he hugged the shocked man burying his face in his neck. “Don’t forget, I’m the one who made you skate about my own sexual frustrations and kissed you on live television.”

    “But...then why haven’t…” Yuuri’s voice trailed off into an incoherent mumble. 

    “What was that?” Viktor said picking up his face to smile at a very red Yuuri. 

    “Why haven’t you...told me you loved me,” Yuuri immediately buried his face in his hands. He can’t believe he just said that outloud. 

    Viktor stared at him in shock. So that’s what this was all about? He gave a gentle smile as he pulled Yuuri’s wrists to the side so he could look him in the eyes. 

    “I wanted to wait for you to say it, since I know it’s a cultural thing to not say your love and to show it instead. I didn’t want to push you into it or make you feel uncomfortable if I was telling you, but trust me when I say I have wanted to tell you just how much I loved you from the first moment I came to Hasetsu,” Viktor smiled as Yuuri’s blush travelled down his neck and his eyes grew wide. “Listen to me carefully Yuuri.”

    And he did. He watched every word drip from his tongue, slow and sweet just like honey. His heart melted as the words finally left his lover’s lips. And his kiss afterwards has never been sweeter. 

    “I love you with all my heart, Yuuri.” 


	30. Too Quick, Mumbled Into Your Scarf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri tells Viktor he loves him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Self care is drinking the entirety of sparkling grape juice from the bottle as you listen to obscure music to include in your smutty fanfics. Hmu on LINE, Tumblr, AO3 and ffn /smiles/ I always love talking to you guys! Yous the best /hearts/  

 

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice

Pairing: Viktuuri

Rating: T for implied sex

Disclaimer: I don't own anything 

Warnings: Fluff I guess

The Way You Say “I Love You”

Ch 30:  Too Quick, Mumbled Into Your Scarf

    Viktor knew Yuuri loved him. He showed him that every day of their shared lives together in St. Petersburg. He showed him by the way he was so comfortable around him, and the way he nuzzled up next to him in bed.

    If that was the case, how come his chest ached so much?

    That’s more of a rhetorical question because he already knew the answer. Viktor was very vocal about his love and adoration to Yuuri, but the younger man was more reserved in his love, which don’t get him wrong, Viktor didn’t mind at all. It’s just that since they’ve officially gotten together, Yuuri still hasn’t told him he loved him. 

    Viktor knew. Of course he knew Yuuri loved him. It’d just be nice to be told that every once in awhile. So during their walk home from dinner, Viktor couldn’t help himself. 

    “Do you love me, Yuuri?” he blurted out, surprising himself and his fiancé.

    “Of course I do!” he blushed turning his head into his scarf trying to hide. They were holding hands and Viktor felt him give a little squeeze. 

    “That’s good,” Viktor hummed happily, bumping his shoulder against Yuuri’s. 

    “What brought this on all of a sudden?” Yuuri asked as he nuzzled up against Viktor’s side and settling back into their easy pace home. 

    “Oh, well you’ve just never said it before, so I wanted to double check,” his mouth curled into that famous heart-shaped smile and Yuuri suddenly froze. Viktor came to a halt after he realized Yuuri stopped walking. He gave a tentative squeeze to his hand as he asked what’s wrong. 

    “Have...I really never said that I love you?” Yuuri asked almost shocked. 

    “Well, you’ve showed me plenty of times, Love,” Viktor said as he wrapped his arms around Yuuri’s waist. 

    “But have I ever said it?” Yuuri looked up at Viktor with a slight panic in his eyes. 

    “...It’s fine,” Viktor hesitated. He never meant to upset Yuuri and he definitely didn’t want to fight. 

    “No, Viktor! It’s not fine,” Yuuri cried out. “I can’t believe I’ve never said it before.” He was mumbling to himself in Japanese and Viktor could see the panic slowly rising. He squeezed Yuuri tightly around the waist trying to calm him. He gave a gentle kiss on his forehead, and Yuuri froze blushing. He bent his head down into his scarf mumbling something. 

    “What was that, Sweetie?” Viktor asked. Yuuri picked his head up. 

    “I love you,” his face was speckled red, but not from the cold, and Viktor could feel his own insides heating up. He smiled and engulfed the shorter man in a hug. 

    “Say it again~” he cooed as Yuuri wrapped his arms around his back. 

    “I love you, Vitya,” he mumbled against his chest. Viktor froze as all the blood rushed into his lower half. Yuuri had never called him Vitya before. Yuuri had never said ‘I love you’ before, and Yuuri sure as hell has never done both of them in the same sentence before. 

    “Viktor? Are you okay?” Yuuri asked concerned as the older man still stood there holding him tight. 

    “Perfect. Let’s just get home quickly,” he said as he grabbed his hand and hurriedly picked up the pace back to their apartment, and more importantly, their bed. 

    Viktor was going to show Yuuri just how much he loved him back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is http://demonqueen21.tumblr.com/ if that's your thing. Never be shy about messaging me :D


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